patrick mclaughlin

Avoid the Soulpsychos …. Plus, the Latest Threat to Property Values!

While we still lament the departure of Tiffany a few weeks ago. We (royal) are taking solace in the fact that there is actually something cool that took its place.   I mean, it could have been a Kardashian pop-up or worse yet another real estate office!  But alas, that’s not what we got! Instead we have something to make the Hamptons a little more civilized on Saturday and Sunday mornings during the season, Peloton!   OK, what exactly is Peloton?   It’s the cure for the overly aggressive Lululemon wearing…. Range Rover driving… Vitamin water drinking…. Soul Psychos!   Rather than jockeying online to reserve a spot at an overly crowded spin class, you can instead buy one of Peloton’s bikes for about $2000, pay a small monthly membership and join in via-video for one of a dozen or so classes a day live from New York City!    The bikes come with a video screen where you monitor the class and have your stats sent back to the studio, so don’t try reading the paper while you pedal.    They’ll know if your sweating or riding like your grandmother!   I took a look at one of the bikes at the store on Main Street East Hampton and this stuff is cool! But don’t worry, if you’re Internet is slow… thank you Optimum…. you can download and store classes on the monitor’s hard drive!     If you’re curious, take a look at this video.    I know I want one of these!  Here’s the link!
 
Could this be bad for owners of historical homes!

Meanwhile, if your’e fit, you’ll be living longer and if you’re living longer you can protect your property values!  SAYYYYYYY WHAT???!   I kid you not!    As if the real estate market weren’t confusing enough, between potentially rising interest rates and an unpredictable market now you have to worry if someone has died in your home!   OMG!  I can hear it now  “Mrs. Freeling, while my clients love Cuesta Verde, this house is not clear… and my buyers want to offer you 25% off of your asking price!” Now, I don’t know about you but I’m not sure I buy the whole ghost thing.  I’ve only seen one in my life and that was after taking an ambien with a margarita!    If you think I’m joking, check out the website DiedinHouse.com!    I know it’s a very catchy name, right?  Its kind of like listing your home on overpricedgarbageforsalebyowner.com!

Finally, some new restaurant reports coming later in the week!   Plus…. go see Conviction at Bay Street Theater!   Some of the best performances of any show on any stage anywhere!

 

TRENDS: Mushroom for Improvement…. Personal Chefs Not Just for the Uber Wealthy!

As a child of Lithuanian, Scotch, Irish heritage the idea of a good home cooked meal was as mysterious as the pyramids.   My mother much to her credit worked as a real estate agent in the 70’s (in my view a pioneer back then) and would come home throw a steak on the grill and kill it ten times over!   I would dream, hope and pray that she would get stuck working late and instead opt to buy me a Swanson or Libby Land TV Dinner. (see below if you don’t remember).   Ahhh the simple life…  where the only other option was perhaps dining out (Perkins Pancakes was a favorite) at a local restaurant.     The idea of actually having someone else come to our house to cook was something far out of consideration and reserved for people like the Carringtons or the Ewings!    But the times they are a changing’!

 

A cheaper alternative but less results!

Something I’ve noticed in the past few years among renters, friends and associates is the growing request for personal chefs.    One client who doesn’t want their name mentioned specifically cited the difficulty in not only getting reservations on a summer weekend but the simple fact that getting from home to wherever is more difficult than sitting through Russell Crowe’s performance as Noah!   OK, they didn’t make the Noah reference but they did say it’s a pain in the butt to drive in town.

Also, with more diners having to adhere to diet restrictions due to such things as food allergies or even vegetarian guidelines, hiring a personal chef certainly makes it easier.    One personal chef I spoke with said while he’s “not exactly sure if the average Joe is hiring them just yet,” people who a few years ago wouldn’t normally have thought of hiring a personal chef are jumping the bandwagon.
While prices vary, one chef I spoke to Dominic Ohrlich who was trained at Culinary Institute in Hyde Park said it varies for the occasion but average costs are about $500 to $800 a day.    While not exactly chump change, it would probably cost you the same to go to dinner with friends and get a muffin at Round Swamp Farm.   If you’re curious, you can visit Dominic’s site at www.privatechefforhire.com!

Meanwhile, if you’re bored this weekend (the weather is supposed to be lousy) you might want to consider heading over to Bay Street Theatre where Conviction is having it’s world premiere.    According the to the blurb,  it’s a delicately balance, beautifully nuanced family drama that digs deep
beneath the surface of a happy suburban existence.      The show stars American Horror Story’s Sarah Paulson who I thought stole the movie “Down with Love.”   If you want more information or tickets visit Bay Street’s website here!    I haven’t seen it yet but from what I hear it’s one of the theater’s best productions in years!

 

It’s D-Day #1 in the Hamptons… What it Really Costs to Operate on the East End!

Just in case you didn’t know, today is D-Day in the Hamptons for real estate agents (the second D-day is the first Friday in August).   It’s the day when most of the seasonal rentals move into their houses.    While many tenants get confused and call it “check in,” I’m here to remind them that renting a house is not like checking into a hotel and your real estate agent isn’t a concierge.   But while I’ll no doubt get a few calls this weekend complaining about broken toasters, lousy towels and confusing pool heaters… and yes I will try to answer them…  there is something I won’t have to deal with this season.   It’s the sticker shock from what it costs to operate a Hamptons home!    Why?  Because my mantra to every tenant is you’re essentially owning this house for the next few months and that means you’re going to have to pay for it!

