Grab your gauchos and hit the beach East Hampton!!! News and exiles from Main St.!

Well there is one less empty space on East Hampton’s Main St. So who is it??? Who? Is it Hermes? Noooooooo! Is it Louis Vuitton? Nooooooooooo! Is it…. Lilly Pulitzer? HELLLLLOOOO! I said EAST HAMPTON not SOUTH! OK, here’s a hint. My mother in law … Mimi for those of you who know her… will be be tickled pink when she comes back from Boca about this news! Ok, enough. CHICOS! Now, for those of you who don’t know… it’s not a Mexican restaurant (that’s El Torito which would be great to have edible Mexican in East Hampton) it’s a woman’s clothing store! Call it a J. Crew for the mature woman. How does that sound!? I personally have never shopped at Chico’s although I do have a friend “______” who likes to occasionally wear Chico’s stuff but on Saturday evening’s only.

According to their website… “Chico’s was founded in 1983 as a small boutique selling Mexican folk art and cotton sweaters on Sanibel Island in Florida. Our friendly environment and unique styles connected with customers in a special way that quickly evolved into over 600 Chico’s boutiques nationwide, a monthly catalog, and round-the-clock shopping at” WHAT!?!?!? WARM AND FRIENDLY?!?!?!? This isn’t IOWA folks! It’s the Hamptons!!! Nice doesn’t play in these parts!!! I assume they’ll do attitude trainging for the East End clientle.

The location will be on the end of Main St., the former site of Prudential Douglas Elliman’s old stomping grounds. So the big question is why didn’t that other real estate company go into the spot? Apparently Fearless Leader along with Moose and Squirrel were spotted weeks ago measuring, designing and talking deals and then suddenly zippo!

Lights, Camera, Hamptons!!! Yes, SJP.. you won’t be the only one bringing home the bacon!

Well Ferris Bueller’s days off are finally over. Word has it that Matthew Jessica Broderick has signed up to star in a new series about the Hamptons. According to a report in Reuters, the actor who has been “long courted” by networks to do a television show has finally relented. (What networks where they?! History Channel, Lifetime or worse NBC?!) Yes, it’s NBC but after the great LENO experiment I guess they’re scrambling for anything to fill air!

Anyway, Jessica Broderick is attached to star in NBC’s comedy pilot “Beach Lane,” which was apparently given a green light Monday.

“Beach Lane,” is being produced by Universal Studios and Lorne Michaels’ Broadway Video… and if you have any doubt if it will be a quality project just rent the movies “Superstar, It’s Pat or A Night at the Roxbury! Yes, Mr. Michaels knows funny! The series will revolve around a celebrity author played by Jessica Broderick who is hired by an irresponsible millionaire heir to run his struggling small-town newspaper in the Hamptons. Sounds familiar huh?! Right?!

Now, ok “30 Rock” is one of the best shows on television but without Tina Fey, will this puppy fly? Broderick’s involvement in “Beach Lane” comes on the heels of his guest stint on NBC’s “30 Rock,” which is also produced by Michaels.

Michaels is executive producing “Beach Lane” with Marci (Calvin’s daughter) Klein, a coproducer on “30 Rock.”

So, now can I suggest some characters for the show?! I promise they won’t all be real estate agents but since they are the majority of the inhabitants out here…

Here’s two great characters for the show! In fact, let’s make them a couple who are high powered real estate agents who like going to restaurants, getting toasted and screaming to patrons to “f-ing google” their names!?! I envision lots of hilarity, bar fights and bitch slapping from this duo of characters, what do you think? I think Danny Devitio and Joan Rivers would be perfect casting!!!

Hmmmm… one more… how about the corrupt town mayor who skims money out of the town funds for personal pet projects and personal expenses!! He’ll be charming and suave. I see Larry David cast in this part!!!

OK, my last one… the lovable and dashingly handsome restaurateur who always buys dinner for a handsome and charming real estate blogger!!! I imagine Brad Pitt staring as the restaurant owner. Too obvious!?

If only they could have saved Mr. Ed from his humiliating fate on TV! Plus Ponzi is the key word in real estate!

It’s about the horses… insert Madonna joke here! This Saturday The Amaryllis Horse Rescue is hosting a Country Fair to benefit their horse sanctuary. It will be from 12:00-3:00 pm at Amaryllis Farm Equine Rescue’s Educational Barn, 93 Merchants Path off Sagg Rd, behind Wolffer Vineyard, Sagaponack. 100% of the proceeds benefit the Amaryllis Horse Sanctuary! In case you don’t know, Amaryllis Farm has rescued 90 horses from the glue factory and is devoted to educating the public about horses. Best thing is if you go to the fair you can actually meet some of the lucky horses. 631-537-7335

Finally some news about the real estate market and another tale to reassure you that you really do know more than most of those financial whizzes on Wall Street. An oceanfront house on Meadow Lane in Southampton Village, seized by the federal government after its owner was indicted for fraud, was sold recently for $25.9 million. It’s the highest closing price for a house in the Hamptons in nearly a year.

To get some perspective on the allegeed financial genius’s financial acumen. The house, which sits on 2 acres off Southampton’s posh Meadow Lane, was purchased for $27 million in December 2008 by James Nicholson(Mini-Madoff). Almost immediately after the purchase, Mr. Nicholson re-listed it for $34 million. In early spring, Nicholson was arrested on federal fraud charges for allegedly falsifying financial records of several hedge funds he operated. In case your bad at math… it sold for a less than what he paid for it… and about 10 million less than what he thought it was worth. Ohhhhh… can I give him my money!!!??? But just remember he hasn’t been convicted… so it may all be one big misunderstanding. Meanwhile… the real Madoff’s house has just gone on the market. Here’s a video tour of the rather simple oceanfront home!