WISHES FOR 2020! PLUS A TASTY PRIX FIXE!

I’m still reeling from the coal in my stocking this holiday season.    I mean I’m not poor, poor, pitiful me but I was hoping for a brand new shiny MacBook so I could bring you  more Hamptons Chatter!    But enough complaining!   Because the optimist that I am, my gaze is now turning toward the new year!    So what will it take to make me truly happy…. other than a good script of Zoloft?   Wait no further, here are my wishes for not only me but everyone in the Hamptons.    Remember, a few years ago I wished for a few  more good Mexican restaurants and now we have two (Coche Comedor and K Pasa).

Domino’s Pizza or Little Caesars – Since Phoenix restaurant in Wainscott closed the home delivery thing in the Hamptons sucks.    I grew up in suburbia and although we didn’t have Ubereats or anything of a sort, we at least had pizza delivery!!    While I know the above pizza companies aren’t exactly gourmet, they deliver!   I’m not picky, I’m just lazy.

More Cell Towers – A few years ago, I wrote a blog about all the dead zones out east (click here)   Well not much has changed in the 6  years since I wrote that piece.    If you don’t believe me how bad it is on the East End, download the Open Signal app.   It will

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A VERY CRUDE MAP;  A is an ATT dead zone.  V is Verizon dead zone.

show you how bad it actually gets.    The one thing that has changed is that more folks are abandoning landlines for cell service only.     Where a few years ago, cell phones were a luxury they are now necessity.    The fact the Hamptons have such limited service is not only dangerous it’s irresponsible.  UPDATE:   It looks as if something is happening soon… for ATT users !!!  CLICK HERE

An Upgraded Movie Theater – I love going to the movies.   The popcorn, the shared experience and the amazing real estate commercial before the film even starts are all part of a great evening.    But lately, I’m having CINEMA ENVY.    Social media posts by all of those snowbirds in Florida flaunting reclining chairs and big glasses of Chardonnay while watching Star Wars have me wanting that experience here.

Tuto
Cool Temps & Red Hot Deal

I know most folks would pay more just to avoid having the seat where your legs are in your mouth and a spring is puncturing your back.

Well enough wishing and complaining for now anyway.    If you’re looking for something good to do this time of year and I know the options are limited… I’m going to start talking about some of the great prix fixes going on right now.   My first choice right now is Tutto Il Giorno in Southampton and Sag Harbor.   On Thursday and Sunday’s they’re offering a 3 course dinner and two glasses of wine for 2 at $59.00 (not including tip).   Considering that’s the price of a single entree at some places, this is a great deal.   Not only that the food is off the hook but not exactly low calorie.    I will also say, this place has some of the best atmosphere of any eatery on the East End.    Well that’s it for me this time around.. MANGIA!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SOULCYCLE GETS A NEW NEIGHBOR IN WATER MILL! YOU KNOW IT’S SUMMER WHEN….

In what’s probably one of the better business moves this summer, Sag Harbor staple Provisions will be adding another location at the former site of Citerella in Water Mill shopping center.

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Smoothies and Salads and Bears… oh my!

A smart move considering every Saturday and Sunday, the area swarms with Lululemonites loitering after the SoulCycle classes next door.  Which means getting a green juice or smoothie just got a lot easier!! Thank the lord…. or at least the owners of Provisions.    If you’ve never been to Sag Harbor location, it’s probably one of the best natural food markets anywhere and the organic cafe is always packed!!    According to highly placed sources (the guy at the cash register yesterday), the Water Mill location will be opening sometime in Mid-July.     While I’m sure it will swamped like their other location,  they may want to burn some sage to be safe.     It couldn’t hurt to clean some of the possible bad juju that sunk Citarella (in that location), Avanti market (which I loved), West Elm and Blockbuster video (damn you streaming video!)!    Anyway, you can check out their website by clicking here for more details.

Well, the calendar says it’s June and the summer season is defintiely upon us.    But like the traffic jams on 27 and the blooms of the rhodaden… Roudaden….. Rhodamorgenterns… errrr… RHODODENDRON (like you know how to spell it?) there are other signs that that it’s that time of year in the Hamptons!   Here are a few that I always look for…

Wolffer Vineyards becomes the Pumpkin Town of warm weather on Friday Nights!  Screaming kids, parents that ignore them, jazz music and cars lining up and down the highway…. all with Summer in a Bottle… it’s beach living at it’s finest!

People are constantly asking every store, restaurant, real estate office and bank for their wifi password!  Cell service sucks in the Hamptons…. we all know it.    It’s even suckier in the summer!  Period.    Listen I get it…. it’s isolating and frustrating.   But maybe this summer we can try checking our social media accounts when we get home people!?  Nahhhh. I hate talking to people in person too!

There’s a stranded German luxury car on the beach!    If you drive two days a week for 12 weeks a year, maybe getting a Range Rover or MercedAudibeach9es G-Class isn’t such a great Mercedeesbeachidea (also other people need parking spaces too!)   Try starting with something smaller and easier to handle and perhaps watertight like a VW bug.    Just because you have 4 wheel drive doesn’t mean your car is good for beach driving, especially as the high tide is coming!

Restaurant Managers get Amnesia!    If you’ve ever seen the movie “What’s Up Doc,” you’ll remember the scene where Madeline Kahn gets dragged out of a banquet by her heels when her fiance says “I’ve never seen this woman before in my life.”   Well that’s how more than a few of us feel this time of year when we head out to eat on weekend night.   Ummm, I’m the guy who comes in every Monday in October and April and I’m the only one in the place?!   Patrick?!  No!?   Grrrrrr. 

