Summary of Summer ’17

I know I’ve been a bit remiss in writing my blog this summer.     But while I’m sure none of you lost sleep awaiting my latest post, at least know you’re always reading something relatively fresh.    I mean how easy would it be to turn this into a “Men’s Health” type blog where I just repeat the same old stories with different fonts over and over again. “How lose 20 lbs by Labor Day, How to Have Your Best Summer Ever, Bathing Suits for Every Build.”  Blah Blah Blah.

In the meantime, I have so many things I wanted to write about over the course of the past few months but I never had time to put finger to key or at least the focus.     So rather than do one long coherent post, I’m just going to let it all out.   So, now here are my observations during the summer of ’17 on the East End and my hopes for next year.

Wifi cafe icon set
SUMMER OF ’18… NOT AT MY HOUSE!

 

  • Next summer, I will be hooking up a for pay wi-fi system at my house.    The first 24 hours are free, after that it’s $99.00 a day.    I mean are you here to visit me or watch Netflix?!
  • “Casual” in the Hamptons means only 3 people insult your outfit.
  • It’s really not cool to gasp at another person’s sunburn.   Yes, it hurts and the look of horror doesn’t help in any way what soever.
  • How does one get a speeding ticket on Rt. 27 in the Summer????
  • If you’re under 5’1” then maybe driving a Range Rover two days a week for three months a year isn’t really a good idea.    Doing it while texting is an ever worse idea. May I suggest maybe getting a Smart Car and leaving the phone on the seat beside you!?
  • When driving west, isn’t it a little weird that Stephen Hands is so close to Daniels Hole?
  • My favorite overheard conversation at the Golden Pear, “She wore Lululemon to her f*****g wedding!”
  • Next year, I dare restaurants in the Hamptons to offer discounts for people who leave their smart phones in the car!  I really think it would actually improve things more than you think.
  • Speaking of restaurants… I’m sorry but if I am paying more than $25 for an entree, I don’t want to hear your kids screaming in my ears at dinner.  If you can afford the entree you can afford a baby sitter for an hour.
  • Finally, September is really the best month in the Hamptons.    But please don’t tell anyone or write a stupid blog telling others.   Let’s just keep it between us.

 

JUST YOUR AVERAGE HAMPTONS LUNCH….

CELL PHONE PEOPLE

 

CHIRPING ABOUT CHICKEN WITH THAT ROSE… SHOULD IT STAY OR SHOULD IT GO?!

When buying or selling a home one of the most common questions I get asked (other than “Where is the property line? Duh, look where the neighbor stops mowing the lawn.”)  is what stays and what goes in the transaction.   Yes, I get asked if, “are they leaving the coffee maker, what about the runner on the stairs, the original Hockney over the fireplace and the water-pick in the downstairs master?”   You’d be surprised what some folks think they get to take and what others think should stay.    So, if that Clash song is going through your head, “Should I stay or Should I Go”   (and hopefully not because of that awful commercial for Choice Hotels) look no further, I have a legal expert here to sharpen the fuzzy details.

Douglas Moliterno is the founder of Hamptons Law,  a boutique law firm located in Amagansett specializing in real estate and estate planning law.   I recently had a chance to discuss with him some of the finer points of selling a home on the East End.   Here’s what he had to say:

FLAT SCREEN TV
THE FLAT SCREEN TV….  SHOULD IT STAY?
Q1 – Hi Doug,   often sellers and buyers aren’t exactly sure what stays and what goes with a home sale.  I usually tell people, if it’s nailed, bolted-in or or otherwise permanently attached, it stays.   Is that a good rule of thumb?
Good rule of thumb. I also use the term “built-in” to describe items that stay.
 
Q2 – What about wall mounted televisions?
A good rule of thumb is that the wall mounts are fixtures and should remain but the TVs are personalty and can go – always best to be clear up front as this isn’t a straight forward issue and the buyer and seller might have a different understanding of it.
 
Q3 – I recently had an awkward situation with a swing set.   Do they usually get included with a sale? 

 The swing-set should be included if it is bolted or cemented into the ground. If it’s not “attached,” then it should likely be considered personalty and can be taken by the seller – again, always best to clear this up from since it’s not always clear to both buyers and sellers

 
Q4 – I’ve also had people try to take the washer and dryer.   That’s usually included in the sale with most contracts?   Do buyers need to make sure they’ll be included?
 
