An Ode to Spring and some Food Fodder for the East End!

Well some good news for those who love a good steak or a great juicy burger.  Sag Harbor’s venerable favorite Cromer’s Meat Market is setting up shop in the Hamptons Market on Race Lane.   In case you’re not aware, they also provide meats to more than a dozen restaurants on the East End.  So you know they’re pretty good.   Signs in the market indicate it will be opening today (March 21st).     If you remember, there hasn’t been a butcher there since before the market suffered from a fire and forced renovation about a year ago.   A nice ode to spring unless of course you’re a cow!

Meanwhile, sometimes a name change is just a name change   The former Agave in Bridgehampton… which is not to be confused with the old Agave in Sag Harbor or the current Agave in Westhampton… has changed its name to Mercado.  According to their website, this is due to the constant confusion with the other said restaurants.  Now, I know and I have heard the criticism that this place is the worst thing to happen to Mexican food since The Blue Parrot but I disagree.   The food is actually pretty good.   I’ve gone in a few times and tried the fajitas, burritos, chips, guacamole, salads, margaritas and more.  All were pretty standard and actually better than any other Mexican restaurant (other than LaFondita) in the Hamptons.   The only thing that drove me to drink after my dinner was the fact the service was the equivalent of being water boarded.    But hey it’s the most edible Mexican menu with eat in service in town.    I have a few friends who actually like La Superica in Sag Harbor, but I’ll to reserve judgment for now and try again when they open for the season. If you’re a person who loves new places and things, you’ve more than likely visited Trip Advisor.  You know the place where every day folks let you know what they think of this hotel or that restaurant.   For example, if you want a good chuckle read the reviews on Blue Parrot.    Well I recently logged onto the site and I noticed something a little odd.  The “East End Eating Disorder Center” is apparently seeking reviews on the site. While, I’m not so sure if this is a good idea, I can assure you there will be no middle ground.  My guess is most of the reviews are either the portions are too large or in fact too small.  Now, I’m not making fun of eating disorders but you have to admit, this is weird.  Besides if people are eating too much it’s just as easy to take them to Blue Parrot.

Speaking of weird, do you remember that WALK OF SHAME kit that Svedka Vodka produced a few summers ago?  Well with out going into detail, you can click here.  I’m sure the folks at this summer rental had these kits in abundance.    And you thought your summer renters were bad!

UPDATE: It looks like the Cromer’s move is a few days off.   Look for the opening this weekend.

Date Night Advice in the Hamptons and the Best Burger!?

So a few years ago, I did a posting about how when it comes to dating, where you go can tell you a lot about the person.   It’s also a good guide to picking the right location for someone who is truly special.  Well as we all know, it’s always changing here on the East End with new restaurants and some of the old favorites.  So here is my updated 2012 dating guide for Hamptons restaurants.  This is more geared towards the ladies but guys, use it as a guide as well.   Perhaps you can make a better impression on your next blind date.

Restaurant: Nick and Toni’s , The Palm or East Hampton Grill

What does it say: If it’s on a Friday or Saturday night.. it means they have connections. They’re also not short on cash and willing to go head to head with some of the biggest attitudes in the Hamptons. If they order the zucchini chips (N&T) onion rings (Palm) or buttermilk biscuits (EHG) they’re daring… not afraid of calories because they’ll be at the gym in the morning. It also says, they really know the menu. If the bartenders or waitresses know them by first name, they’re generous and good tippers. They deserve a least a second date or to go a few bases. If you’re date is on a Sunday or prixe-fixe night, it’s up to your discretion.

Additional Advice: My advice hasn’t changed much since last time on these, avoid topics or conversations dealing with the following: ex-wives, alimony or investing with Bernie Madoff.  Notably missing from this list is the American Hotel which I think has truly earned it’s reputation as the wax museum of the Hamptons.   If you go on a date there, you’re probably double dating with someones parents and as Whoopi said in GHOST, “you’re in danger girl!”

Restaurant: Players Club & Agave (Bridgehampton)

What does it say: Chances are your date is a summer renter here in the Hamptons. They’re still new to the scene so if you’re waiting for that invitation to Gwyneth’s or Sarah Jessica Parker’s forget it. If this is a first date, finish the evening and change your cell number. You can do better.  Besides, if it were in the city you know they’d be taking you to Scores or El Torito!

Additional Advice: Avoid topics relating to home ownership in the Hamptons, real estate, St. Barth’s at Christmas and flying coach versus first class.