Anyway, enough complaining…. I’m loving the warm weather, the calls from my long lost relatives and paying double for everything!  It’s summer in the Hamptons everyone!!!  Party on!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EH VILLAGE BEACH PASS UPDATE… & MY LIFE BEHIND BARS!

I can feel it!  The days are longer and the weekends are getting a little more crowded with city folk looking for their summer retreat.     So while we all enjoy the re-leaf of spring and increasing temperatures, it’s actually time for beach lovers to think about Summer!   Yep, those coveted East Hampton Village beach passes have been on sale for a

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2019 EH VILLAGE BEACH PASS

while now and the supplies are running low.   According to the folks at the Village Clerk’s offices there are currently less than 200 still available for the Summer ’19 season.   But don’t panic if you can’t make it out here to pick up your sticker.    You can go online and purchase your pass.     If you need the link, click here.    Remember, you need the pass to legally park at village beaches after 9 am to 4pm from May 15th to September 15th.   I know with the cold damp weather it might not seem like it,  but summer is approaching faster than you know.

Sometimes you really wanna go where everybody knows your name.   One way to ensure that will happens is to get in on what more and more Hamptons homeowners are discovering, bars are the new media rooms.   Yep, you heard me right!    It’s something I discovered for myself a few years ago when my partner and I bought our “spec” house in East Hampton.     In the family room was a big, bulky and industrial looking wet bar.   It felt like my college pub without the brokgreenhollowbaren glass and funky smell.    My first thought was to pull the sucker out but after our first get together we noticed this had become the focal point for the party.    Eventually, we renovated and changed the bar to its current state (pictured) where it is still the place everybody hangs!    It really makes entertaining fun and apparently I’m not the only one who think so.   In just the past few months I’ve listed homes both new and old with expansive set ups; wine fridges, sinks, dishwashers, ice machines, etc.    But most important of all buyers are looking for homes that have these entertaining centers.   I guess it’s all part of what author Faith Popcorn called cocooning.  Home is the place to be and people enjoy bringing the outside world into their homes.  Now if I could only get my dog to change his name to Norm.   Below some of the more impressive  (but far from the only) bars currently on the market.  It’s a far cry from that 1970s basement version with the budweiser light and shag carpet.

Lower Level entertaining at 633 Hedges Lane, Sagaponack.  $9,995,000.  Listed by Douglas Elliman… yours truly!    Click for more details.

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Arts and Crafts coolness at 44 Little Noyac Path, Water Mill.   $5,950,000.   Listed by Douglas Elliman Joe Piccininni  Click Here for more. 

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Rooftop cocktails at 6 Union Street, Sag Harbor.  $7,495,000.   Listed by Compass Kathy Zappola & Scott Strough.  Click here for details.

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CHEERS!!!

 

SUPER EXPENSIVE SAGAPONACK SPREAD… AND THE BEST BIG $PENDERS!

sagaponackWhat would you pay for 2 acres south of the highway in Sagaponack?   Yes, it has lush vegetation and is located in one of the most expensive zip codes in the country.    Before you answer,  just know it also has a large building envelope and includes an historic barn that was built in the 1890’s.     Oh, it’s also super close to the Sag General store too.   Well rather than make you guess I’ll let you read the ad from Zillow.     Call me crazy but I think this might be a little aggressive.  Look for price reductions soon.    No it’s not my listing… it’s a for sale by owner.    By the way, if you need to click the financing options button you probably can’t afford it.

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Zillow.com – hopefully they’re negotiable

 

Yep, it’s the height of the summer season right now here in the Hamptons.    It’s a time for hot hazy days, warm ocean surf and a slew of stars.    But not the kind in the sky, the kind that have twitter accounts and get better service at restaurants than you or I.      Speaking of which; I’ve been asking some of my friends from the biz (yes, most are bartenders– stop it!)  who are some of their favorite famous clientele?     Here are a few names that were thrown out.   All are noted for being friendly, courteous and above all good tippers.

Paul McCartney – He’s “awesome” said one person and very generous.

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They love him, yeah yeah.

Hugh Jackman –  He and his wife are super appreciative and friendly according to my sources.

Jimmy Fallon –  He and his wife always introduce themselves (seriously) to staff and are friendly and outgoing.    Occasionally likes to prank with the staff.

Alec Baldwin – He’s a local and frequent visitor about town, restaurant staff members all remark he’s a “good guy.”  They also point out his wife Hilaria is a super sweet.

Howard Stern – Sits in the back of restaurants as to not attract attention, quiet and really nice to everyone from the front to the back of the house.  He’s also a very very generous tipper.

Gwyneth Paltrow – Yep, she’s goop and spends tons of money on things that most of us can’t even contemplate (check goop.com) but she’s friendly and shares the wealth with the help.  To quote one source,  “she doesn’t make a fuss when she comes in.”

Jessica Biel – One story involves some rowdy fans approaching her and her husband (who is apparently also famous) in the middle of dinner.    She smiled, posed for selfies and left a nice tip at the end of the meal.     Here’s hoping the Timberlake’s buy out here soon.   I’m happy to help.

Luann
Sag Harbor’s Countess

Countess Luann de Lesseps – I don’t watch the housewives… never have… probably never will.. but the buzz around town especially in Sag Harbor is that this lady is just that.

There are a few names I could have put on this list that most waiters and waitresses avoid like the plague.    But I’m trying to stay positive, but if you see me in person feel free to ask.