Unless specifically excluded up front by the seller, there should be no question about whether a washer and dryer (and other major appliances are included) – of course they are part of the purchase.
 
Q5 –  What about bathroom mirrors?
My typical rule with mirrors is that they can be taken by the seller if they are hanging on hooks or nails, etc.; if they are nailed in or bolted, then they should remain.
 
Q6 –  What do sellers and buyers need to do to avoid these sort of problems?  

Work with a good broker that knows what to look out for and knows which gray areas (wall-mounted TVs, swing sets) can cause problems/awkward situations down the road.  If not negotiated properly and clearly up front this can become an unneeded problem.

 

If you’d like to contact Doug he can be reached at his office in Amagansett.   631-267-2700 or via e mail at  INFO@HAMPTONSLAW.COM.
In the 80’s it was chicken wings, in the 90’s it was sushi and the 00’s it was cupcakes and Rose wine.   BUT WHAT DO DRINK WITH THAT CHILLED BOTTLE OF ROSE!?  What is the hottest food trend hitting the east end?  It might be hard to believe but the delicacy of the moment appears to be Fried Chicken!   I kid you not, in spite of the fact there is a line outside Soul-Psycho every week, those same spinners are are lining up and paying good bucks to chow down on Colonel Sander’s favorite dish.   But there’s no Colonel Sander’s in the Hamptons (thank god, it’s not as good as you remember) where is the proof?   Well don’t get your feathers ruffled and look no further than the lines at lunch time for Cromer’s Market in Sag Harbor.  Every Saturday the Fried Chicken is first to go and the hungry hungry hippos….err I mean Hamptonites are lining up to get their hands on this caloric delicacy.
Red Horse Market in East Hampton also specializes in a fried chicken that has become a favorite among some of the famous and non-famous locals.   No names mentioned but one is a late night talk show host.
EH GRILL
EH GRILL … FLYING CHICKEN!
For those with more epicurian tastes, the number one rated restaurant in the country Eleven Madison Park is offering a “Fried Chicken Feast” with coleslaw, rolls, potato salad, pickels, water melon and fresh baked pie all for the frugal price of $75 dollars a person.   By the way, reservations are required (hahahah good luck with that one) and shock of all shocks…. gratuity is not included.
East Hampton Grill which is arguably the most popular eatery in the Hamptons right now is also putting their feathers in the ring with their new “Flying Chicken” menu.   All summer long starting at 11 am, you can order their “Grandma Ding’s Cripsy Fried Chicken” to go.     Prices start at about $12 for 3 piece and buscuit lunches and go up to $48 for 12 pieces and 6 buscuits.    You can also get their famous cole slaw, tabbouleh salad and sodas and sparkling water to round out your poultry party pack.    The food is for take out…. and some limited seating in the restaurant.    Click here for more details.

 

HOW (some) BROKERS REALLY DESCRIBE YOUR HOUSE!!!

While you might be familiar with some of the more famous homes of the Hamptons, Grey Gardens, The Creeks or even the Orgy House, there are probably a few you haven’t heard of yet.    Why?  Because it’s what agents refer to certain homes behind the owner’s back…. and it’s not necessarily a compliment.     By the way, I won’t disclose any of the addresses but that doesn’t mean I won’t tell you when I see you.

First off, I knew of a listing a few years ago in Hampton Bays and the agents around town were referring to it as “Moscow on the Peconic.”  Apparently the décor was so unique the agents equated it to a “Russian bordello.”   Gilded faucets and ceilings, elegant

Russian decor
Yeah, it kind a looked like this!

patterned marble floors and chandeliers that would convince you that the interior

designer was Vladimir Putin.    It was as if you took the Trump Tower penthouse and put it on the water.    By the way,  I had my own listing that I used to refer to as the “bordello” a few years ago.    It wasn’t an easy sell.

 

Speaking of waterfronts, there is one in Sag Harbor that has some interesting qualities.    It’s dark, cavernous and overflowing with nautical touches.   Any guess how a few agents described it to me?   It’s like living in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” ride at Disney World.     Wow!   I wonder if you could just say it’s where they actually filmed it and maybe get some p.r.?  I mean who would be the wiser?

