Summary of Summer ’17

I know I’ve been a bit remiss in writing my blog this summer.     But while I’m sure none of you lost sleep awaiting my latest post, at least know you’re always reading something relatively fresh.    I mean how easy would it be to turn this into a “Men’s Health” type blog where I just repeat the same old stories with different fonts over and over again. “How lose 20 lbs by Labor Day, How to Have Your Best Summer Ever, Bathing Suits for Every Build.”  Blah Blah Blah.

In the meantime, I have so many things I wanted to write about over the course of the past few months but I never had time to put finger to key or at least the focus.     So rather than do one long coherent post, I’m just going to let it all out.   So, now here are my observations during the summer of ’17 on the East End and my hopes for next year.

Wifi cafe icon set
SUMMER OF ’18… NOT AT MY HOUSE!

 

  • Next summer, I will be hooking up a for pay wi-fi system at my house.    The first 24 hours are free, after that it’s $99.00 a day.    I mean are you here to visit me or watch Netflix?!
  • “Casual” in the Hamptons means only 3 people insult your outfit.
  • It’s really not cool to gasp at another person’s sunburn.   Yes, it hurts and the look of horror doesn’t help in any way what soever.
  • How does one get a speeding ticket on Rt. 27 in the Summer????
  • If you’re under 5’1” then maybe driving a Range Rover two days a week for three months a year isn’t really a good idea.    Doing it while texting is an ever worse idea. May I suggest maybe getting a Smart Car and leaving the phone on the seat beside you!?
  • When driving west, isn’t it a little weird that Stephen Hands is so close to Daniels Hole?
  • My favorite overheard conversation at the Golden Pear, “She wore Lululemon to her f*****g wedding!”
  • Next year, I dare restaurants in the Hamptons to offer discounts for people who leave their smart phones in the car!  I really think it would actually improve things more than you think.
  • Speaking of restaurants… I’m sorry but if I am paying more than $25 for an entree, I don’t want to hear your kids screaming in my ears at dinner.  If you can afford the entree you can afford a baby sitter for an hour.
  • Finally, September is really the best month in the Hamptons.    But please don’t tell anyone or write a stupid blog telling others.   Let’s just keep it between us.

 

JUST YOUR AVERAGE HAMPTONS LUNCH….

CELL PHONE PEOPLE

 

SAG HARBOR IS IN DANGER… COOKIES AND BROWNIES WITH NO GUILT!!!

I’m starting to feel like the Terence Malick of bloggers right now.    In fact, I feel I’m in my “Tree of Life” phase, minus Brad Pitt and with even less enthusiasm from the audience.   But as my fortune cookie said the other day, “you must try or hate yourself for not trying.”  So here I am trying to bang out my ever so entertaining latest installment of “HAMPTONS CHATTER.”   – crickets –

Anyway, what everyone seems to be really discussing in my part of the world is about how Sag Harbor has turned a corner.   I’ve been nestled in Sag Harbor’s Main Street for the better part of 12 years (more on that later) and enjoyed it’s sophisticated small town feel.   From the “five and dime” to home design stores to the Golden Pear coffee shop, it was “hello”… “good morning”…. “have a good day.”    But as Whoopi said in the movie “Ghost,”   – –  “Sag Harbor, you’re in danger girl.”

The main culprit from what I hear is that “new restaurant” that shall remain unnamed.   According to reliable sources, just because the place is empty doesn’t mean they want your unpretentious butt sitting at one of their tables.   More than a few of my city and local friends have gone in only to be told, “we’re full!”    Wow!   I actually was curious and went to YELP to read some of the reviews.   I swear I remember reading them and they were pretty much the same thing, rude staff that had more attitude than Katherine Heigle at a “Grey’s Anatomy” reunion.   But guess what?! I went back to re-read these reviews (I wanted to post them here) and now I can’t find them!  Now I don’t want to start any sort of conspiracy here but …. seriously… unless I’m totally losing it they’ve gone MIA.   Anyway, I will ask is the food really that good?    I’m not a masochist anyway and I doubt a serving of moules et frites will change my life.  So, for now I’m happy going to the Sizzler Steakhouse.

My advice – – guys lighten up!  The great thing about Sag Harbor is it’s a friendly town with not a whole lotta attitude.     Yes, you’re the new kid in town and lots of overdressed and socially insecure people are posting  tons of photos on Instagram, blah blah blah.     “Look I got in and you didn’t!!!”   But this stuff wears thin when most of us are busy worrying about more mundane things like our families, health and paying bills.  Believe me the folks who are getting in WILL care when they’re the only people in the place.   Otherwise, they wouldn’t be posting their dinners on line!    “Look I got in… and I’m the only one here – because nobody really wants to be here” doesn’t have quite the same sexy allure.     I’ve seen it before over and over in the Hamptons and it will happen to you too… too much attitude can be the kiss of death.