Restaurant: 1770 House

What does it say: Your date obviously knows some of the hidden treasures of the Hamptons. It also says, they’re willing to go to a quiet place and they’re not afraid to hold a conversation with you.  You’re date is likely confident and not afraid to spend a little extra for something special. Now, I want to be clear we’re talking about the upstairs restaurant here… if you end up in the downstairs pub it only says one thing to me; THEY’RE MARRIED!

Additional Advice: If your upstairs you can pretty much discuss anything, they obviously are open and willing to talk. If your DOWNSTAIRS avoid discussing wives, mistresses, explaining difficult things to children and commuting to the city from Nassau County.

Restaurant: Almond

What does it say: If it’s Friday night and he’s taking you to Almond, he’s gay! If you already knew he was gay… then just enjoy he probably knows a lot of people.

Additional Advice: If it’s Saturday, I’m not quite sure what to do but I think you’ve done ok. If it’s Friday and your on a hetero date… avoid topics like musicals, football and closets. It will only make you both uncomfortable.

My last note today and probably the most obvious!

Restaurant: Cyril’s or Murph’s Tavern

What does it say: People go to Cyril’s and Murph’s for one reason; to drink!  If someone actually takes you there on a date it could be they’re  fresh out of rehab or about to go! I would also be suspect of everyone your date just said hello to, odds are they’re tomorrow’s date! If you drove separately (hopefully you did) pretend to get a text message and leave immediately to deal with a “personal issue.”

Additional Advice: Avoid such topics as binge drinking, rehab, STD’s, sobriety or monogamy!  Also having the number for a cab service in speed dial will be really helpful!

If like last time,  today’s blog offends anyone.. I apologize, it was written with a sense of humor. But remember, there’s a little bit of truth in every jest!  Finally, a little poll…. Who has the best burger in the Hamptons.   I’ve asked a few folks and these five seem to be the frontrunners.    Remember to vote early and often!


Why some people just hate the Hamptons Buzz!

Well it’s been a few weeks since I sat down and blogged but I’m back after a brief hiatus. It was the end of the summer here and I just needed some time to breathe and enjoy the east end. The crazy crowds are gone and the planes, helicopters and sea planes have gone south for the winter. Speaking of the air traffic. A group of local citizens are calling themselves the “QUIET SKIES COALITION.” Their mission is to do something about the ever increasing air traffic on the east end. According the group summer traffic at East Hampton Airport is about the same as Islip! Which according to the group is all the more absurd because it’s a “FAA UNCONTROLLED AIRPORT” subject to no local regulation. Considering the volume they have, they believe it’s a disaster waiting to happen or at the very least get worse. There is also some concern about the property values of those who lie in the path of these planes and Sikorsky helicopters. Anyway, if you want more information about the Quiet Skies Coalition you can e mail them at or visit the website

Meanwhile, most of this summer I have avoided the new Mexican restaurant Agave in Bridgehampton. Well I’ve since gone their twice and I will say the talk about it is a little unfair. While it’s not Rosa Mexicana, it is a definite improvement over the food at Blue Parrot. The chips were freshly fried, the service friendly and responsive. I’ve tried the enchiladas and the fajitas at Agave and I’ll say both were pretty good. The chicken fajitas were my personal favorite and were perfectly done with a generous portion. So while I can’t say you should run to Agave, I will say if you want a casual night out with some good Mexican food head there and just enjoy it for what it is… a decent night out in the Hamptons.

It’s a tale of two tacos and a little shoe business!

Well the hustling and bustling continues with all of the shops and restaurants on the East End as the countdown continues to the Memorial Day Weekend. One of the more industrious projects seems to be taking place at the site of the former Almond and Woodshed Inn. According to a source, permits were made with the town to turn the location into a sports bar and Mexican restaurant. It is allegedly being done by a group from up the island and they plan to name the place “AGAVE.” There was some environmental issues that needed to be worked out and that’s how I was alerted. Now, if that name sounds familiar yes, there is one in the city on lower 7th Avenue and there was also one in Sag Harbor. I don’t think this particular venue will have any affiliation with the aforementioned businesses but at the very least it can’t be any worse than BLUE PARROT (Bon Jovi’s place). So, will the Hamptons finally get good Mexican food? Stay tuned!

Now, since I’ve mentioned it to a few folks the constant question seems to be.. “what’s a Mexican – sports bar?” It’s a place with Tacos and TV sets… or maybe just burritos. Who knows!

Finally, I got my shoes back from Dutch Girl Cleaners at the King Kullen in Bridehampton. They did a really good job! They rep laced the soles on my driving shoes and polished and fixed two others. All in all a big thumbs up. So yes Virginia, you can get a decent shoe repair in the Hamptons!