Five Faux Pas of 2011…. or the Scratchiest Head Scratchers of the Year!

Well to every ying, there needs to be a yang… for every Batman there needs to be a Joker…for every East Hampton Patch there is a Hamptons Chatter and for every U2 there needs to be a Justin Bieber. In other words, you have to learn to take the good with the bad. So in response to the good stuff that we had out east last year, there were some less than stellar moments in the Hamptons. So starting with number 5 and going to number 1, I’m counting down the biggest mistakes in the Hamptons, 2011!

#5 The Empty Red Horse Market in East Hampton – What a waste to let a prime piece of Hamptons real estate sit for over a year totally vacant. It was last fall when Tutto Italiano shuttered its doors in this prime location only to leave shop owners in the center collecting cob webs on their registers. Well the only reason this isn’t number one is because it looks as if they finally have a new tenant there. Prime Meats, formerly of the over cooked and newly scorched Hamptons Market (personally I like uncharred non-burnt markets) moving into the new location along with Gurney’s Bakery, a bread shop and a cheese vendor. Although, I heard it’s the former Pasquale of Tutto Italiano as far as I know that is an unconfirmed. Let’s hope they can stand the challenge if that Whole Foods really goes in the old Plitt Ford as rumored.

#4 The Carvel Drive Thru Window – Now, I love my soft serve and Cookie Puss Cakes as much as the next guy but I’m willing to park my Mercedees before I make a dash for a vanilla cone with sprinkles. Hey, it would have been ok if you called even! I mean, it’s in the store and it’s not melting yet, so relax. In all seriousness, luckily nobody was hurt in this race for the cone. But don’t you think Carvel should have just left it that way?!

#3 Rugosa – Ok, I checked in there once in 2010 and I was the “MAYOR” on Foursquare til the day they closed. Ok, so you’re telling me I’m the only one who ate there!? I know, it looked like it. The food wasn’t bad but the menu there was virtually impossible. While I don’t know who owned Rugosa, I have to ask did they really think there was a big demand in the summer for “squab in plum sauce?” But even if you found something you could eat on the menu, while the food was actually pretty good the service was enough to make you beg for a scrap of bread or a “Hungry Man” tv dinner. So essentially 2011 was a mistake.

#2 LIPA’s Hurricane Irene Recovery Plan – Ummmmm yeah, they’ll be there to fix uh… the.. um.. what do you call it.. the uh…the power lines….ummmm… sometime between… ummmmmm… uh… later today and next Saturday at 5pm! It was like they were getting their customer service playbook from Cablevision. But what LIPA screwed up this past year has been a boom for contractors on the east end. HOW? I have never met more people installing generators than I have in the past 3 months.

#1 THE MTK Festival or Music to Know – Ok guys, first mistake was did you ever look into how much it costs to rent a house or hotel room in the Hamptons during August?! Second, where were all these sort of Woodstockers going to sleep… pitch a tent on some lawn on Gin Lane? Third, the people who actually like Vampire Weekend for example (although I do but I’m very cool for my age) are probably working at the restaurants and stores in August and they can’t take off because it’s busy! DUH! My suggestion, skip the music to know and give me music I already know. I would have paid to see The GO-GO’s, The Pretenders or Duran Duran… or even Neil Diamond for G-d’s sake. But that’s just me and most of the 40 something friends I know. I’m forever stuck in the 80’s and the rest are too tired learn anything new.

What’s the hardest reservation in the Hamptons??? Plus, since there is no good Mexican anywhere, make it yourself!

So what’s the hardest reservation in the Hamptons? Is it Nick & Toni’s? Is it the East Hampton Grill? Is it … oh this is getting annoying, I’ll just tell you. It’s Beach Paws in Wainscott! So, how is the food? Well it depends if you like Mighty Dog or Eukanueba but that’s the real reason to go there. The reason to bark about Beach Paws is it is the best dog grooming service in the Hamptons bar none! Lara Plimpton and her team do miracles for my kids Boo and Russell. In fact, my fidos are fond of getting the mannies, peddies and fluffing there, it’s more tail wagging than between the leg shakes. I don’t know how they do it but Lara makes if fun for them. But if you think you’re going to drop by for a quick rinse and blow dry guess again. It’s by appointment only (sometimes a week or so in advance) but like all things in life it’s well worth the wait. Beach Paws is located at 348 Montauk Hwy in Wainscott. 631-537-4590. When you go, make sure to tell Lara Boo sent you!

Now, I am not a food critic. But I do like food and my favorite is Mexican. So when I heard that they were opening up Agave in Bridgehampton, I was psyched. Now, I’ve yet to go there and try the food but I can’t get anyone to go with me. Apparently the buzz is so bad about this place, I don’t know anyone who will join me in the place Well, maybe in the Fall they’ll get their act together (fingers crossed). So in the meantime, I’m always in search of good south of the border stuff to go. Well, I can say with certainty, I’ve found what is probably the best salsa I’ve ever had!

It’s at Sean’s Place in Southampton. It’s made fresh and includes fresh tomatoes, cilantro and I think strawberries. So if your in Southampton. take the time go to Sean’s Place and let me know if you agree. But don’t worry if you don’t want to make the trip just for Salsa, owner and trained chef Sean King has more awesome stuff for those with an epicurean pallet.

Meanwhile, in spite of the latest shaking on Wall Street most of my friends in the biz tell me it’s full steam ahead. I have to agree. So if you’re holding off before buying hoping for a crash like back in ’08, forget it. Buyers are still out there and taking advantage of the lowest interest rates in history. Remember, there is only so much Hamptons land and real estate around!