Date Night Advice in the Hamptons and the Best Burger!?

So a few years ago, I did a posting about how when it comes to dating, where you go can tell you a lot about the person.   It’s also a good guide to picking the right location for someone who is truly special.  Well as we all know, it’s always changing here on the East End with new restaurants and some of the old favorites.  So here is my updated 2012 dating guide for Hamptons restaurants.  This is more geared towards the ladies but guys, use it as a guide as well.   Perhaps you can make a better impression on your next blind date.

Restaurant: Nick and Toni’s , The Palm or East Hampton Grill

What does it say: If it’s on a Friday or Saturday night.. it means they have connections. They’re also not short on cash and willing to go head to head with some of the biggest attitudes in the Hamptons. If they order the zucchini chips (N&T) onion rings (Palm) or buttermilk biscuits (EHG) they’re daring… not afraid of calories because they’ll be at the gym in the morning. It also says, they really know the menu. If the bartenders or waitresses know them by first name, they’re generous and good tippers. They deserve a least a second date or to go a few bases. If you’re date is on a Sunday or prixe-fixe night, it’s up to your discretion.

Additional Advice: My advice hasn’t changed much since last time on these, avoid topics or conversations dealing with the following: ex-wives, alimony or investing with Bernie Madoff.  Notably missing from this list is the American Hotel which I think has truly earned it’s reputation as the wax museum of the Hamptons.   If you go on a date there, you’re probably double dating with someones parents and as Whoopi said in GHOST, “you’re in danger girl!”

Restaurant: Players Club & Agave (Bridgehampton)


What does it say: Chances are your date is a summer renter here in the Hamptons. They’re still new to the scene so if you’re waiting for that invitation to Gwyneth’s or Sarah Jessica Parker’s forget it. If this is a first date, finish the evening and change your cell number. You can do better.  Besides, if it were in the city you know they’d be taking you to Scores or El Torito!

Additional Advice: Avoid topics relating to home ownership in the Hamptons, real estate, St. Barth’s at Christmas and flying coach versus first class.

Restaurant: 1770 House

What does it say: Your date obviously knows some of the hidden treasures of the Hamptons. It also says, they’re willing to go to a quiet place and they’re not afraid to hold a conversation with you.  You’re date is likely confident and not afraid to spend a little extra for something special. Now, I want to be clear we’re talking about the upstairs restaurant here… if you end up in the downstairs pub it only says one thing to me; THEY’RE MARRIED!

Additional Advice: If your upstairs you can pretty much discuss anything, they obviously are open and willing to talk. If your DOWNSTAIRS avoid discussing wives, mistresses, explaining difficult things to children and commuting to the city from Nassau County.

Restaurant: Almond

What does it say: If it’s Friday night and he’s taking you to Almond, he’s gay! If you already knew he was gay… then just enjoy he probably knows a lot of people.

Additional Advice: If it’s Saturday, I’m not quite sure what to do but I think you’ve done ok. If it’s Friday and your on a hetero date… avoid topics like musicals, football and closets. It will only make you both uncomfortable.

My last note today and probably the most obvious!

Restaurant: Cyril’s or Murph’s Tavern

What does it say: People go to Cyril’s and Murph’s for one reason; to drink!  If someone actually takes you there on a date it could be they’re  fresh out of rehab or about to go! I would also be suspect of everyone your date just said hello to, odds are they’re tomorrow’s date! If you drove separately (hopefully you did) pretend to get a text message and leave immediately to deal with a “personal issue.”

Additional Advice: Avoid such topics as binge drinking, rehab, STD’s, sobriety or monogamy!  Also having the number for a cab service in speed dial will be really helpful!

If like last time,  today’s blog offends anyone.. I apologize, it was written with a sense of humor. But remember, there’s a little bit of truth in every jest!  Finally, a little poll…. Who has the best burger in the Hamptons.   I’ve asked a few folks and these five seem to be the frontrunners.    Remember to vote early and often!

 

Sometimes it feels a little backwards… but thank goodness for these 5 in 2011!

I was thinking back to last year and some of the happenings in the Hamptons, and I found myself dividing them into some of the best and worst moves on the east end (no, this has nothing to do with dancing). It was interesting to think about it…and as I did a recent incident kept coming to mind. While in Manhattan last week I met a former East End resident who referred to living out here like living in “Hooterville.” While I laughed, I have to disagree, there are enough good things going on out here to make us feel more like “Petticoat Junction!”

#5 – HARBORFROST – Kudos to Sag Harbor resident Benito Villa for picking up the stick so many have dropped before and putting together something to brighten the dull month of February in the Hamptons! From ice sculpting to fireworks and the Polar Bear Plunge, Sag Harbor was the place to be for that chilly wet weekend. Shops and restaurants were packed and it gave us all a little fun to go outdoors during those dark days of winter. If only they turned that PB Plunge into a hard bodies PB plunge, now that would be a ton more fun to watch. Yes, I know I couldn’t be included in that!

#4 LT Burger – Finally a good burger joint with great shakes and no attitude opens in the Hamptons. Restaurateur and chef Laurent Tourondel, who is behind some of the most successful steak joints in the country went out on his own and opened this new Sag Harbor favorite. It proves once again, if you know what you’re doing in the Hamptons they will come and find you! Hint to that other burger place, maybe you should have actually had restaurant experience!

#3 K-Mart’s MYGOFER.COM – While I never in my life ever thought I would be such a fan of K-Mart, I have to say their GOFER.COM is a god send on those busy summer weekends. It’s a simple as going to their website and ordering what you need online. Then VIOLA! It arrives at your doorstep, presto agitato! So to me, KMART does not suck! Take that Mr. Rain Man!

#2 East Hampton Patch – www.easthampton.patch.com – Editor Taylor Vecsey has put together a smart, well organized and informative website for the Hamptons! It’s one of the few I regularly read and my favorite website…. well next to this clever blog of course!

#1 The East Hampton Grill – What LT Burger understood and made them successful, the EH Grill/Hillstone group brought to a whole other level. If you serve people good food, with great service in a comfortable setting, they will wait and deal with pushy crowds to eat there! Since the day they opened and even now in December, it’s the hardest reservation to get in the Hamptons. But unlike some other “hamptons hot spots,” you don’t have to grease the staff to get a table or friendly service. My only complaint is they don’t have the company signature dish of Spinach Dip at this location. Although that may now be a good thing, I want to be able to wear a Speedo at this year’s HarborFrost Polar Bear Plunge!

OK those are my top 5 for the Hamptons this 2011! Tomorrow it’s the five biggest mistakes from the past year! Yeah, I know this blog should be one of them