3 HINTS TO RENT YOUR HOUSE THIS SUMMER AND BAD WEATHER, NO PROBLEM – LET’S GOLF!

Every now and then this blog is inspired by the muses.  But first I need to clarify, I’m   talking about that Olivia Newton-John kind of muse, not by the classic Greek muses.     So what was my latest inspiration?  Was it to quit my job and open an elaborately decorated roller-disco?  No, it was to help you my friends!  Help you turn your house into an actual Xanadu that people will want to rent this summer!

1-  Make sure the house is uncluttered and neutralized.    By neutralized I mean take all of those quirky little decorative choices you’ve made and turn them into a Pottery Barn dream!   Floral patterns are a no.   Besides, Laura Ashley has been dead since 1985.  It’s time to move on.   Think basic, basic, basic; monochromatic bed spreads, curtains and

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Yeah, nothing says summer rental like flowers!

carpeting.      Also, put away all of those family photos that litter your foyer, bedroom and den.    Yes, you can tell potential renters you’re going to put them away but it’s better to make it look like an easy task rather than relocating the National Portrait Gallery.     Speaking of art, that thing on the refrigerator isn’t that good and your kid is no Renoir.   Give it to Grandma.  Besides, she loves that ####, go ahead and make her day.

2 – Now that your house doesn’t look like the before from an episode of “Horders,”  call a photographer and have the home professionally shot.    You get what you pay for and it’s worth it.    You’ll get better money if the house shines and it won’t shine if you take photos from your iphone or Polaroid Swinger.      Talk to your real estate agent and ask for suggestions.  I’m sure they’ll be able to provide you with a few names.

3- Speaking of real estate agents… make sure they know you’re on the market for rent.   That means get it into the local database and unless you’re living in the Taj Mahal it’s a good idea to make sure you keep it as an “open listing.”    No agent is going to retire from the 10% you pay on the rental lease so at least make it an enticing proposition.     More and more agents are putting listings into the system as “exclusive rentals” and that’s a mistake.    You’ve just drastically reduced your potential showings.  But if the idea of meeting agents or giving out keys makes you nervous, hire an agent and have them list your property at compelling split with the other agents.   That means, you’re listing agent takes 20% and the agent who brings the tenant get’s 80% of the 10%.    Think about it this way, agents are not doing this as a hobby, they want to make money.   Make it worth it!

So once you get your house ready for rental, I’m sure a few of you out there would like nothing more than to relax with a nice round of golf.   But if the idea of flying to Florida seems too daunting a task (I’m assuming you don’t want to golf with snow on the ground), you may want to just take your clubs and head to Toilsome Rd. in East Hampton for a visit with PGA Pro Eric Schultzel.   His training facility there is completely indoors and weather is no problem.     Click the video below to get a little preview.

Visiting Eric’s Golf Simulator Studio from Patrick Mclaughlin on Vimeo.

You can also click here to visit Eric’s site or give him a call at 631-527-5959

 

 

 

 

“WHAT’S NEW.. BUENOS AIRES?!” PLUS, GOING, GOING, ALMOST GONE!

Bay Street Theater in Sag Harbor has announced the three productions planned for the 2018 Summer Season. The first will be the World Premiere of FELLOW TRAVELERS, (May 29 – June 17), a new play that examines the relationship between legendary theater artists Arthur Miller and Elia Kazan and their close relationship to Marilyn Monroe.  The show examines how the politics of the McCarthy era affected the friendship between the two and their work.

The second will be FROST/NIXON (June 26 – July 22), by Peter Morgan. The third production is the musical EVITA, (July 31 – August 26) by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice.    I have to say,  I love the selection and given the current political climate right now these plays couldn’t be more relevant.    I think I’ve seen Evita more than any other Broadway show, Lupone, Rogers and others.    One of my favorite numbers is “A New Argentina” which is the end of the first act.    If you’ve only seen the movie, take a minute and watch this highlight from the 1980 Tony Awards with Patti Lupone as Eva Peron.

 

It’s a great piece of theatre which I think was overly modulated and homogenized for the movie.    So homogenized in fact I still refer to the cheesy celluloid version as “Velveeta.”

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Yeah, I know the window is dirty.  What’s your point?

Now from the don’t say I didn’t tell you department!   East Hampton Village Beach passes for the Summer of ’18 are almost gone!   According to agents at village hall only about 200 of the 3100 permits still remain.  If you can’t make it out here you can go online andtake your chances and mail in your application.   Click here for the details.    Just remember if you don’t have a pass some select beaches will be selling daily passes, so you won’t be totally out of luck.   But here is a better idea, you can get a bike and pedal there AND save about $40 by skipping the SoulCycle class.   But what fun would that be?  Nobody will get to see how good you look in your new Lululemon outfit!

 

 

DKSH & GOOP TOO! THE HARBOR GETS A CELEBRITY INFLUX …. PLUS THE ART OF STAGING!

