Happy Holidays! On Damark’s… get set… go!

Woah!  It’s been a few months since I sat down and pounded away the word salad known as Hamptons Chatter.     Tons going on and I haven’t been there for you.   Maybe, I’m just feeling vulnerable since the media has been under such scrutiny lately.  I mean the last thing in the world I need is to come under attack via an early morning tweet!  Yes, I’ve heard this blog is one of the favorites of you know who!

Anyway, in the time it took me to write a new piece, Damark’s Deli has been looking primed for business since mid-summer.   But alas every morning after your coffee,  reading the NY Times followed by Dan’s Behind The Hedges you came to Hamptons IMG_0458Chatter only to be disappointed that it’s still the same old post.    I know!  You IMG_0457 2paused, and said to your self, “self at least Damark’s deli is opening soon!”    But you were disappointed in that too!   Well you can finally call the doctor and reduce your meds,  I’m back and Damark’s Deli is finally reopened!!!   So how is it?   Meh.  It’s a supermarket.  They sell food.   They have coffee too.  Oh, something that is new… they now have brick oven pizza.   It’s no Citarealla but on the upside it’s no Stop and Shop!     I will say it’s bright, spacious, clean and probably a big plus for anyone in Springs.   (notice I didn’t call it “The Springs).   Hours and information are available on their website and in case you were wondering they’ve been around since 1949.     The same year that Hamptons Chatter started!

Speaking of food or actually not speaking of food… speaking of booze… the Golden Pear in Bridgehampton now has beer and wine!      Prices are pretty much on par with every one else in the Hamptons and the selection is actually pretty good.   Although I was a tad disappointed they didn’t offer any Domaine Leflaive Chevalier Montrachet Grand Cru by the glass it’s pretty awesome that you can now sit down with some beer or vino and eat the best mac and cheese on the east end (seriously).

Finally, I’m making a promise to not leave all of you sad and depressed.  I’m promise I’ll be a better blogger from now on!  By the way… I’m having trouble posting photos.  WTF WordPress!?

 

Summary of Summer ’17

I know I’ve been a bit remiss in writing my blog this summer.     But while I’m sure none of you lost sleep awaiting my latest post, at least know you’re always reading something relatively fresh.    I mean how easy would it be to turn this into a “Men’s Health” type blog where I just repeat the same old stories with different fonts over and over again. “How lose 20 lbs by Labor Day, How to Have Your Best Summer Ever, Bathing Suits for Every Build.”  Blah Blah Blah.

In the meantime, I have so many things I wanted to write about over the course of the past few months but I never had time to put finger to key or at least the focus.     So rather than do one long coherent post, I’m just going to let it all out.   So, now here are my observations during the summer of ’17 on the East End and my hopes for next year.

Wifi cafe icon set
SUMMER OF ’18… NOT AT MY HOUSE!

 

  • Next summer, I will be hooking up a for pay wi-fi system at my house.    The first 24 hours are free, after that it’s $99.00 a day.    I mean are you here to visit me or watch Netflix?!
  • “Casual” in the Hamptons means only 3 people insult your outfit.
  • It’s really not cool to gasp at another person’s sunburn.   Yes, it hurts and the look of horror doesn’t help in any way what soever.
  • How does one get a speeding ticket on Rt. 27 in the Summer????
  • If you’re under 5’1” then maybe driving a Range Rover two days a week for three months a year isn’t really a good idea.    Doing it while texting is an ever worse idea. May I suggest maybe getting a Smart Car and leaving the phone on the seat beside you!?
  • When driving west, isn’t it a little weird that Stephen Hands is so close to Daniels Hole?
  • My favorite overheard conversation at the Golden Pear, “She wore Lululemon to her f*****g wedding!”
  • Next year, I dare restaurants in the Hamptons to offer discounts for people who leave their smart phones in the car!  I really think it would actually improve things more than you think.
  • Speaking of restaurants… I’m sorry but if I am paying more than $25 for an entree, I don’t want to hear your kids screaming in my ears at dinner.  If you can afford the entree you can afford a baby sitter for an hour.
  • Finally, September is really the best month in the Hamptons.    But please don’t tell anyone or write a stupid blog telling others.   Let’s just keep it between us.

 

JUST YOUR AVERAGE HAMPTONS LUNCH….

CELL PHONE PEOPLE

 

Police baffled by badly dressed missing couple in the Hamptons….. I know where they are!!! Plus some news to Nosh on!

So it’s that time of the year for real estate agents. Yes, the renters are here! Now, I don’t want to sound like I’m Paul Revere here warning of impending doom. I love the summer renters!!! Some are great… but there are few stories that leave me wondering about just how some of these people survive in the world!

Recently I was made aware of a new term for certain renters that the locals use. They call them the “mirrorless.” What does that mean and who are these people? Well, let me tell you. These are the people who wear fur coats in June, speedos with bulging guts and high heels on the beach. Apparently it comes from one particular incident,that an old timer agent friend of mine told me about. A few years ago when a tennant complained to an agent that the house had no mirrors anywhere in the house the agent went to the hardware store and bought a few inexpensive stand alone full length ones. Well when they went to the house, they discovered these people weren’t kidding. The wife look like she put her make up on the Cyclone at Coney Island and the Husbands Coogi sweater was about two sizes too small. Thus the term “mirrorless” was born in a Hamptons summer rental.

I’m not coining a new term but it is one I just discovered. It’s called an Earhardt! Apparently cab drivers in the Hamptons have been aware of this for years. Every year new comers come to the East End and move into their beautiful new 4 bedroom, 4 bath, heated pool compounds for three months. Now I appreciate that the newcomers to our community respect the rules of the roads and don’t drink and drive. But please from now on REMEMBER WHERE YOU LIVE! Saying, it’s a house with gray shingles off 27 doesn’t really help the driver. Nor does, “it has a pool in the backyard or I think it’s on Bay or Ocean or something like that.” Yes, apparently it’s an epidemic for cab drivers this time of year… tenants that get drunk and can’t remember where they live! If your a real estate agent like me, print little cards with the address for your new tenants. It’s the right thing to do. Otherwise, the cab drivers with be referring to them as an “Earhart.” Yes, like Amelia Earhart.

Also, I know I haven’t been blogging lately. I’ve actually been busy. But I have been trying some of the new restaurants around town and revisiting some of the old. Here in a nutshell what’s hot this year: Tutto Il Giorno the Southampton venue of the Sag Harbor restaurant… packed every night and hard to get in. Make sure to say hello to Walter, you know from the old Della Femina.. ooops… I mean Della

Famina. Speaking of the old “DF”… the East Hampton Grill is indeed open and apparently the buzz has been great. I went twice so far. I can recommend the Cod, the Salmon and the ribs are all amazing. The wine list is pretty extensive and well priced. So truly the wait has been worth it. They just started taking reservations , so plan ahead. I had dinner with a crowd from Palm Beach on Saturday and if it’s anything like there… you’ll need a good 4 or 5 days lead time at least.

On the down side of things, I don’t know what happened at Harbor Bistro. It was one of my favorites in East Hampton for a long time but something must have happened over the winter. The Caesar salad was watery, the tuna was dry and my friend sent his fish back. Also, the ribs ain’t what they used to be but don’t bother complaining the waiters are busy schmoozing at the bar and trying to get their attention was futile. It’s sad, this is one of the best locations in the Hamptons. I’ll have to give them a few weeks and see if they get back to where they were. Let’s hope so!