Happy Holidays! On Damark’s… get set… go!

Woah!  It’s been a few months since I sat down and pounded away the word salad known as Hamptons Chatter.     Tons going on and I haven’t been there for you.   Maybe, I’m just feeling vulnerable since the media has been under such scrutiny lately.  I mean the last thing in the world I need is to come under attack via an early morning tweet!  Yes, I’ve heard this blog is one of the favorites of you know who!

Anyway, in the time it took me to write a new piece, Damark’s Deli has been looking primed for business since mid-summer.   But alas every morning after your coffee,  reading the NY Times followed by Dan’s Behind The Hedges you came to Hamptons IMG_0458Chatter only to be disappointed that it’s still the same old post.    I know!  You IMG_0457 2paused, and said to your self, “self at least Damark’s deli is opening soon!”    But you were disappointed in that too!   Well you can finally call the doctor and reduce your meds,  I’m back and Damark’s Deli is finally reopened!!!   So how is it?   Meh.  It’s a supermarket.  They sell food.   They have coffee too.  Oh, something that is new… they now have brick oven pizza.   It’s no Citarealla but on the upside it’s no Stop and Shop!     I will say it’s bright, spacious, clean and probably a big plus for anyone in Springs.   (notice I didn’t call it “The Springs).   Hours and information are available on their website and in case you were wondering they’ve been around since 1949.     The same year that Hamptons Chatter started!

Speaking of food or actually not speaking of food… speaking of booze… the Golden Pear in Bridgehampton now has beer and wine!      Prices are pretty much on par with every one else in the Hamptons and the selection is actually pretty good.   Although I was a tad disappointed they didn’t offer any Domaine Leflaive Chevalier Montrachet Grand Cru by the glass it’s pretty awesome that you can now sit down with some beer or vino and eat the best mac and cheese on the east end (seriously).

Finally, I’m making a promise to not leave all of you sad and depressed.  I’m promise I’ll be a better blogger from now on!  By the way… I’m having trouble posting photos.  WTF WordPress!?

 

SUPER EXPENSIVE SAGAPONACK SPREAD… AND THE BEST BIG $PENDERS!

sagaponackWhat would you pay for 2 acres south of the highway in Sagaponack?   Yes, it has lush vegetation and is located in one of the most expensive zip codes in the country.    Before you answer,  just know it also has a large building envelope and includes an historic barn that was built in the 1890’s.     Oh, it’s also super close to the Sag General store too.   Well rather than make you guess I’ll let you read the ad from Zillow.     Call me crazy but I think this might be a little aggressive.  Look for price reductions soon.    No it’s not my listing… it’s a for sale by owner.    By the way, if you need to click the financing options button you probably can’t afford it.

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Zillow.com – hopefully they’re negotiable

 

Yep, it’s the height of the summer season right now here in the Hamptons.    It’s a time for hot hazy days, warm ocean surf and a slew of stars.    But not the kind in the sky, the kind that have twitter accounts and get better service at restaurants than you or I.      Speaking of which; I’ve been asking some of my friends from the biz (yes, most are bartenders– stop it!)  who are some of their favorite famous clientele?     Here are a few names that were thrown out.   All are noted for being friendly, courteous and above all good tippers.

Paul McCartney – He’s “awesome” said one person and very generous.

23rd Annual Simply Shakespeare
They love him, yeah yeah.

Hugh Jackman –  He and his wife are super appreciative and friendly according to my sources.

Jimmy Fallon –  He and his wife always introduce themselves (seriously) to staff and are friendly and outgoing.    Occasionally likes to prank with the staff.

Alec Baldwin – He’s a local and frequent visitor about town, restaurant staff members all remark he’s a “good guy.”  They also point out his wife Hilaria is a super sweet.

Howard Stern – Sits in the back of restaurants as to not attract attention, quiet and really nice to everyone from the front to the back of the house.  He’s also a very very generous tipper.

Gwyneth Paltrow – Yep, she’s goop and spends tons of money on things that most of us can’t even contemplate (check goop.com) but she’s friendly and shares the wealth with the help.  To quote one source,  “she doesn’t make a fuss when she comes in.”

Jessica Biel – One story involves some rowdy fans approaching her and her husband (who is apparently also famous) in the middle of dinner.    She smiled, posed for selfies and left a nice tip at the end of the meal.     Here’s hoping the Timberlake’s buy out here soon.   I’m happy to help.

Luann
Sag Harbor’s Countess

Countess Luann de Lesseps – I don’t watch the housewives… never have… probably never will.. but the buzz around town especially in Sag Harbor is that this lady is just that.

There are a few names I could have put on this list that most waiters and waitresses avoid like the plague.    But I’m trying to stay positive, but if you see me in person feel free to ask.

 

 

 

 

IS THE BUOY A BUST?? PLUS, HAPPY AS A CLAM IN EAST HAMPTON.

After floating gossip it seems, Bagel Buoy in Sag Harbor is no longer sunk.
The Village staple shuttered it’s doors or rather the lox were changed earlier this week.  A “notice of closure” was posted on the door and that had lips flapping all over town.

