So today is now something everyone is calling “CyberMonday.” It’s the day that retailers are promoting as the next best thing for the economy since “Black Friday.” It’s the day where America forgets about heading to the mall and instead logs onto their computers and shops! What a nice thing, right?! No fighting over parking or dealing with store employees who are trying to work scanners or fixing there mistakes as they wait for a manager with a “key!” Instead you just go online click a button and voila! Let’s just hope you don’t have a problem. Everyone keeps talking about scam websites. Also, what if it doesn’t fit or its defective!? Yikes, the next thing you know you’re on the phone with “Tiffany” in Mumbai and the problem just got worse!
We all love the internet but it’s a dangerous place and real estate agent’s aren’t immune from all of this either! Take this case in point… I’m minding my own business the other evening, shopping online…. wondering where in the world they find the models for L.L Bean! They all look like my grade school gym teachers (what a great insult! “You could be a model… for L.L. Bean) when I get an e mail for an offer on one of the properties I’m selling. Here it is:
I will offer of $485,000.00 for the home. Please send me the contract for me to sign and return immediately this will be my retirement home and it will be a cash buy
1. I will want to close on 22nd December, 2010
2. I want to put down $5,000.00 Earnest money
3. $120,000.00 will be applied towards the closing balance
4. I want to put contingency on inspection on the contract.
My legal name is Jirou Hayashi of 2000 Sheppard Avenue, Toronto Ontario Canada M3N 2J1 and I am single, I will not be in Canada before the closing date to wire the funds to the attorney so I will advice you to send me an attorney information for a check to be drawn to give enough time for check clearance since I won’t be in Canada to wire funds for closing.
Please forward to me a purchase contract agreement in DocuSign format, DocuSign format is an electronic way of signing document. I am presently in a remote Japanese city and will not be able to access any documents in pdf because of no access to printing and scanning machines please note this.
My account manager Mr. Abraham Jacob will Issue payment in US Funds $155,000.00USD for 5,000.00, the will be for earnest money, second deposit of $120,000.00 and the remaining $360,000.00 will be disbursed accordingly.
My rep Mr. Abraham Jacob Esq. can be reach at: 1-647-862-1135, I strongly advice that I need an attorney to represent my interest in this transaction, my lawyer can pay to seller or title company so therefore I would like to deposit all payment with the lawyer.
Please I need the following information for your attorney immediately for payment
Law Firm Name……………………………………………
Law Firm Address……………………………………………….
Law Firm Telephone………………………………………………
What a nice man! He has to be real! His prose sounds like he’s bad with English… like written menu at a certain restaurant I frequented in the city AND he wants an inspection!!! He has to be real! I didn’t even have to show him the house! Ohhhh… if it’s too good to be true maybe it isn’t!?
So I google the attorney’s name and apparently Jirou has been making offers from Florida to California! Go ahead, you do it! On TRULIA.COM there were postings with essentially the same letter I received over and over and over and over again. In fact one poor broker wrote about how her sellers already started moving out of the house!!
Apparently it’s some sort of fishing scam where they acquire information on the seller and then use that to apply for credit cards, loans, etc. Bummer too, I had already spent the money on The Motorized Monocycle from Hammacher Schlemmer!!! ( http://bit.ly/h7rPy9 ) At least there is no gruff looking model like L.L. Bean. Sadness ensued.
Anyway, I’m not alone in the Hamptons. I mentioned this in an e mail to some agents and got back 4 or 5 e mails where Jirou was buying their listing too! Once again, mom was right, if it’s too good to be true it usually is just that! But she also told me I could grow up one day and become an L.L. Bean model. Hmmmmm what was she trying to tell me!?
One last thing! I saw the new musical WOMEN ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. It’s been eviscerated by the critics but you know what? It was actually a really enjoyable show! Patti LuPone, Brian Stokes Mitchell and Sheree Renee Scott headline a quirky, ambitious and fun show. I loved the movie version and I think the show, (although the music is lacking) is a worthy follow up. I thought BILLY ELLIOT was awful and it won the TONY! Once again, what do I know.