DKSH & GOOP TOO! THE HARBOR GETS A CELEBRITY INFLUX …. PLUS THE ART OF STAGING!

 

muse sag
Tutto Il Giorno – Coming soon to Sag Harbor

While the weather outside is still a loooooong way from summer, things are apparently heating up in Sag Harbor.    The big gossip? That the site of the former restaurant Muse will soon be a new outpost for DKNY and her daughter’s Tutto Il Giorno restaurant.    Apparently the designer with the garlic touch is close to inking a deal to buy the building next to the laundromat and Yummilicious for a little under $6 million bucks.   The space which also has a small retail space to the side will also be the future home of the retail store Urban Zen which according to their own facebook page features, “A philosophy of living inspired by Donna Karan. “I have spent decades dressing people. Now I want to address them.”  I swear it says that!   You can’t make this stuff up!   But what ever you think, the food at Tutto rocks!  Good news for the Harbor.

 

 

Switching now to really annoying quotes from rich people.   Everyone’s least favorite celebrity, Goop will be moving into the site currently occupied by Urban Zen on Bay St.   My head already hurts form this news.  I really hope it’s just gossip but I do believe my sources.    Yes, Gwyneth Paltrow the woman who claims she learned about discrimination from donning a fat suit in Shallow Hal is coming to Sag Harbor.    OH! She also said with a straight face “being on set is more difficult than being an ordinary working mom.” Yes, that Oscar winning cultural guru is bringing her absurdly priced retail items to the Hamptons again (Amagansett dodged the bullet ).     Oh joy!    I don’t know what to say.  In one year we lose Conca d’Oro and instead get the woman responsible for these pearls of wisdom.  Insert crying, eye-rolling, sick, laughing emoji here!

 

goop
“The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the American’s. – GP

Well enough about celebrity real estate and let’s talk about real real estate.  Like what to do to help you get that house sold!  Recently I brought my friend Susan Beard who is a local designer and stager to help me with this listing here.   It was no easy task but she was up to the challenge and helped the owners and me bring this East Hampton home from shab to fab (insert eye roll emoji here).    Seriously though, she did a great job.

 

 

If you want to contact Susan about helping you sell or design advice, e mail her at susan.beard@gmail.com

 

 

 

MY HOLIDAY GIFT TO YOU! PLUS HARVEY AND THE HAMPTONS!

A321_Frontier__Airlines-680x365_c
This is what a plane looks like.  flyfrontier.com

I know the weather outside is getting more and more frightful.   In fact, the thought of shoveling driveways, cold wet feet and darkness at 3:30pm has you completely depressed and overwhelmed.    I know!  I know… I feel you!   But before you call the doctor to “up” your daily dosage of “vitamin Z” (zoloft), read this blog.     It will bring you comfort and joy.   DISCLAIMER: please don’t go off your meds folks, while I’m a joy for my family and at least 2 of my friends, my suggestions here are not meant to be any sort of medical diagnosis so put down the phone.   Jacoby & Myers have more important lawsuits pending.

Ok, so what’s my advice to put sunshine back in your life?    Go visit flyfrontier.com and book yourself a flight to the sunshine state for as little as $35 dollars!   Yes, you heard that right.    For about the same cost as taking the jitney to midtown, you can instead haul you butts to Islip Airport (the easiest airport on the planet) hop on a plane and be in West Palm Beach, Miami or Ft. Myers in about 3 hours.    So, the ride is about the same amount of time as a jitney as well.    I will tell you the flights are no frills and you must pay for any additional baggage (checked, carry-on and emotional).    In fact, while I was writing this I just got a quote for a flight from Islip to West Palm in January

for $108 round trip!  Now, that doesn’t include taxes or my baggage from growing up as the youngest of 6 in suburban New Jersey.       From what I gathered, these rates will likely go up in the not too distant future but in the meantime stop complaining about the weather!

If you’re not lucky enough to have the time or ability to hop on a flight to Florida and are instead heading to the Hamptons, you’re not alone.     I call it the “Hurricane Harvey.” Because, for the first time ever, I had multiple rental inquiries for the week between Christmas and New Years!    I’m not sure why Mr. Weinstein’s exploits have convinced peopl

IMG_1904
This is what a food truck looks like!

e to “staycation” this holiday season but it’s kind of weird considering we also had a hurricane of the same name wipe out more than a few resorts in the Caribbean.      Word to the wise here, if you’re planning on being out here the week between the holidays and want to go out to eat, MAKE RESERVATIONS!   It’s going to be crowded.     It’s traditionally a busy week but a few of my restaurant buddies have said reservations are up over last year.

 

Speaking of eating out.   I mean really eating out.  Like outside …. in the cold…

IMG_1908
This is what a taco looks like!

OUTSIDE.    You might have noticed a food truck recently on the grounds of the Milk Pail in Water Mill.    For those of you not brave enough to stop, I’ve done some snooping for you and discovered it’s a taco truck.   It’s called AJI Authentic Mexican Food.   Ok, they have more than tacos and the food is pretty good.   The hours seem to have a lot to do with if the weather is good and traffic wasn’t too heavy.    So if you’re driving east, see the truck and have a hankering for a good taco, burrito or nachos stop by.     It’s not the best you’ll ever have but it won’t disappoint and it’s kinda fun!

 

 

 

 

Summary of Summer ’17

I know I’ve been a bit remiss in writing my blog this summer.     But while I’m sure none of you lost sleep awaiting my latest post, at least know you’re always reading something relatively fresh.    I mean how easy would it be to turn this into a “Men’s Health” type blog where I just repeat the same old stories with different fonts over and over again. “How lose 20 lbs by Labor Day, How to Have Your Best Summer Ever, Bathing Suits for Every Build.”  Blah Blah Blah.