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Bobba Bye Buoy!?

While I am not a huge fan of Bagel Buoy and the surly staff it’s always sad to see this sort of thing happen.   Rumor has it a deal is in the works to bring Goldberg’s Bagels to the Bay Street location.   If you take a look at what they’ve done with the nightmare that was “Twice Upon a Bagel” in Wainscott, we can all rest easy knowing we’ll still have a good place to nosh!   But the story isn’t over yet, apparently the buoy was bobbing with business earlier today.   So grab your popcorn this battle of the bagels has apparently just begun.

Meanwhile, the site of the former “Service Station” (loved the salads and sandwiches) has reopened as the Quiet Clam 2.0 earlier this week.

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Have you ever met a noisy clam?

While I haven’t been in yet, my spies say it’s actually worth a visit. The menu is a throw back to when the establishment was “The Quiet Clam” before it was “Nichol’s” back in the last century. Yes, they have clams on the menu along with burgers, pizzas and more. I promise I’ll have more to come. But from what I’ve been hearing on social media the place will be getting a thumbs up.

UPDATE:   I went in and it was “meh.”  Right now there is no liquor license so it’s BYOB.   The lunch menu was limited and there were NO clams but the dinner version seems a bit more promising.   I’ll have to go back when they get their act together.

Finally, in case you missed it EMP House reservations went on lin

dorito taco2
$95 and NO Doritos bag!?

e earlier this week via an American Express website. Well if you snooze you lose and I apparently snoozed. After going live at 9am, by noon the only slots left available were at 5 pm or 10 pm. While this might not pose a problem if you’re 25 or 85 years old, the rest of us younger side of middle age folks (no comments from the peanut gallery) are S.O.L. While there still be walk-ins available for the picnic tables in the back, my attention is more focused on something called the “Taco Experience” for $95 – $125 per person. I’m just hoping that tequila is included with that number!  Hahahahhahhhahhaahhhhahah. I know it’s the Hamptons!

3 HINTS TO RENT YOUR HOUSE THIS SUMMER AND BAD WEATHER, NO PROBLEM – LET’S GOLF!

Every now and then this blog is inspired by the muses.  But first I need to clarify, I’m   talking about that Olivia Newton-John kind of muse, not by the classic Greek muses.     So what was my latest inspiration?  Was it to quit my job and open an elaborately decorated roller-disco?  No, it was to help you my friends!  Help you turn your house into an actual Xanadu that people will want to rent this summer!

1-  Make sure the house is uncluttered and neutralized.    By neutralized I mean take all of those quirky little decorative choices you’ve made and turn them into a Pottery Barn dream!   Floral patterns are a no.   Besides, Laura Ashley has been dead since 1985.  It’s time to move on.   Think basic, basic, basic; monochromatic bed spreads, curtains and

Floral
Yeah, nothing says summer rental like flowers!

carpeting.      Also, put away all of those family photos that litter your foyer, bedroom and den.    Yes, you can tell potential renters you’re going to put them away but it’s better to make it look like an easy task rather than relocating the National Portrait Gallery.     Speaking of art, that thing on the refrigerator isn’t that good and your kid is no Renoir.   Give it to Grandma.  Besides, she loves that ####, go ahead and make her day.

2 – Now that your house doesn’t look like the before from an episode of “Horders,”  call a photographer and have the home professionally shot.    You get what you pay for and it’s worth it.    You’ll get better money if the house shines and it won’t shine if you take photos from your iphone or Polaroid Swinger.      Talk to your real estate agent and ask for suggestions.  I’m sure they’ll be able to provide you with a few names.

3- Speaking of real estate agents… make sure they know you’re on the market for rent.   That means get it into the local database and unless you’re living in the Taj Mahal it’s a good idea to make sure you keep it as an “open listing.”    No agent is going to retire from the 10% you pay on the rental lease so at least make it an enticing proposition.     More and more agents are putting listings into the system as “exclusive rentals” and that’s a mistake.    You’ve just drastically reduced your potential showings.  But if the idea of meeting agents or giving out keys makes you nervous, hire an agent and have them list your property at compelling split with the other agents.   That means, you’re listing agent takes 20% and the agent who brings the tenant get’s 80% of the 10%.    Think about it this way, agents are not doing this as a hobby, they want to make money.   Make it worth it!

So once you get your house ready for rental, I’m sure a few of you out there would like nothing more than to relax with a nice round of golf.   But if the idea of flying to Florida seems too daunting a task (I’m assuming you don’t want to golf with snow on the ground), you may want to just take your clubs and head to Toilsome Rd. in East Hampton for a visit with PGA Pro Eric Schultzel.   His training facility there is completely indoors and weather is no problem.     Click the video below to get a little preview.

Visiting Eric’s Golf Simulator Studio from Patrick Mclaughlin on Vimeo.

You can also click here to visit Eric’s site or give him a call at 631-527-5959