Summary of Summer ’17

I know I’ve been a bit remiss in writing my blog this summer.     But while I’m sure none of you lost sleep awaiting my latest post, at least know you’re always reading something relatively fresh.    I mean how easy would it be to turn this into a “Men’s Health” type blog where I just repeat the same old stories with different fonts over and over again. “How lose 20 lbs by Labor Day, How to Have Your Best Summer Ever, Bathing Suits for Every Build.”  Blah Blah Blah.

In the meantime, I have so many things I wanted to write about over the course of the past few months but I never had time to put finger to key or at least the focus.     So rather than do one long coherent post, I’m just going to let it all out.   So, now here are my observations during the summer of ’17 on the East End and my hopes for next year.

Wifi cafe icon set


  • Next summer, I will be hooking up a for pay wi-fi system at my house.    The first 24 hours are free, after that it’s $99.00 a day.    I mean are you here to visit me or watch Netflix?!
  • “Casual” in the Hamptons means only 3 people insult your outfit.
  • It’s really not cool to gasp at another person’s sunburn.   Yes, it hurts and the look of horror doesn’t help in any way what soever.
  • How does one get a speeding ticket on Rt. 27 in the Summer????
  • If you’re under 5’1” then maybe driving a Range Rover two days a week for three months a year isn’t really a good idea.    Doing it while texting is an ever worse idea. May I suggest maybe getting a Smart Car and leaving the phone on the seat beside you!?
  • When driving west, isn’t it a little weird that Stephen Hands is so close to Daniels Hole?
  • My favorite overheard conversation at the Golden Pear, “She wore Lululemon to her f*****g wedding!”
  • Next year, I dare restaurants in the Hamptons to offer discounts for people who leave their smart phones in the car!  I really think it would actually improve things more than you think.
  • Speaking of restaurants… I’m sorry but if I am paying more than $25 for an entree, I don’t want to hear your kids screaming in my ears at dinner.  If you can afford the entree you can afford a baby sitter for an hour.
  • Finally, September is really the best month in the Hamptons.    But please don’t tell anyone or write a stupid blog telling others.   Let’s just keep it between us.





My long awaited… by at least somone although I’m not sure who… return!!! BEACH PERMIT UPDATE!

Yeah, I know I keep saying I’ll blog more but somehow I get caught up in the moment trying to put food in the dog bowl and it slips my mind. So what’s been going on???? Well, lots as far as I’m concerned.

The market has been brisk and busy out here. Already, I’ve done more rentals this year than I did a year ago at this time. So I’m genuinely optomistic about things out here. While I haven’t seen prices go up on either sales or rentals, the article the Faux News had about Hamptons foreclosures being rampant, I JUST DON’T SEE IT. That’s my two cents and I’m sticking to it.

Switching gears now as we used to say in the TV biz.. I’m already getting ready for bathing suit weather. I’ve driven by De Jesus Deli in Southampton and resisted the tamales…

I’ve just said NO to The Golden Pear’s “Mac N Cheese” (even though it costs more than a car payment and the calories are the same number as a Chevy’s weight)… it’s probably the best in the Hamptons! Seriously it is THE best but no doubt extremely fattening!

So, I’m watching my waist and one of the things I’m doing to help me in my quest to ditch the Sans-A-Belt pants is running. Where am I running to? I’m running to East Hampton

Village Hall because apparently there are only 700 of the 2900 beach permits still available for non-residents of the village! Yeee Gads! That means they’re about 75% of the way sold out!! I known it’s only early March but if you remember, last year they were gone by early April. If you want information on what you need to do to get the coveted EH Village parking permit, CLICK HERE! In the meantime, here are the rest of the town links if you want to get a town permit.

Ok, my hands are hurting and I’m done typing and I’m full from my Mac N Cheese lunch! I know you’re thinking “bathing suit?” Well I didn’t say what size bathing suit I wanted to buy!

Southampton Village

Southampton Town

East Hampton Town

The cheapest lunch in the Hamptons!

Total cost $6.25 at 7-11! Oh thank Heaven! You know this would cost $16+ at the Golden Pear. Turkey with jack cheese and lettuce on whole wheat, whole grain chips and a club soda. So I’m not saying I’ll never hit the Pear or go out but I’m just getting tired of hemorrhaging every time I’m hungry! It wasn’t gourmet but it wasn’t bad! By the way, I still say the Golden Pear has the best Mac&Cheese anywhere!!!

There are deals… except for when it comes to Chili!! Plus watch out or you might get sued!!!

Most New Yorkers may not have noticed but according to a recent report by the Federal Department of Labor, in the past year… New York has become a cheaper place to live!! This is the first time this has happened in over 50Years.

It may be a temporary condition, that was likely caused by a substantial drop in the cost of energy.   Over this last year, the Consumer Price Index for the city dropped by 0.1 percent, its first decline in any 12-month period since 1956. 1956!!!! But have no fear… it’s still not that cheap here out east! I have to clarify, we don’t want people to think we’re giving it away in the Hamptons!!!
Today, I had a turkey chili, salad and bottle of seltzer water at the Golden Pear. What was the cost ?? $19.50. I get the same thing at least 3 times a week but for some reason, getting .50 back from a $20 rankled me this afternoon. The food is great.. but I took it to go and ate it with a plastic set of utensils. I don’t know about you but even compared to Manhattan… that felt a little pricey to me. But I wasn’t sure! So I did some chili research!
I have a friend from Cincinnati (did I spell it right?) who brags about how good the chili is there… why I can’t actually tell you how the chili tastes, I can tell you about the service.   It took me about 20 minutes to get an answer. But at the “world famous” SKYLINE CHILI, I guess it’s famous everywhere else in the world but Long Island, my new favorite discovery on the Internet charges $5.99 for a QUART of chili and $2.49 for a garden salad and $1.50 for a soda. These prices could be inaccurate since the guy answering the phone wasn’t too sure himself. That’s a grand total of $9.98!!!! So take that Department of Labor!!! We’re still expensive in the Hamptons! And we like it that way!!!!
On a real estate note, a friend of mine who is an attorney was doing some research. She remarked to me, you won’t believe this agent who is known about town and knows the way of country living but he/she “sues everybody!!!” I can’t tell you who it is but I’m not surprised.
Also, an offer you can’t refuse!! There’s a great historical restoration in Sag Harbor village. 4 Bedrooms, 4 Baths and it’s under two million. Cheaper than having a chili!! E-mail me or call me if you want details.
It’s a dogs life this weekend and I’ll give you details tomorrow!!!