Summary of Summer ’17

I know I’ve been a bit remiss in writing my blog this summer.     But while I’m sure none of you lost sleep awaiting my latest post, at least know you’re always reading something relatively fresh.    I mean how easy would it be to turn this into a “Men’s Health” type blog where I just repeat the same old stories with different fonts over and over again. “How lose 20 lbs by Labor Day, How to Have Your Best Summer Ever, Bathing Suits for Every Build.”  Blah Blah Blah.

In the meantime, I have so many things I wanted to write about over the course of the past few months but I never had time to put finger to key or at least the focus.     So rather than do one long coherent post, I’m just going to let it all out.   So, now here are my observations during the summer of ’17 on the East End and my hopes for next year.

Wifi cafe icon set


  • Next summer, I will be hooking up a for pay wi-fi system at my house.    The first 24 hours are free, after that it’s $99.00 a day.    I mean are you here to visit me or watch Netflix?!
  • “Casual” in the Hamptons means only 3 people insult your outfit.
  • It’s really not cool to gasp at another person’s sunburn.   Yes, it hurts and the look of horror doesn’t help in any way what soever.
  • How does one get a speeding ticket on Rt. 27 in the Summer????
  • If you’re under 5’1” then maybe driving a Range Rover two days a week for three months a year isn’t really a good idea.    Doing it while texting is an ever worse idea. May I suggest maybe getting a Smart Car and leaving the phone on the seat beside you!?
  • When driving west, isn’t it a little weird that Stephen Hands is so close to Daniels Hole?
  • My favorite overheard conversation at the Golden Pear, “She wore Lululemon to her f*****g wedding!”
  • Next year, I dare restaurants in the Hamptons to offer discounts for people who leave their smart phones in the car!  I really think it would actually improve things more than you think.
  • Speaking of restaurants… I’m sorry but if I am paying more than $25 for an entree, I don’t want to hear your kids screaming in my ears at dinner.  If you can afford the entree you can afford a baby sitter for an hour.
  • Finally, September is really the best month in the Hamptons.    But please don’t tell anyone or write a stupid blog telling others.   Let’s just keep it between us.





Things I learned this Summer ! Plus …Kickin’ butt on the web!

So what did I learn the past summer in the Hamptons? TONS… let me share with you a few of the things.

1) Free internet exists on the Long Island Expressway! All you have to do is drive the two hours behind the Jitney and your Zip Car is now an office on wheels! Send e mails… do research and look at actor Mark Feurstein (They guy from Royal Pains- I don’t know him either) for the entire two hours! Thank you Hampton Jitney and please only use this service when your a passenger!!! DID I REALLY NEED TO SAY THAT!? YEP! Speaking of which…

2) You must assume every driver during the summer is texting while driving. I’ve seen more Range Rovers plow through cross walks this summer than ever before. I’m surprised more people weren’t killed this summer all because someone had to tell their girlfriend they were “LOL”-ing!

3) Jodi Della Famina ruined every single back of the road “short cut” in the Hamptons! Traffic now get’s backed up on Scuttle Hole Road on a TUESDAY!! #$****$#!!

4) Thursday is the new Friday and Monday is the new Sunday. How come when I worked in the city, I had to work every Friday and Monday? (Insert working at Roy Rogers joke here) What do these people do for a living? I mean is everyone a trust funder??!

5) There’s a new word in the Hamptons vocabulary. It’s called Madoffreude! It’s kind of like Schadenfreude .. you know where people derive pleasure from the misfortunes of others. Madoffreude is taking great pleasure in the fact that someone you know of got ripped off by Bernie Madoff.

Wasn’t it just a great summer!?

Finally a little bragging about where I work. I’m a little biased yes, but Prudential Dougals Elliman just launched it’s new $1,000,000+ web site this week and wow!! What am I talking about ?!?!? It’s a cross between facebook and cracK…the equivelent of real estate narcotics.. totally addicting! The full screen images, the tracking of listings and the fact that it also has the listings from PDE and other companies as well really makes this a game changer! So if you’re thinking about searching for a property on say the UPPER WEST SIDE or Soho.. why go to 4 or 5 different websites you can look on just one! Cool huh!? Go to and register on the site to get updates about new listings that fit your criteria. You may want to pick an agent’s name when you register… AHEM… or not… either way go to site and check it out!