Meanwhile, I was getting my morning coffee at Goldberg’s in Wainscott – a friendly place but I don’t eat carbs (lying).    When I came across the most interesting and delicious looking brownie.   Now remember, I don’t eat carbs or sweets (lying again) but when I read the story about this amazing bakery I felt the need to eat… I mean contribute.   It’s called South Fork Bakery.   According to their website:

South Fork Bakery’s purpose is to provide meaningful and
supportive employment to South Fork residents
with ADHD, Auditory Processing Disorders, Autism and
Developmental Disabilities. Employees are immersed
in all aspects of the business, including baking, packaging,
sales, marketing, and business management.

SOUTH FORK BAKER
SOUTH FORK BAKERY GOODIES

What a great idea and the brownies and cookies are great too (or so I heard – as I wipe brownie crumbs from my mouth)!    If you want more information click here!  You can also order products online.   So do something good for others and enjoy.    This stuff is better than moules et frites any day!

 

After more than 14 years in Sag Harbor I’ve decided to make a change.     I am now so very proud to be a member of Sotheby’s International Realty in East Hampton.    Located at 6 Main St.     Make sure to note it in your yellow pages book extra page, rolodex and filofax.   Now pick up that princess phone and give me a call.   You can google the number.

 

CHIRPING ABOUT CHICKEN WITH THAT ROSE… SHOULD IT STAY OR SHOULD IT GO?!

When buying or selling a home one of the most common questions I get asked (other than “Where is the property line? Duh, look where the neighbor stops mowing the lawn.”)  is what stays and what goes in the transaction.   Yes, I get asked if, “are they leaving the coffee maker, what about the runner on the stairs, the original Hockney over the fireplace and the water-pick in the downstairs master?”   You’d be surprised what some folks think they get to take and what others think should stay.    So, if that Clash song is going through your head, “Should I stay or Should I Go”   (and hopefully not because of that awful commercial for Choice Hotels) look no further, I have a legal expert here to sharpen the fuzzy details.

Douglas Moliterno is the founder of Hamptons Law,  a boutique law firm located in Amagansett specializing in real estate and estate planning law.   I recently had a chance to discuss with him some of the finer points of selling a home on the East End.   Here’s what he had to say:

FLAT SCREEN TV
THE FLAT SCREEN TV….  SHOULD IT STAY?
Q1 – Hi Doug,   often sellers and buyers aren’t exactly sure what stays and what goes with a home sale.  I usually tell people, if it’s nailed, bolted-in or or otherwise permanently attached, it stays.   Is that a good rule of thumb?
Good rule of thumb. I also use the term “built-in” to describe items that stay.
 
Q2 – What about wall mounted televisions?
A good rule of thumb is that the wall mounts are fixtures and should remain but the TVs are personalty and can go – always best to be clear up front as this isn’t a straight forward issue and the buyer and seller might have a different understanding of it.
 
Q3 – I recently had an awkward situation with a swing set.   Do they usually get included with a sale? 

 The swing-set should be included if it is bolted or cemented into the ground. If it’s not “attached,” then it should likely be considered personalty and can be taken by the seller – again, always best to clear this up from since it’s not always clear to both buyers and sellers

 
Q4 – I’ve also had people try to take the washer and dryer.   That’s usually included in the sale with most contracts?   Do buyers need to make sure they’ll be included?
 
Unless specifically excluded up front by the seller, there should be no question about whether a washer and dryer (and other major appliances are included) – of course they are part of the purchase.
 
Q5 –  What about bathroom mirrors?
My typical rule with mirrors is that they can be taken by the seller if they are hanging on hooks or nails, etc.; if they are nailed in or bolted, then they should remain.
 
Q6 –  What do sellers and buyers need to do to avoid these sort of problems?  

Work with a good broker that knows what to look out for and knows which gray areas (wall-mounted TVs, swing sets) can cause problems/awkward situations down the road.  If not negotiated properly and clearly up front this can become an unneeded problem.

