JANUARY IS THE CRUELEST MONTH!

T.S. Eliot once said, “April is the cruelest month.”   Well, let me just say anyone who was willing to write the lyrics for that awful Andrew Lloyd Webber musical gets no respect from me!   The Hamptons in January is truly the cruelest month!  Case I point, today I went to a home inspection and there was no heat.    The homeowner had winterized the property and it was a 20 degrees INSIDE!     Yeah, Hamptons real estate is so glamorous!     My feet are still numb, but I guess it’s better than working in a coal mine or being a food critic in Des Moines.

 

Anyway, all things considered the Hamptons are not a bad place to be even when it’s 5 degrees outside.     So, here they are in no particular order a few fun INDOOR things to do when the forecast has more negatives than a yelp review for a Cracker Barrel restaurant.

 

Montauk Salt Cave

The Montauk Salt Cave – Imagine sitting comfortably in a nice heated room as you breath in Himalayan salt infused air.    It’s like going to the beach but without a village parking sticker.    According to the company website, the cave helps revitalizes ones respiratory tract with lungs and nasal passages cleared from pollens, inflammations and other pollutants.  This is particularly handy if you’ve recently been spending anytime on Main St. Amagansett.   The cave has various scheduled sessions that included everything from guided mediations to reiki healing.    Locals secret:  Take a look on Groupon where the session are often offered at a steep discount.  For more information click HERE.

 

Photo: The Clubhouse East Hampton

The Fieldhouse East Hampton – If you haven’t gone yet you should.   Located on Daniels Hole Rd. in E. Hampton, this entertainment center has something for everyone.    There’s an arcade for the kids, bowling for the families, bocci balland corn hole for the millennials and a bar/restaurant with full a menu for people like me.    They also have a mini golf course but I don’t think that’s in the cards when it’s this cold.   Long needed on the east end, the Fieldhouse is perfect for everyone.  It’s especially great for parents who want to ignore their children with a cocktail as the little ones play games, win points and hopefully buy a prize.   If you want more information check out the website HERE.  Local secret:  Check out their Facebook page for special events and discounts.

 

 

The Spa at Gurney’s – Book a massage or treatment at the Seawater Spa then for a small facilities fee of $30 take a dip in the salt water pool, sweat in the sauna or sweat it out in the Swedish steam room.   The best part of the deal is actually swimming in the pool while overlooking the sand and surf through the expansive wall of glass doors.     Follow it up with a glass of wine and lunch at Tillie’s café.   Although last time I was there I got in trouble for trying to eat my tuna salad sandwich in the pool, so I don’t advise.    For more information you can click HERE.    Local secret:  Memberships are available for access to the fitness club and spa areas.

 

The Parish Art Museum – It’s indoors.  It has art.  I never took an art history class so it’s pointless for me to elaborate.   There are no dogs playing poker, toreadors on velvet or cats hanging onto bars so I’m lost.   I will say people seem to enjoy it and find it EDUCATIONAL.   For the latest exhibitions and hours click HERE.

 

So, there you go!  I know!  You’re welcome!  You don’t have to sit on the sofa binge watching Netflix the entire month.    There are actually things you can do INDOORS that are a little out of the normal routine.    Now, excuse me while I book my flight on Southwest.

 

Happy Holidays! On Damark’s… get set… go!

Woah!  It’s been a few months since I sat down and pounded away the word salad known as Hamptons Chatter.     Tons going on and I haven’t been there for you.   Maybe, I’m just feeling vulnerable since the media has been under such scrutiny lately.  I mean the last thing in the world I need is to come under attack via an early morning tweet!  Yes, I’ve heard this blog is one of the favorites of you know who!

Anyway, in the time it took me to write a new piece, Damark’s Deli has been looking primed for business since mid-summer.   But alas every morning after your coffee,  reading the NY Times followed by Dan’s Behind The Hedges you came to Hamptons IMG_0458Chatter only to be disappointed that it’s still the same old post.    I know!  You IMG_0457 2paused, and said to your self, “self at least Damark’s deli is opening soon!”    But you were disappointed in that too!   Well you can finally call the doctor and reduce your meds,  I’m back and Damark’s Deli is finally reopened!!!   So how is it?   Meh.  It’s a supermarket.  They sell food.   They have coffee too.  Oh, something that is new… they now have brick oven pizza.   It’s no Citarealla but on the upside it’s no Stop and Shop!     I will say it’s bright, spacious, clean and probably a big plus for anyone in Springs.   (notice I didn’t call it “The Springs).   Hours and information are available on their website and in case you were wondering they’ve been around since 1949.     The same year that Hamptons Chatter started!

