IF YOU WANT TO GET INVITED BACK FOR SUMMER 2020?

A few years ago, I gave some homeowners the ultimate guide (click here) to getting rid of those guests that just can’t take a hint.    You know the types, that turn a two day invitation into a living hell only to discuss extending their stay!   Well, today’s blog isn’t about how to get them to leave,  it’s about giving them parameters for being invited next summer!   Yep print this out and leave it on the dresser or send this blog link with a wink and a nod and say, “but you know I don’t mean YOU!”

So here you go, my attempt at preventing animosity, hurt feelings, bruised egos…

keebler elf
I don’t work in the Hamptons!

and most of all bloodshed.  This is the ultimate Hamptons chatter guide for  houseguests on HOW TO GET INVITED BACK!

1- Pick up your dishes!  The sink isn’t magic and those dishes you leave in the sink don’t get rinsed and put into the dishwasher by a group of unemployed Keebler elves.

This means your coffee cups, wine glasses, bagel dishes and jam crusted knives need YOU  to rinse them off and put them into the dishwasher!   If the said washer is dirty and the housekeeper has the day off, here’s a great way to earn brownie points… empty the thing!!!

2- Don’t use a new towel every ten minutes!    Most of us don’t have a full time staff or an unlimited supply of bath and beach towels.     One of the biggest complaints I hear from Hamptons homeowners is when guests go through the linen closet booty like tissue paper.

Try limiting your use to one beach/pool towel and one bath towel.   Unless you’re helping with the lawn or cleaning my septic tank, odds are you can hang your towels and reuse the next day!

3-Don’t drink (or eat) more than you bring –  If you bring one bottle of Boone’s Farm Blue Hawaiian wine feel free to drink it and offer your host a glass.  Do not take said Blue Hawaiian put it on a shelf and then proceed to drink all of my Sancerre.  That’s just not nice!    Buy a nice bottle of wine anytime you visit the Hamptons … it’s the right thing to do.  Also, if you plan on going on a bender, it’s a good idea to make it a case.

4- No fighting –  You might not think this needs to be mentioned but believe you me…. it’s worth bringing up.     If you want to be a good guest don’t fight with the hosts, don’t fight with the other guests and don’t fight with your companion.    This means avoid drinking too much, don’t talk about politics and religion and don’t be cranky.   Always remember, you got invited because your hosts enjoy your company…. be enjoyable!

5- If you’re in a bad mood or don’t feel like socializing don’t come!   Yes, most Hamptons homes have wi-fi.  Yes,  the guest rooms are comfortable.   Yes, most have central air.   But if that’s an excuse for staying in your room all day, why are you even there!!!!????     Stay in the city or check into a Holiday Inn express… you’ll feel smarter!

6 – Eat in the Kitchen – Do you do that at your own home?   Do not take Toasted Coconut Entenmann Donuts without a napkin into the bedroom or anywhere else around the house.    Also, eating your chicken salad sandwich with a side of guac and chips in the pool and hot tub is kind of a faux pas.

7- Wear clothes around the house –  I know.   I didn’t think this needed mentioning TOO but butts aren’t always good.   Especially if you’re sitting in someone’s living room.    But  then again if you look like a supermodel….

Now excuse me, as I wrap up this blog.  I’ll now get off my soapbox and put some of that soap in the washer and start cleaning more of your towels.

Happy Holidays! On Damark’s… get set… go!

Woah!  It’s been a few months since I sat down and pounded away the word salad known as Hamptons Chatter.     Tons going on and I haven’t been there for you.   Maybe, I’m just feeling vulnerable since the media has been under such scrutiny lately.  I mean the last thing in the world I need is to come under attack via an early morning tweet!  Yes, I’ve heard this blog is one of the favorites of you know who!

Anyway, in the time it took me to write a new piece, Damark’s Deli has been looking primed for business since mid-summer.   But alas every morning after your coffee,  reading the NY Times followed by Dan’s Behind The Hedges you came to Hamptons IMG_0458Chatter only to be disappointed that it’s still the same old post.    I know!  You IMG_0457 2paused, and said to your self, “self at least Damark’s deli is opening soon!”    But you were disappointed in that too!   Well you can finally call the doctor and reduce your meds,  I’m back and Damark’s Deli is finally reopened!!!   So how is it?   Meh.  It’s a supermarket.  They sell food.   They have coffee too.  Oh, something that is new… they now have brick oven pizza.   It’s no Citarealla but on the upside it’s no Stop and Shop!     I will say it’s bright, spacious, clean and probably a big plus for anyone in Springs.   (notice I didn’t call it “The Springs).   Hours and information are available on their website and in case you were wondering they’ve been around since 1949.     The same year that Hamptons Chatter started!

Speaking of food or actually not speaking of food… speaking of booze… the Golden Pear in Bridgehampton now has beer and wine!      Prices are pretty much on par with every one else in the Hamptons and the selection is actually pretty good.   Although I was a tad disappointed they didn’t offer any Domaine Leflaive Chevalier Montrachet Grand Cru by the glass it’s pretty awesome that you can now sit down with some beer or vino and eat the best mac and cheese on the east end (seriously).

