I’m sorry but I’m confused.   This past Winter sucked… tons of snow… tons of cold…. a loooooong winter and yet “the ticks are worse than ever!”   I thought if we had a cold winter then the tick population would be smaller.   They froze right?!  But now, I keep hearing the ticks are worse this year because we had a cold winter!  My head is hurting.  This is more head ache inducing than watching Madonna act…. the same bad actress who apparently doesn’t like paying taxes for her Hamptons spread!! Hmmmmmm.


But I digress, Recently I got an e mail from a Mr. Richard Feder from Fort Lee, NJ who writes.   “Dear Hamptons Chatter, So what’s the real deal on the ticks this year?   Which kind of tick just bit me?  Do I have Lyme disease or Lime disease? How do I remove a tick?   Is it really worse this year than last year?   What can I do to help keep ticks away?”     Well Mr. Feder, you ask a lot of gross questions that I don’t want to answer. So instead, I’m suggesting you go visit the University of Rhode Island’s website  There you’ll find the answers to everything you wanted to know about ticks that I found too gross to answer.   One thing they do say on the site is that it is indeed worse this year than last year because of the cold.  Uggghhhhh.  Anyway, from the site… some good advice for parents….

Another thing about the East End that I also find puzzling is the name of some of the streets out here. I mean it’s the Hamptons!   Shouldn’t all the streets have beautiful and idyllic names?   Well that’s my point.   If you’re a home owner on one of these following streets, I suggest you get together with your neighbors and push for a name change.   Not only might it help improve property values, it might also look a lot better on your next holiday card’s return address.    In no particular order by the way here are some streets that could benefit from a name change.*

Prime location… questionable name!

Swamp Road -EH- As my friend Bill Mccuddy says, “only in the Hamptons will people pay $2 million to live on a road called Swamp.”     My suggestion is to rename this Cedar Vista Way.    Isn’t that better?!

Widow Gavits Road -Sag Harbor- OMG… really?   So sad.   How about we call it, “New Chapter Lane.”   I mean no disrespect to Mr. Gavits but don’t you think it’s time she moves on?

You named a street after him?

Van Houton Street – Southampton (Riverhead) – They named a street after Millhouse?  The geeky kid?!  How about Bart Boulevard instead.  It still has that comic appeal but less nerdy!

Mount Misery – Sag Harbor – Put on the Barry Manilow albums and get me a razor blade!  It’s actually a really nice street and close to Sag Harbor Village  But oh that name!!   So what to do? Let’s rename it Fallon Way… after Jimmy Fallon!  My favorite Hamptons celebrity who seems to always be happy and friendly to everyone!  OK, how do we start this petition!?

Dead Trail – Southampton – It’s located right off of Bridies path…. so why not call it Groomies path? Everyone loves a bride and groom.  It’s a good location and surrounded by trees but what a bummer of a name.  Although it’s a perfect location during Halloween!  Insert scary laugh here!

*not sure if it will really help values but hopefully you got a good chuckle.


  1. Milhouse Van Houten was actually named after Leslie Van Houten, from the Manson Family. (Also Richard Nixon's middle name.)

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