Speaking of food or actually not speaking of food… speaking of booze… the Golden Pear in Bridgehampton now has beer and wine!      Prices are pretty much on par with every one else in the Hamptons and the selection is actually pretty good.   Although I was a tad disappointed they didn’t offer any Domaine Leflaive Chevalier Montrachet Grand Cru by the glass it’s pretty awesome that you can now sit down with some beer or vino and eat the best mac and cheese on the east end (seriously).

Finally, I’m making a promise to not leave all of you sad and depressed.  I’m promise I’ll be a better blogger from now on!  By the way… I’m having trouble posting photos.  WTF WordPress!?

 

SIGNS OF SPRING!!!

I feel it!  Spring has finally arrived on the east end.   How do I know?  Because Round Swamp Farm has reopened.  YES!   Now, I no longer have to drive by longing and

round swamp
Elastic waistbands optional… ROUND SWAMP FARM!

slobbering in vain for my Mexican Layer Dip,  Sour Cream Coffee Cake or Brussels Sprout Caesar Salad or cinnamon rolls or guacamole or Lisa’s Oatmeal Raisin cookies or Claire’s Lemon Pound Cake or BBQ chicken or … no, I must stop.  Lucky for us they don’t publish the calorie counts on anything they make!

Another sign of spring is the Roses are in bloom!   By the way,  I’m not talking about the flowers I’m talking about Wolffer’s Summer in a Bottle.     After a shortage last year when supplies went dry at the end of July, production has been upped and everyone will be able to enjoy their Rose for breakfast throughout the summer!    The colorful

WOLFFER.jpg
THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS?

bottle which is a work of art itself hasn’t changed since last year but it is a new vintage.  In case you’ve been out of the loop, Summer in a Bottle retails for about $25 and is available at Wolffer Estate Vineyard or virtually every spirit shop in the Hamptons.        Remember, life may be a cabernet but rose is better!

 

 

IS THE BUOY A BUST?? PLUS, HAPPY AS A CLAM IN EAST HAMPTON.

After floating gossip it seems, Bagel Buoy in Sag Harbor is no longer sunk.
The Village staple shuttered it’s doors or rather the lox were changed earlier this week.  A “notice of closure” was posted on the door and that had lips flapping all over town.

IMG_0703
Bobba Bye Buoy!?

While I am not a huge fan of Bagel Buoy and the surly staff it’s always sad to see this sort of thing happen.   Rumor has it a deal is in the works to bring Goldberg’s Bagels to the Bay Street location.   If you take a look at what they’ve done with the nightmare that was “Twice Upon a Bagel” in Wainscott, we can all rest easy knowing we’ll still have a good place to nosh!   But the story isn’t over yet, apparently the buoy was bobbing with business earlier today.   So grab your popcorn this battle of the bagels has apparently just begun.

Meanwhile, the site of the former “Service Station” (loved the salads and sandwiches) has reopened as the Quiet Clam 2.0 earlier this week.

IMG_0714
Have you ever met a noisy clam?

While I haven’t been in yet, my spies say it’s actually worth a visit. The menu is a throw back to when the establishment was “The Quiet Clam” before it was “Nichol’s” back in the last century. Yes, they have clams on the menu along with burgers, pizzas and more. I promise I’ll have more to come. But from what I’ve been hearing on social media the place will be getting a thumbs up.

UPDATE:   I went in and it was “meh.”  Right now there is no liquor license so it’s BYOB.   The lunch menu was limited and there were NO clams but the dinner version seems a bit more promising.   I’ll have to go back when they get their act together.

Finally, in case you missed it EMP House reservations went on lin

dorito taco2
$95 and NO Doritos bag!?

e earlier this week via an American Express website. Well if you snooze you lose and I apparently snoozed. After going live at 9am, by noon the only slots left available were at 5 pm or 10 pm. While this might not pose a problem if you’re 25 or 85 years old, the rest of us younger side of middle age folks (no comments from the peanut gallery) are S.O.L. While there still be walk-ins available for the picnic tables in the back, my attention is more focused on something called the “Taco Experience” for $95 – $125 per person. I’m just hoping that tequila is included with that number!  Hahahahhahhhahhaahhhhahah. I know it’s the Hamptons!