Finally, I’m making a promise to not leave all of you sad and depressed.  I’m promise I’ll be a better blogger from now on!  By the way… I’m having trouble posting photos.  WTF WordPress!?

 

DISCOUNT DINING ON THE EAST END… PLUS, WHY YOU DON’T HAVE TO WAIT TILL EXIT 70.

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s starting to look a lot like spring in the Hamptons.    Are the trees budding?   Have the lilies bloomed?   NO!   Traffic is picking up.   There are more cars today than there were last weekend and probably more next week.    One of the other rites of spring is also here, “RESTAURANT WEEK.”     From March 26th to April 2nd, a select number of eateries will be celebrating “East End Restaurant Week.”   I’m not sure how this IS different than “Hamptons Restaurant Week”….. but…..  many of the names are similar.   Fresno, Nick and Toni’s and Service Station in East Hampton, Le Charlot and Union Cantina in Southampton and Page, Wolffer Kitchen and Barons Cove in Sag Harbor are a few of the participating eateries.

zuccini chips
Zucchini Chips at N&T’s!

For a complete list of where to chow you can click here for the details. For a complete list of where to chow you can click here for the details.

Speaking of Union Cantina in Southampton..  I recently stopped by for dinner and was pleasantly surprised.   I went when they first opened and was initially underwhelmed.

UNION CANTINA 2
Deconstructed Enchiladas

Luckily, I decided to give them another shot.      You should too.    We started with what I assume are the homemade chips and guacamole,  very solid.   After that,  I had the “deconstructed” enchiladas, house salad and tortilla soup.    All were delicious with a little heat but not overwhelming.      The service was good… not great but good.   It could be that I was there on a snowy night and nobody really felt like working.   I know I didn’t feel like cooking on a snowy night!    We all love a snow day.    Anyway, I would say try for yourself and let me know if you agree.    Oh, the margaritas are definitely worth trying too…. not too sweet with a good kick.

Are we there yet??????  Are we there yet?    Well, I’m already here …. out of the traffic suckas!    But while you haul your buts… or is it butts… out here in the

Whale
This just screams fun!  Unlike Sea World where there are just screams.

next few weeks there’s something new along the LIE!   I know…  excitement on the expressway!   No longer do you need to ignore your kids and spouses and declare they, “hold it in until exit 70.”     You now have the Long Island Visitors at Exit 52!   That nearly 18 exits sooner!!!  Yes, I’m good at math… I took Calculus 101 twice!     Anyway, “THE” answer is yes… they are clean bathrooms.    Plus, they have a a market featuring long island specialties and some fine cups of coffee too.    But for me, I had a whale of a good time just walking into the place (see photo).   It’s almost as fun as Sea World but nobody gets eaten by the giant fish!

 

 

Making Sag Harbor Great Again…. WINSTON’S WENT AND THE SERVICE STATION IS COMING TO TOWN!

It seems everything is heating up these days.  The weather, the politics and the buzz for the latest entry in to making Sag Harbor “THE” place this summer.    First Le Bilboquet and now the Trump organization has staked their claim as they unveiled their logo atop the American Hotel in Sag Harbor earlier this morning. According to the press release that was being handed out by campaign workers and hotel volunteers, “The Trump Organization is here to add some class to this sleepy little town. Hopefully we can get pretty people to come to Sag Harbor… it needs it, right now everyone looks like Ted Cruz and Carly Fiorina.”    The official kick off won’t be for a few months until all of the gilding is finished on the exterior and cherub water fountain placed in the foyer.   “It’s gonna (sic) look classy” said one Trump spokesman.     There are also plans that the current restaurant will be replaced with “Donald’s Big Weiner Hut” specializing in over sized Kobe beef hot dogs.    For more information, you can visit the new hotel website here.     I’m hoping they can just make Sag Harbor great again!

COMING SOON: Service Station

OK, hopefully you clicked the link above and KNOW all the details from above.  In the meantime, some changes are in store for the former Nichols and the ever so briefly named Winston’s.    The East Hampton locale is now being prepped for the upcoming season by SagTown Coffee’s Shane Dyckman and local restaurateur Michael Gluckman.    The “SERVICE STATION” will feature a diverse menu featuring fresh seafood and more contemporary fare such as rock shrimp tacos, steak frites, rotisserie chicken and tuna ceviche.    The goal is to be a casual family friendly establishment for both locals and summer visitors.  The wine selection will also have a wide selection by the glass and starting at $8.    Look for details on the opening date sometime in the next few weeks.  I’ll keep you posted.

Meanwhile, someone who will really help make Sag Harbor great is coming to town.  Rumor has it Drew Barrymore just plopped down a little under $4 million dollars for a home in the village.

No way to tell when she’s actually coming to town but I’m looking forward to seeing my favorite Charlie’s Angel out and about.