But don’t think it’s all about movie themes in some of these homes.   Sometimes you can get the association with a store or restaurant.    One Southampton home which is overflowing with Asian accents, industrial grade carpeting and Formica countertops is affectionately known as the “Benihana” house.     I also know of another home in East Hampton that’s walls are so overloaded with posters, knick-knacks and flair it’s just referred to as “TGIFriday’s.”   Wow, why do I suddenly have a craving for some shrimp tempura and potato skins?

1313 mockingbird
The Original???

Finally, one of my favorites is a home I think I coined with the nick name “1313 Mockingbird Lane.”    Yes, if you’ve ever driven to or from Sag Harbor and East Hampton you’ve no doubt seen this lovely little ditty!       It’s kind of funny but who knew a cedar shingled beach house could look so sinister?      But everyone has their own style and once size doesn’t fit all.   I’m sure there are some folks out there who think my prominent oil based painting of Bella and Russell is kinda tacky.    I have no problem with that I get my own joke.    But don’t you ever dare insult my collection of Hummel figurines.

 

Well this Friday it’s Memorial Day weekend and the beginning of the Summer Season.  But before we take off our suits and ties for the season, a little advice for landlords and tenants in the Hamptons the season is about to begin.   Trash is not automatically picked up by the town.    You need to either drop it off at the

east hampton dump
This is how we… and you should do it!l

local dump or hire a trash service to come and pick up your refuse.  You know like Norsic or Mickey’s.    It is not recommended that you take your Hefty or Glad bags and throw them over the fence onto another person’s property.     Yes, this really happened to a landlord who discovered a years worth of garbage as they were prepping their property for summer tenants.     Ain’t the Hamptons just so glamorous!?

 

 

DISCOUNT DINING ON THE EAST END… PLUS, WHY YOU DON’T HAVE TO WAIT TILL EXIT 70.

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s starting to look a lot like spring in the Hamptons.    Are the trees budding?   Have the lilies bloomed?   NO!   Traffic is picking up.   There are more cars today than there were last weekend and probably more next week.    One of the other rites of spring is also here, “RESTAURANT WEEK.”     From March 26th to April 2nd, a select number of eateries will be celebrating “East End Restaurant Week.”   I’m not sure how this IS different than “Hamptons Restaurant Week”….. but…..  many of the names are similar.   Fresno, Nick and Toni’s and Service Station in East Hampton, Le Charlot and Union Cantina in Southampton and Page, Wolffer Kitchen and Barons Cove in Sag Harbor are a few of the participating eateries.

zuccini chips
Zucchini Chips at N&T’s!

For a complete list of where to chow you can click here for the details. For a complete list of where to chow you can click here for the details.

Speaking of Union Cantina in Southampton..  I recently stopped by for dinner and was pleasantly surprised.   I went when they first opened and was initially underwhelmed.

UNION CANTINA 2
Deconstructed Enchiladas

Luckily, I decided to give them another shot.      You should too.    We started with what I assume are the homemade chips and guacamole,  very solid.   After that,  I had the “deconstructed” enchiladas, house salad and tortilla soup.    All were delicious with a little heat but not overwhelming.      The service was good… not great but good.   It could be that I was there on a snowy night and nobody really felt like working.   I know I didn’t feel like cooking on a snowy night!    We all love a snow day.    Anyway, I would say try for yourself and let me know if you agree.    Oh, the margaritas are definitely worth trying too…. not too sweet with a good kick.

Are we there yet??????  Are we there yet?    Well, I’m already here …. out of the traffic suckas!    But while you haul your buts… or is it butts… out here in the

Whale
This just screams fun!  Unlike Sea World where there are just screams.

next few weeks there’s something new along the LIE!   I know…  excitement on the expressway!   No longer do you need to ignore your kids and spouses and declare they, “hold it in until exit 70.”     You now have the Long Island Visitors at Exit 52!   That nearly 18 exits sooner!!!  Yes, I’m good at math… I took Calculus 101 twice!     Anyway, “THE” answer is yes… they are clean bathrooms.    Plus, they have a a market featuring long island specialties and some fine cups of coffee too.    But for me, I had a whale of a good time just walking into the place (see photo).   It’s almost as fun as Sea World but nobody gets eaten by the giant fish!