 

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Tutto Il Giorno – Coming soon to Sag Harbor

While the weather outside is still a loooooong way from summer, things are apparently heating up in Sag Harbor.    The big gossip? That the site of the former restaurant Muse will soon be a new outpost for DKNY and her daughter’s Tutto Il Giorno restaurant.    Apparently the designer with the garlic touch is close to inking a deal to buy the building next to the laundromat and Yummilicious for a little under $6 million bucks.   The space which also has a small retail space to the side will also be the future home of the retail store Urban Zen which according to their own facebook page features, “A philosophy of living inspired by Donna Karan. “I have spent decades dressing people. Now I want to address them.”  I swear it says that!   You can’t make this stuff up!   But what ever you think, the food at Tutto rocks!  Good news for the Harbor.

 

 

Switching now to really annoying quotes from rich people.   Everyone’s least favorite celebrity, Goop will be moving into the site currently occupied by Urban Zen on Bay St.   My head already hurts form this news.  I really hope it’s just gossip but I do believe my sources.    Yes, Gwyneth Paltrow the woman who claims she learned about discrimination from donning a fat suit in Shallow Hal is coming to Sag Harbor.    OH! She also said with a straight face “being on set is more difficult than being an ordinary working mom.” Yes, that Oscar winning cultural guru is bringing her absurdly priced retail items to the Hamptons again (Amagansett dodged the bullet ).     Oh joy!    I don’t know what to say.  In one year we lose Conca d’Oro and instead get the woman responsible for these pearls of wisdom.  Insert crying, eye-rolling, sick, laughing emoji here!

 

goop
“The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the American’s. – GP

Well enough about celebrity real estate and let’s talk about real real estate.  Like what to do to help you get that house sold!  Recently I brought my friend Susan Beard who is a local designer and stager to help me with this listing here.   It was no easy task but she was up to the challenge and helped the owners and me bring this East Hampton home from shab to fab (insert eye roll emoji here).    Seriously though, she did a great job.

 

 

If you want to contact Susan about helping you sell or design advice, e mail her at susan.beard@gmail.com

 

 

 

MY HOLIDAY GIFT TO YOU! PLUS HARVEY AND THE HAMPTONS!

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This is what a plane looks like.  flyfrontier.com

I know the weather outside is getting more and more frightful.   In fact, the thought of shoveling driveways, cold wet feet and darkness at 3:30pm has you completely depressed and overwhelmed.    I know!  I know… I feel you!   But before you call the doctor to “up” your daily dosage of “vitamin Z” (zoloft), read this blog.     It will bring you comfort and joy.   DISCLAIMER: please don’t go off your meds folks, while I’m a joy for my family and at least 2 of my friends, my suggestions here are not meant to be any sort of medical diagnosis so put down the phone.   Jacoby & Myers have more important lawsuits pending.

Ok, so what’s my advice to put sunshine back in your life?    Go visit flyfrontier.com and book yourself a flight to the sunshine state for as little as $35 dollars!   Yes, you heard that right.    For about the same cost as taking the jitney to midtown, you can instead haul you butts to Islip Airport (the easiest airport on the planet) hop on a plane and be in West Palm Beach, Miami or Ft. Myers in about 3 hours.    So, the ride is about the same amount of time as a jitney as well.    I will tell you the flights are no frills and you must pay for any additional baggage (checked, carry-on and emotional).    In fact, while I was writing this I just got a quote for a flight from Islip to West Palm in January

for $108 round trip!  Now, that doesn’t include taxes or my baggage from growing up as the youngest of 6 in suburban New Jersey.       From what I gathered, these rates will likely go up in the not too distant future but in the meantime stop complaining about the weather!

If you’re not lucky enough to have the time or ability to hop on a flight to Florida and are instead heading to the Hamptons, you’re not alone.     I call it the “Hurricane Harvey.” Because, for the first time ever, I had multiple rental inquiries for the week between Christmas and New Years!    I’m not sure why Mr. Weinstein’s exploits have convinced peopl

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This is what a food truck looks like!

e to “staycation” this holiday season but it’s kind of weird considering we also had a hurricane of the same name wipe out more than a few resorts in the Caribbean.      Word to the wise here, if you’re planning on being out here the week between the holidays and want to go out to eat, MAKE RESERVATIONS!   It’s going to be crowded.     It’s traditionally a busy week but a few of my restaurant buddies have said reservations are up over last year.

 

Speaking of eating out.   I mean really eating out.  Like outside …. in the cold…

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This is what a taco looks like!

OUTSIDE.    You might have noticed a food truck recently on the grounds of the Milk Pail in Water Mill.    For those of you not brave enough to stop, I’ve done some snooping for you and discovered it’s a taco truck.   It’s called AJI Authentic Mexican Food.   Ok, they have more than tacos and the food is pretty good.   The hours seem to have a lot to do with if the weather is good and traffic wasn’t too heavy.    So if you’re driving east, see the truck and have a hankering for a good taco, burrito or nachos stop by.     It’s not the best you’ll ever have but it won’t disappoint and it’s kinda fun!