Three little bears, rentals and summer tales… and a few reminders for the tenants!!!

If only tenants were funny like John Candy!
While I don’t consider Memorial Day Weekend the true D-day for summer rentals.  That day is of course the first Friday of August. It does sometimes get a bit hairy for everybody.  So how do I know? Well as we all know brokers and agents love to tell  war stories.  So, I’ve been collecting some tales while buying martinis or Malbacs.   Believe me it’s worth it and the stories are quite entertaining.

In vino or vodka veritas!   Although I’ve personally had nothing but smooth sailing with all of my landlords and tenants (Is my nose bigger?) this year, I’ll be happy to share with you some of my favorite anecdotes … so far… from the summer of 2013!

Now, this doesn’t seem very comfy does it?
Yes,the traditional “tenant goes to the wrong house” I heard happened again this year.  Although unlike previous tales where there was a key indeed hidden in the fake rock by the side door, nobody actually moved into the wrong location!   Somebody ate my porridge .. slept in my bed and ordered something on my pay per view account!!!
Ah, that’s nothing compared to what one agent told me.   Let’s call this agent “Ted.”  Well being the good agent he is Ted went to meet his tenants with a bottle of champagne (darn, there is a lot of drinking in the Hamptons) as they moved into their new summer rental.  Well when hewent to check on the house, not only did Goldilocks sleep in the bed she liked it so much she took it with her!  Yes, that’s right.    Ted had bedlam because of not one but two missing beds.  Apparently the landlord had decided to throw out some saggy mattresses but forgot to replace them!   OOOPS!   Luckily tragedy was avoided since there are like 20 Sleepy’s from Southampton to Amagansett.

Finally, this is an oldie but a goodie.   Nobody decided to clean up after the bears left the cottage! The house keeper didn’t show??!?  shocking!   OOOOPS AGAIN!   Luckily in this case the agent was a good sport and ran home to their house to get a vacuum cleaner and some clean sheets.  The crisis was averted and everyone lived happily ever after …or at least until they got stuck in traffic on 27 Monday afternoon (I heard 4 hours E. Hampton to the city!).

Well last year, I did a little video for Elliman about what to expenses to anticipate for summer rentals.   It’s on You Tube but didn’t get posted anywhere for people to find it.  So, I am once again posting (with a little Hamptons Chatter Intro) this video reminder of what tenants should expect when they rent in the Hamptons.  Feel free to use this video my fellow agents but next time you’re buying the drinks!

Southampton permits are now on Sale… and a peek at some of those MILLION DOLLAR HAMPTONS RENTALS!

Get cha’ permits!

REMINDER OF THE DAY!  Southampton Village beach permits are now on sale!!  The cost is free for residents, $350 for non residents and $250 for “local non-residents.”   What you need;  a valid registration for your car and for locals a copy of your tax bill or lease with 2 utility bills.   This will allow you access to park at Coopers Beach, Cryder Lane, Dune Beach (village residents only), Fowler, Gin Lane, Halsey Neck, Roads G and D, Old Town, Wyandanch and Little Plaines Lane.   If you want complete information I suggest you go to the town website.    I’m also including a bonus link to the TOWN of Southampton permit information page!   Oh summer is in the air!

Art is apparently a very good business.   In the latest recorded transfers,

Artist and real estate investor Fischl

artist Eric Fischl has apparently purchased not one, not two, not three but five properties in North Haven.   The properties located in over the river and through the woods total a little over 3 million dollars.   While I have no idea what Fischl and his wife fellow artist April Gornick will be doing with the property located off Ferry Road, I’m dying to know.  If you have any clue fill me in!  Two two have been residents of Sag Harbor for years and both have matching studios here in the Hamptons.

Well It’s May 1st and that means Memorial Day is right around the corner.   In many parts of the country the calendar is marked by the return of various migratory animals.  Here in the Hamptons it’s marked by the migration of the summer renters! In case you didn’t know, the standard rental period for the Hamptons is Memorial Day to Labor Day.  It’s also the time when all of the “masters of the universe” and “glitterati” of tv and film come to rest their weary heads.     Well if you’ve ever wondered how celebrities like Mariah Carey, Beyonce and others live when they’re hanging with Martha, Howard and Puffy… wonder no longer.   I’ve dug deep and come up with some of my favorite MILLION DOLLAR* HAMPTON RENTALS!*or rentals that can at least be priced in terms of millions, i.e. 1/4 of a million, 1/2 million, 8/10ths of a million!


Barking News!!! It’s a doggone good time in the Hamptons!!

Today show reporter Jill Rappaport & friend

I have some “barking news” here!   Two of my favorite Hamptons organizations are getting together in what sounds like a doggone good time!  Bay Street Theatre is partnering with ARF (Animal Rescue Fund of the Hamptons for  the “Travels with Charley” Dog Walk on Saturday, May 4th at 8:30 am!   Today show host and dog advocate Jill Rappaport will be there as host.   The walk will start at Haven’s Beach in Sag Harbor and finish at Bay Street Theatre.   There will be a “Bagels and Bones” reception immediately after the walk.  I’ll be there because Bella and Russell love bagels!
The walk is obviously a fundraiser that will  cover 5k or a little over 3 miles with a $25 entrance fee.  There will also be a GRAND PRIZE to the person who raises the most money!  Now, just know I will website and ARF’s website.
be the one who raises the most.  YOU GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH THAT?!   If your interested in hanging with Bella, Russell, Jill Rappaport and me you can get more info from Bay Street theatre on their website.
Now it’s a good time to paws and get the latest news on Hamptons real estate as Douglas Elliman released it’s latest “Elliman Report: Hamptons Sales 1Q 2013.”   As you’ve been hearing the market has been brisk the past few months and the new market report confirms it.    2013 started at a rapid pace tail end of the year.   If you want more details you can download a copy of the report from Douglas Elliman.

Finally, some have a bone to pick with the Hamptons and the fact it’s just gotten too darn expensive out here!  Recently I had a chance to sit down with my friend author Stephen Gaines and LTV host and Southampton Press editor Dawn Watson about the state of the Hamptons economy.  Take a look and in the meantime, I’ll stop hounding you with my horrible puns!


It’s that time of year, Beach Permits are selling like hot cakes… again!!! Plus, bracing for the rude Hamptons!

Yep, the snow just melted but already we’re fast approaching the end of the line for the most prized posession of Summer 2013!  I’m of course talking about East Hampton Village Beach permits.   While the price has risen to $375.00 for this coming season, that hasn’t stopped the rush.    While town permits for East Hampton Town and Southampton Village and Town beach permits are unlitmited and they don’t run out, EHV sells about 3000.    As of today, there are only about 300 or so permits left.   So, if you’re curious how to get a permit and where you can use them, click here.   That means there are only about 10% left, sadly I had to use a calculator to figure that out.    So unless you want to bike to beach after that Fly Wheel spin class you better hurry!!!

So, while Summer is right around the corner that got me to thinking is it really that bad out here during the season?  I mean are the lines at the Golden Pear any longer … are the waiters and waitresses less patient… is the parking lot at King Kullen any less aggressive?   Well in my 3rd and final chat with author Steven Gaines and film reviewer and stand up comic Bill McCuddy we addressed the very nature of Hamptons culture… RIGHT OR RUDE!?  Which also happens to be the name of Bill’s new web page and facebook fan page.   Check it out and let me know what you think.