The Hamptons… We’re Not as Expensive as You Think!

One of the biggest complaints I hear about the Hamptons is that it’s “expensive.”   While it’s a valid complaint when you consider things like the “lobster salad” at Loaves and Fishes (Loans and Finances) with it’s hefty $80+/lb price tag, for the most part we’re not that much different than any other seasonal beach resort.   I’m here to make you feel HAPPY about living on the East End.  Things are expensive in nearly all resort towns and here are that stats to prove it.    Just know I didn’t pick any crazy overpriced outlets, this is a legit comparison.  It’s very scientific statistical analysis too and I should know, I took Stats #202 twice!

Beach Picnic w/ Lobster:
Seafood Shop – Wainscott    $45/person  –  includes lobster, some corn and a few other sides.
Clam Bake to Go – Martha’s Vineyard MA. $38/Person – includes lobster , some corn and a few other sides.
Now, that isn’t too crazy a difference is it?!  But then again, we’re not comparing this to say Seaside Heights NJ.  I mean, let’s not go overboard!
Sam’s Pizza…. pizzzzzzaaaaaaaaaa.
Pizza:
Sam’s Restaurant – East Hampton – $20.50 for a 16″ pepperoni pizza.
Panzone’s Pizza – Beach Haven, LBI – NJ – $19.90 for a 16″ peperoni pizza.
I could have done a comparison here of say Little Caesar’s… but once again pizza-pizza should be compared to pizza-pizza.   Sam’s only serves pizza.  I’m really trying to keep this comparison fair.
Oceanfront Home:
5 Bedroom Oceanfront Home with pool – Longport NJ – $6,595,000 asking price over 5000 s/f
5 Bedroom Oceanfront Home with pool – Southampton (Meadow Lane) -$28,000,000 asking price for over 5000 s/f
Killing property values???
Ok, so when it comes to everything but housing, the Hamptons are a bargain.  As long as you don’t go anywhere too nice, or too expensive and don’t need a place to live!   We’re just like everyone else!  We’re just like small town America, except we have Tiffany, a zillion Ralph Lauren stores, Saint Ambrose and Gwyneth Paltrow.    All we need now is a Wal-Mart!
Finally it’s the home stretch folks, a few days left till Tumbleweed Tuesday.  But guess what I’m already searching for 2014 seasonal rentals.  Seriously!

Change, Change, Change…. or maybe not and your friend who got a $40,000 oceanfront rental is lying!

I keep hearing everyone talk about how “The Hamptons have changed so much over the past few years.” Well, I beg to differ. I’ve compiled a list of things that are still the same out east. And remember as Carly Simon sang, “these are the good old days.”

The best steak place in town is still The Palm.

Sushi is still free Thursday nights at Bamboo.

The bagels at Hampton Bagels on North Main are still the best.

The staff at Bagel Buoy in Sag Harbor is still nasty.

The American Hotel still has a great Saturday night bar crowd.

The lines at Walbaums in East Hampton are still way too long.

Friday night at Almond is still a bad place for DWF’s to meet SWM’s but hey, it’s still fun!

Howie at Paradise is still the best bar tender.

Driving out on Friday night to the Hamptons can still take almost as much time as flying from NY to LA. Thank god we know Howie!

I’ll still have to wait in line to get into Georgica.

There are still no $40,000 oceanfront summer rentals in Bridgehampton despite what your friend’s friend is saying.

The East Hampton police still hit the beach at 9:01a on weekends to ticket dog owners.

You still need a mortgage to get a lunch at the Golden Pear.

And finally… the donuts at Scoop Du Jour are still just as good as when they were Dresen’s.

So stop your belly aching folks and just enjoy the summer!!!

Finally… If you read this blog than you know about Russell my new terrorist… I mean dog. Anyway, he’s here thanks to the folks at Last Chance Animal Rescue Fund of the Hamptons. Russell is also a big martini drinker so it only makes sense that he and I attend the first annual “Martini’s for Mutts” to benefit the Last Chance Animal Rescue Fund, on Saturday, Aug. 29, from 5 p.m to 8 p.m. Yeah, I’m giving you plenty of advance notice.

Enjoy an evening of poolside cocktails to benefit this most worthy cause at the home of Edward Montak and Michelle Neufeld, at 214 Toppings Path in Sagaponack.

Last Chance Animal Rescue Fund is a charitable, not-for-profit organization, created to save the lives of animals. The organization states “We rescue animals that are located in “KILL” facilities and underwrite the costs of relocating them to “NO KILL” facilities in hopes of finding them a forever family. The minimum donation is $30. RSVP at neufeld.michelle@gmail.com.

http://www.lcarf.org/about.php

Also, look for last years weekly afternoon tea dance to be relocated to Bamboo in East Hampton. Details to come…