 

If you’d like to contact Doug he can be reached at his office in Amagansett.   631-267-2700 or via e mail at  INFO@HAMPTONSLAW.COM.
In the 80’s it was chicken wings, in the 90’s it was sushi and the 00’s it was cupcakes and Rose wine.   BUT WHAT DO DRINK WITH THAT CHILLED BOTTLE OF ROSE!?  What is the hottest food trend hitting the east end?  It might be hard to believe but the delicacy of the moment appears to be Fried Chicken!   I kid you not, in spite of the fact there is a line outside Soul-Psycho every week, those same spinners are are lining up and paying good bucks to chow down on Colonel Sander’s favorite dish.   But there’s no Colonel Sander’s in the Hamptons (thank god, it’s not as good as you remember) where is the proof?   Well don’t get your feathers ruffled and look no further than the lines at lunch time for Cromer’s Market in Sag Harbor.  Every Saturday the Fried Chicken is first to go and the hungry hungry hippos….err I mean Hamptonites are lining up to get their hands on this caloric delicacy.
Red Horse Market in East Hampton also specializes in a fried chicken that has become a favorite among some of the famous and non-famous locals.   No names mentioned but one is a late night talk show host.
EH GRILL
EH GRILL … FLYING CHICKEN!
For those with more epicurian tastes, the number one rated restaurant in the country Eleven Madison Park is offering a “Fried Chicken Feast” with coleslaw, rolls, potato salad, pickels, water melon and fresh baked pie all for the frugal price of $75 dollars a person.   By the way, reservations are required (hahahah good luck with that one) and shock of all shocks…. gratuity is not included.
East Hampton Grill which is arguably the most popular eatery in the Hamptons right now is also putting their feathers in the ring with their new “Flying Chicken” menu.   All summer long starting at 11 am, you can order their “Grandma Ding’s Cripsy Fried Chicken” to go.     Prices start at about $12 for 3 piece and buscuit lunches and go up to $48 for 12 pieces and 6 buscuits.    You can also get their famous cole slaw, tabbouleh salad and sodas and sparkling water to round out your poultry party pack.    The food is for take out…. and some limited seating in the restaurant.    Click here for more details.

 

5 Hacks for Surviving the Hamptons… plus great beach music!!

The answer for crappy cell service!Click here to buy on Amazon! 

Well this is the home stretch folks and if you’re like me,  the glass is half full.  We have a couple more weeks of summer!!!   Yes, there’s more left of “Summergeddon 16” in the Hamptons and believe it or not, there are a few things you can make these next few weeks more enjoyable.

Get a microcell for your cell phone – One of the biggest complaints people have about being on the east end is that their phones just don’t work.  But it doesn’t have to be the case.  You can go to your local service provider and buy a mini “cell tower” that hooks up to your internet for about $150.   You could also try calling them and see if they’ll cut you some slack and send you one for free.   Sometimes they’ll do that when you’re in a zone with no “mapped” coverage.   It’s bad enough for house guest but Lord knows even locals go nuts with the dead zones out here!

In Southampton behind Chase… plenty of spots!

Learn where to park – Going to dinner, lunch or just picking up a Lululemon shirt can be a nightmare during the height of summer.   Driving up and down main street hoping that you’ll be lucky and be granted a gift by your parking angel.  But what if that Escalade isn’t pulling out for your Mini-Cooper any time soon?   In Southampton Village, haul your four tires around the corner and use the village parking behind the Chase bank and West Main.    In Sag Harbor, during the day try the lot next to Dodds and Eder on W. Water St.   In East Hampton, the Walbaum’s lot is always a nightmare so instead try the lot off Gingerbread Lane Extension (by the YMCA) and cut through Herrick Park to the heart of the village.

Coming and Going –  We all know you don’t leave the Hamptons on Sunday afternoons at 4 pm and you don’t leave the city on Fridays from 11am-5pm… so when are the “optimal” times to make your trek back and forth?  Well since I’m now a full timer out here I had to ask a few of my friends who are citidiot’s to get an answer.  What is the best time to go back and forth to the east end?  The answer; Friday nights around 7pm departure from the city and Monday am at about 8 am departing the Hamptons.  That is of course if you can’t catch the “cannonball” from Penn Station.

Handling Your Hot Car – I’m not sure where I read this but when your car is a 105 degrees and it’s only 80 outside, there’s a simple hack that will cool it off ASAP.  I’m not sure how it works or why but it does. Open the passenger side window and then open and shut the driver side door a few times for about 15 seconds.  I kid you not, your car will be a whole lot cooler.   I failed physics in high school so if there are any geeks out there to explain this, I’m all ears.

See You in September –  Hello, summer doesn’t end till until September 23rd.   I’m letting you know the best kept secret in the Hamptons… SEPTEMBER IS THE BEST MONTH.  You have warm weather, warm water, less crowds and virtually ever shop in town is having a sale!     It’s my favorite time of year out here.    It will be yours too… by the way, all the hotels are cheaper too!

Finally… it’s my blog so suffer.  I want to tell you what I’m listening to this summer.   I can do that!   For some reason I stumbled on the new album from ABC (Look of Love and When Smokey Sings fame).  It’s called The Lexicon of Love II and it’s a “sequel” to their album of the same name which was huge in ’82.   I personally think it’s awesome and it’s great pop music for grown ups.   Take a listen to the clip below.  Yeah they look older but we all do!