So what does it cost to operate a home during the summer season on the east end?   I’m going bare bones here but let’s take a look:
They charge more to wear this!
lingeriediva.com

 

1) Maid Service – most rental contracts require the tenant to hire a maid and clean the house once a week.   Some landlords insist you use their current housekeepers (aka spies) in order to keep the house in the same order as when the tenant walked in the door.  So let’s figure 8 hours once a week at an average rate for housekeepers of $20 per hour.  Add $160 to the weekly cost and we’re off and running up that tab!
2) Lawn Service – Unless you’re willing to pull that cord on your Briggs and Stratton you’ll have to fork over a few bucks to maintain that lush green Hamptons yard.   While some yards are bigger than others (not a Smith’s song), I’m going to put the weekly lawn maintenance at about $90 a week.   Some landlords will also require you foot the bill for the gardening but for the sake of erring on the side of caution, we’ll omit that pricey little point!
Hey, you like that guy from NCIS?

3) Phone, Internet and cable – I know a large number of my customers, clients and friends choose that “Triple Play” thing from Cablevision.   For the basic package you’re looking about $80.00 a month.  While it’s not the costliest expense for the summer, if you add those extra movie channels or rent an occasional “pay-per-view”  event or flick it adds up!

4) Pool Service – Sure you can throw some chemicals in the skimmer basket and call it a day but $150.00 per week.   Now, I know you’re saying “HOW MUCH?” but remember this is the Hamptons!  You want you’re pool to sparkle… sparkle… sparkle!!! Once again if you’re a renter this is usually required in the lease and you’ll be responsible to pay for the service plus supplies (chemicals).

5) The Electric, The Heat and the Rest – Now while this depends a lot on the weather let’s put this in a logical way.  If it’s hot outside, you’re not going to heat the pool and you’re going to pump the air-conditioning.   If it’s cooler outside, you’re gong to open the windows and crank the heat on the pool.   Either way you’re going to want to spend the money (unless of course you’re my father who would never turn on the air conditioning unless it was 95 degrees) Now I might be a little high here but I don’t think I’m totally out of the park.   I’m going to put this somewhere in the neighborhood of $800 a month and that’s based on a 3500 s/f house.

Benjamins are required!!!

Ok, so let’s tally this puppy up….. click click click click click click…. change the calculator battery… clack clack clack clack!   Our grand total to own or rent a house out east is about and I say ABOUT… no haters here….  about $2500.00 per month or about $620 a week more or less.     So there you have it and I didn’t even include the $100/person pizza dinner at Serafina (which I have a new respect for… went last night and it was really good).    This isn’t the Jersey Shore folks!

Speaking of which, the New York Daily News quoted me today and I want to clarify.  I love the Jersey Shore and I’ve been many times.   I grew up going to places like Margate, Long Port and Long Beach Island.  So when I say people don’t want the Hamptons to become the Jersey Shore, I’m talking more about the show then the actual area!      Now, will someone tell my friends from home to stop giving me grief over this!  REMINDER:  I just wrote about how to get rid of house guests (scroll down)!

How Your Iphone Can Save You a Bundle on Your Hamptons Summer Rental…. Plus, Answering Those Pesky Questions About Insurance in the Hamptons!!!

As Roseanne Roseanneadanna used to say, “it’s always something” and that goes double for anyone who is thinking about becoming a landlord or tenant during the Hamptons rental season.    While the always informative John Viteritti recently suggested in Hamptons.com to get it in writing, the incidents of craziness somehow still manage to find themselves into both sides of the equation. Yes,

Roseanne Rosanneadanna

the tenant who demands a refund because the toaster doesn’t work on one side or the landlord who changes the locks because you’ve had too many house guests (yes, both are true incidents), having things in writing is really really important.   But you know there’s one other thing that both sides can do to protect themselves, their wallets and their sanity; take pictures!   Yep, a simple photograph and not anything provocative that a landlord might find say in a porn movie or magazine and get upset about (yeah, that happened out here too) but rather pictures of the furniture, the rugs, the walls and of the general condition of the house.

The Summer tenant and landlords potential best friend!
It’s so simple and with smart phones now taking better quality photos than ever before there is no excuse.    If you’re the landlord or the tenant, go through the house from top to bottom and make sure you show the sofa stain that was or wasn’t there.    Show the rug that has the coffee stain or that was just freshly cleaned.  In other words, make sure that you document the condition of the house!   I’ve seen way too many fights over security deposits to name so why not take the extra half hour and get proof about the condition of the property.   In most smart phones, the photographs and videos are saved with time and date so that also eliminates any question about when potential damages happened.    So take it from me and no matter how nice your landlord or tenants seem, tell the sofa to say “cheese” and take it’s picture.     You’ll thank me later… its good insurance that your protected!

Speaking of insurance, it’s one of the most widely asked questions by potential buyers in the Hamptons.   In fact, Mr. Richard Failor from Fort Lee, NJ recently wrote me and asked;  Can I get insurance in the Hamptons? Will it be expensive?   Do I have to buy insurance on my house?  What about flooding?  Hey, you know what Mr. Failor, you’re driving me nuts!    So rather than spending time to research and answer all of your annoying questions, I sat down with John Wiltershire who is director in the personal insurance department and private client services unit at Frank Crystal and Associates in Southampton and got him to give me the skinny on INSURANCE IN THE HAMPTONS……