In the meantime, I have so many things I wanted to write about over the course of the past few months but I never had time to put finger to key or at least the focus.     So rather than do one long coherent post, I’m just going to let it all out.   So, now here are my observations during the summer of ’17 on the East End and my hopes for next year.

Wifi cafe icon set
SUMMER OF ’18… NOT AT MY HOUSE!

 

  • Next summer, I will be hooking up a for pay wi-fi system at my house.    The first 24 hours are free, after that it’s $99.00 a day.    I mean are you here to visit me or watch Netflix?!
  • “Casual” in the Hamptons means only 3 people insult your outfit.
  • It’s really not cool to gasp at another person’s sunburn.   Yes, it hurts and the look of horror doesn’t help in any way what soever.
  • How does one get a speeding ticket on Rt. 27 in the Summer????
  • If you’re under 5’1” then maybe driving a Range Rover two days a week for three months a year isn’t really a good idea.    Doing it while texting is an ever worse idea. May I suggest maybe getting a Smart Car and leaving the phone on the seat beside you!?
  • When driving west, isn’t it a little weird that Stephen Hands is so close to Daniels Hole?
  • My favorite overheard conversation at the Golden Pear, “She wore Lululemon to her f*****g wedding!”
  • Next year, I dare restaurants in the Hamptons to offer discounts for people who leave their smart phones in the car!  I really think it would actually improve things more than you think.
  • Speaking of restaurants… I’m sorry but if I am paying more than $25 for an entree, I don’t want to hear your kids screaming in my ears at dinner.  If you can afford the entree you can afford a baby sitter for an hour.
  • Finally, September is really the best month in the Hamptons.    But please don’t tell anyone or write a stupid blog telling others.   Let’s just keep it between us.

 

JUST YOUR AVERAGE HAMPTONS LUNCH….

CELL PHONE PEOPLE

 

SAG HARBOR IS IN DANGER… COOKIES AND BROWNIES WITH NO GUILT!!!

I’m starting to feel like the Terence Malick of bloggers right now.    In fact, I feel I’m in my “Tree of Life” phase, minus Brad Pitt and with even less enthusiasm from the audience.   But as my fortune cookie said the other day, “you must try or hate yourself for not trying.”  So here I am trying to bang out my ever so entertaining latest installment of “HAMPTONS CHATTER.”   – crickets –

Anyway, what everyone seems to be really discussing in my part of the world is about how Sag Harbor has turned a corner.   I’ve been nestled in Sag Harbor’s Main Street for the better part of 12 years (more on that later) and enjoyed it’s sophisticated small town feel.   From the “five and dime” to home design stores to the Golden Pear coffee shop, it was “hello”… “good morning”…. “have a good day.”    But as Whoopi said in the movie “Ghost,”   – –  “Sag Harbor, you’re in danger girl.”

The main culprit from what I hear is that “new restaurant” that shall remain unnamed.   According to reliable sources, just because the place is empty doesn’t mean they want your unpretentious butt sitting at one of their tables.   More than a few of my city and local friends have gone in only to be told, “we’re full!”    Wow!   I actually was curious and went to YELP to read some of the reviews.   I swear I remember reading them and they were pretty much the same thing, rude staff that had more attitude than Katherine Heigle at a “Grey’s Anatomy” reunion.   But guess what?! I went back to re-read these reviews (I wanted to post them here) and now I can’t find them!  Now I don’t want to start any sort of conspiracy here but …. seriously… unless I’m totally losing it they’ve gone MIA.   Anyway, I will ask is the food really that good?    I’m not a masochist anyway and I doubt a serving of moules et frites will change my life.  So, for now I’m happy going to the Sizzler Steakhouse.

My advice – – guys lighten up!  The great thing about Sag Harbor is it’s a friendly town with not a whole lotta attitude.     Yes, you’re the new kid in town and lots of overdressed and socially insecure people are posting  tons of photos on Instagram, blah blah blah.     “Look I got in and you didn’t!!!”   But this stuff wears thin when most of us are busy worrying about more mundane things like our families, health and paying bills.  Believe me the folks who are getting in WILL care when they’re the only people in the place.   Otherwise, they wouldn’t be posting their dinners on line!    “Look I got in… and I’m the only one here – because nobody really wants to be here” doesn’t have quite the same sexy allure.     I’ve seen it before over and over in the Hamptons and it will happen to you too… too much attitude can be the kiss of death.

Meanwhile, I was getting my morning coffee at Goldberg’s in Wainscott – a friendly place but I don’t eat carbs (lying).    When I came across the most interesting and delicious looking brownie.   Now remember, I don’t eat carbs or sweets (lying again) but when I read the story about this amazing bakery I felt the need to eat… I mean contribute.   It’s called South Fork Bakery.   According to their website:

South Fork Bakery’s purpose is to provide meaningful and
supportive employment to South Fork residents
with ADHD, Auditory Processing Disorders, Autism and
Developmental Disabilities. Employees are immersed
in all aspects of the business, including baking, packaging,
sales, marketing, and business management.

SOUTH FORK BAKER
SOUTH FORK BAKERY GOODIES

What a great idea and the brownies and cookies are great too (or so I heard – as I wipe brownie crumbs from my mouth)!    If you want more information click here!  You can also order products online.   So do something good for others and enjoy.    This stuff is better than moules et frites any day!

 

After more than 14 years in Sag Harbor I’ve decided to make a change.     I am now so very proud to be a member of Sotheby’s International Realty in East Hampton.    Located at 6 Main St.     Make sure to note it in your yellow pages book extra page, rolodex and filofax.   Now pick up that princess phone and give me a call.   You can google the number.