7 RANDOM THOUGHTS ABOUT THE HAMPTONS SUMMER ’16!

One of the fun things about writing this blog is the fact it’s a blog.     This isn’t done for any other reason than my own amusement.   I can write thoughts and impressions on just about everything, except relatives.   That being said, today I’m just jotting some really tangential thoughts about living on the east end.   In no particular order of importance are my unrelated musings about my little part of the world this summer.

Life in the fast lane…….

1)  Do they really need speed traps on Route 27 when the average speed on weekends is about 10 miles an hour?     Seriously, I’ve noticed this over and over again.   Considering traffic is worse this year than last (yes, we say this every year) I don’t understand.    Maybe there* not actually speed
traps and instead just looking for the next Range Rover to go by with an inexperienced driver texting like mad on the way to Tracy Anderson.   Speaking of which….

2)  Wouldn’t it be great if they opened a Planet Fitness next to Tracy Anderson in Water Mill!?    I don’t know why but I just find this idea so appealing.   Come to think of it, let’s open a Ben and Jerry’s on the other side.

3)  I’m over screaming children in restaurants…. when I was a kid, my parents would have killed (me) if I ran around and screamed in a public space.   But then again,  the only two restaurants my parents ever took me to were Rustler Steak House and Perkins Pancakes.   Anyway, we digress.   The bottom line is I’m not spending top dollar to eat out and have your kid scream in my ear!  When my nieces and nephews were little and screaming, I wouldn’t go to do dinner with them so I’m sure as hell not having dinner with your kid!  I know I sound cranky but whatever.    I also want to say your kid isn’t that cute!

4)  There is nothing better than taking a boat at twilight and heading to dinner.   Especially when it’s someone else’s boat!!!

5)  Is it really worth $100 for a pound of Lobster Salad?

Season’s Greetings… it could be July 4th!

6) If you’re being honored by a particular charity and asked to make a speech, please make it about the charity and not about yourself.  “I’m so busy but I find time… my personal assistant has been swamped…. my new shoes hur!”  UGH! Really?   Hamptons residents are very generous and love supporting the charities of their choice and…. squirrel… make sure to buy tickets for Gimme Shelter Animal Rescue benefit next week it’s a good one… also the LGBT Network’s Sunset on the Harbor….. but please don’t mistake my donation as an invitation to go on about YOU!

7) Finally,  I was taught long ago you never go to someone’s house for dinner empty handed.    I think it’s a nice practice.   But for the love of g-d, if you’re going to re-gift the bottle of wine you received two weeks earlier at your dinner party take the old tag off.     Oh, and by the way if I’m the one who brings said bottle back to your house, please don’t let everyone know!   Maybe I didn’t like that cheap garbage you gave me!!!

*yeah I know it should be they’re… I’m just getting even with the grammar police!

A BIG EMPTY SCOOP IN EAST HAMPTON… PLUS FINDING MY FURRY FRIEND A HOME!

Just what East Hampton needs before the season… another commercial property going vacant.  Yes, the scoop is that Scoop is shuttering it’s doors on Newton Lane in the next weeks.   The two decade old luxury retailer is holding an inventory liquidation sale right now.   Known for their eclectic brands of high end duds,  rumor has it that the retailer will be shuttering all their doors in the next few weeks.   According to reports, they already shut their Soho outlet sometime earlier this week.

Soho…Soho??? Is that anywhere near the Tanger Mall in Riverhead?   Damn, I’ve been living here in the Hamptons too long.  ANYWAY, it’s time to get your butt to the store before their inventory is gone!    If you can’t make it, you can always go to their website www.scoopnyc.com,   where the discounts have already begun.

Speaking of sales and saving money,  the clock is ticking for Suffolk county homeowners looking to file for a property tax grievance.   The deadline is end of business day this Monday the 16th.   If you want more information, you can go to the NY State website and then click on your individual town.    You can also do a quick google search online for one of a number of tax reduction services.   Most of them don’t charge anything unless you actually get a reduction.   If you do, they’ll take about 50% of your first year’s savings.   Check with each service about their individual fees and procedures.

Meet Mattie!!!

Finally, a little bragging from me.   For the next few weeks, I’m working together with the folks at Gimme Shelter Animal Rescue in Southampton to feature an adoptable “Pet of the Week.”   You can see the ad in Dan’s Papers or follow me on Twitter or Instagram.   While I’m sure some of you out there would have preferred that I sponsor a “Penthouse Pet” of the week, I thought it would be more beneficial to feature the one that would likely be better company!    if you want more information about my buddy Mattie, check out www.gimmeshelteranimalrescue.org.

Have a great weekend everyone!