Bikini Busters… the 7 deadly sweet and savory sins of Hamptons Dining! Plus it’s a time warp in Sag Harbor this weekend.

In case you missed it, a few weeks ago the Wall Street Journal announced that the Hamptons have gone  healthy.    The opening of the new Juice Lane in Wainscott, Soul Cycle and Tracy Anderson apparently have constituted a trend and now we’re all supposed to look like Brangelina.    Well, not so fast WSJ!   While, I’m not saying they’re going to start serving fried Coca Cola at Nick and Toni’s (look it up, it’s a real thing) there are quite a few pot holes and road blocks on the road to wellness here in the Hamptons.    So, here are my favorites and I hope you find as tempting as I do…

Dangerous territory!

1) Sam’s- East Hampton – It’s the pizza and chicken Parmesan that get me every time.     The cheese is thick on both and the sauce is thick and tasty, just like my mama never made (she was Lithuanian and Irish neither which are known for good cuisine).

2) Round Swamp Farm- East Hampton – What’s not to like?!  The cinnamon buns, the coffee cake, the guacamole, the chicken salad, the chocolate chip cookies…. oh, the list goes on and on your gut!    This place is not where you want to go while dieting.    I dare you to go into there and leave with just one thing!  It’s not going to happen!

3) Dreesen’s Donuts at Scoop Du Jour – East Hampton –  The donuts are freshly made and need I say more!?   It’s deep fried dough with sugar!   You could serve me deep fried wood with sugar and I bet I’d eat it but the dough is a little easier to chew…. fluffier too!

4) Bobby Van’s – Bridgehampton – If you’re allergic to shellfish you may want to avoid the shrimp nachos at Bobby Van’s.  But if you’re not, get ready for a spicy blob of shrimp, chips, jalapenos, guacamole and enough cheese to keep Lipitor profitable for the next century.    Yeah, the Chinese Chicken Salad is good too but for some reason it doesn’t seem as decadent.

Yeah, they look sweet and innocent at Mary’s.

5) Mary’s Marvelous – Amagansett – When Ina Garten shuttered the Barefoot Contessa years ago, I went into a deep depression.  WHERE WILL I BUY MY COCONUT CUPCAKES?!    Yes, I could go buy Ina’s cake mix but that would leave evidence around the house.    Luckily Mary’s is there to fill the void!   Her sandwiches and muffins are great too but it’s the coconut cupcake that is the standout!    If you don’t know my cousins Eileen and GiGi or Ina for some CC’s of lovin’ (as I call them) make sure you go to Mary’s and eat them there.   Coconut shreds are often a dead give away.

6) Fresno – East Hampton –  Tons of good stuff on the menu and a bar/restaurant scene that’s fun and unpretentious is what keeps me going back to this East End staple.    From some of the same people that bring you Red Bar and Beacon this is the closest to my house so I’m a little biased.  I’m also terminally in love with the Sticky Toffee cake desert.   I also drool over their …staff… I mean burgers and fries.   Gosh, I only hope I look attractive in my Sans-a-belt pants with Spanx
when I got there next time!!!?

Fat Free Biscuits at Grill…NOT!

7) The East Hampton Grill – Yeah, I know I write a lot about this place.  I’m the mayor on and yes they know my name ( no, smarty pants I tip well so that’s not the reason!).    The buttermilk biscuits, the ribs and the home made hot fudge (that I think comes with Ice Cream) are all impossible to avoid.  Although I don’t eat them all together at the same time…. hey wait… hot fudge on ribs and buttermilk biscuits on the side… no stop it… wait…

On an entirely different note, they’re having a Soap Box Derby this weekend in Sag Harbor.   The big event will take place this Sunday afternoon on High Street.   The festivities will begin with a parade down Main Street at 1pm (they have a parade for everything in Sag Harbor) followed by the big race on High Street.     While my 25 year old nephew had no clue what a soap box derby was, I proudly told him to keep an eye out for the kids named Spanky McFarland and Alfalfa Switzer.   They’re both heavily favored to win!    There’s still no word if Darla and Petey will be there.

Hello sweeties!!!

So I’ve been in the Hamptons full time now for about 6 years and I’m still sane. While there are some things I don’t miss at all about NYC, the noise, the traffic and Time Warner Cable (“we’ll be there sometime between 8am and 6pm”). One thing I do miss is a good cupcake. I used to live down the street from SOUTINE bakery on W.70th and every now and then would stop by for one of their buttery creamy treats. While they were good, my favorites were always CRUMBS and CUPCAKE CAFE.

Now, I know there is a debate raging about MAGNOLIA BAKERY vs. CUPCAKE CAFE but to me it’s no contest. I prefer buttery over super sugary sweet and CUPCAKE CAFE is the winner. Now, my dilemma… there is no debate over cupcakes going on in the Hamptons there are only two choices. Citarella and Mary’s Marvelous. Yes, there are some from CRUMBS in the city available at Scoop Du Jour but only on weekends and I’m a full-time purist folks!!! But let’s not get off track here!!!

Citarella’s aren’t bad, they’re actually pretty good but they’re not in the same league as the ones from MARY’S MARVELOUS in Amagansett!!! Mary’s cupcakes are the best in town now…. this because Ina Garten shuttered the BAREFOOT CONTESSA a few years ago! But you know Mary’s hold their own. Her coconut cupcakes are my favorite and just as good as Ina’s were back in the day! Now I know Ina now sells here mixes at the grocery store but these confections are always awful! but that’s not Ina’s fault, I cant cook even with a mix!

In short Mary’s cupcakes are indeed MARVELOUS!!! So are her Scones and most everything else in the shop as well. So why am I thinking about cupcakes? Because I’m trying to cut out the carbs and cupcakes are all I can think of! Oh and my cousin Eileen’s home made sticky buns!!! Hello Jenny Craig!