Tesla apparently made summer quicker in Montauk… and lock your doors and hide your porridge a fairy tale about summer renters!!!

So my blog has been a little spotty lately but what can I say?! We’ve actually been selling houses out here on the east end. You know, I must work since I don’t make enough money on this blog to eat let alone afford a pair of Ferragamo’s.

Well my first tale is one that I’ve never heard before, although a few have told me they have! It starts with my getting my brand new watch fixed and somehow it folded into the mystery and legend surrounding the Montauk Project. If you never heard of the Montauk project, according to Wickipedia it’s described as THIS. So, when I went to the jewelry store the other day to get my watch repaired the sales woman asked me to describe what was wrong. I explained how the hands would sporadically just start to spin. It was her question next that stumped me, “were you in Montauk?” I said “no, why do you ask?” She went on to describe how they get people in the store all of the time for watch repair describing a problem similar to mine. Their watch just started spinning! Woah, holy Bill and Ted’s Excellent adventure. Are people going into time warps in Montauk? According to the sales person (who I won’t disclose) some locals feel it’s the result of the experiments that happened back during WW II. So did Tesla plant a giant magnet under Navy Beach!?!? Leonard Nimoy we need you to go “In Search Of” now!! Let me know if any of you have had similar or have heard the same story!

Finally, a little fairy tale about the Hamptons and a warning to folks off Wainscot Northwest Rd. Once upon a time there was…er.. is a little… well actually….a big share house full with wall street kids from the firm of “Holdem Backs.” Yes, these young male and female heirs apparent to Goldilocks and perhaps Bernie Madoff searched high and low for the perfect summer retreat in the Hamptons. Well they found one that was just right. They settled in quickly and merrily played and perhaps partied a little too hard. So hard in fact, they lost their way through the scary Northwest woods!!!

So, what to do when you’ve had a little to much to drink while in the forest. I mean woods… and you need to take a nap!? You naturally go for a walk! I mean neighbors are friendly here in the East Hampton forest, right?! So later that summer evening a family of homeowners came home to their house and notice the flat screen was on! “Someone is sleeping in our living room” the poppa homeowner declared! Yes, the family was surprised to see someone sleeping in their bed… er I mean their sofa! So were they friendly to Mr. Goldilocks? Nope, they called the police and notified the landlord who was none too pleased to hear about so many bears…er… summer renters were sleeping in his beds (damn this would have been funnier if Bear Sterns were still in business, right?). But just one final note and little mixing of tales here… neighbors are looking high and low for the prince who slept on the sofa. It appears he left a flip flop behind, perhaps I should have instead called him Cinderfella!

Take a hike!!! It’s actually a glorious day… something to do for a change!

So the temperature in the Hamptons is relatively warm. Well not 80 degrees warm but high 40’s. Hey it’s not all that bad! If you missed the Polar Bear Plunge a few weeks ago, you still have a great opportunity to get outdoors today and have some fun. My suggestion today is go hang out with a Seal. No, not the singer. The animal.. or mammal… or whatever… this isn’t 5th grade science class people this is LIFE… and I have no idea what they are. But I do know they’re cute. Are they friendly? Well you got me on that one too, although i do hear they’re good conversationalists but you can’t believe a word they say. Everyone knows seals are b.s. artists!

Anyway, hop in the car and head to Montauk. It’s time for the annual seal migration and the best place to see them hanging out is The Montauk State Park seal haulout site. It’s easy to get to but you have to go during low tide. Seals love low tide apparently, who knew!?!? Check the tide tables for a low tide at Montauk Point’s north side. Then check the weather forecast for wind strength and direction; avoid anything too severe unless it’s from the southwest, south or southeast… I have no idea why.

The best access is to park at the south end of Camp Hero Road (near the Point Woods Trailhead), walk across the highway (Route 27) and head north on the well marked “Seal Haulout Trail.” In less than a mile you will reach the low bluff overlooking Block Island Sound and a view of all of the glacial boulders that comprise the playground on which the seals bask.

Although seals can rest, and even sleep, in the water, basking behavior is an important energy conservation strategy. If you want a guided tour check out the COASTAL RESEARCH AND EDUCATION SOCIETY OF LONG ISLAND INC.’S website. They frequently run tours in Montauk and in Westhampton.


They also have some tips on seal behavior and other stuff. Have a great weekend everyone!