HAMPTONS DINING IN THE TIME OF CORONOVIRUS!!

If you’re like me social distancing is starting to take a toll.   I’ve been cleaning my house and now I swear I’ve turned into a Hamptons gay Erma Bombeck or Prymate Conehead.  I hate housework, I hate cooking and I have nothing against a glass of wine at 12:01 pm.  In fact, I’m ready to throw in the towel with all of this domestic shit but I know that only means I’ll end of washing it.

But before I sound like I’m totally hausfrau, I want you to know I have a new attitude.  Kinda like Patti Labelle but with less dramatic hair.    I’m not cooking.  That’s right I’m not eating out but thanks to a few local folks who are braving the world to open their kitchens I can enjoy my meals again.    Seriously, this is great and I give these folks credit.   We all need to support local businesses in these troubling times.   So, get online or pick up the phone and order food to go from one these amazing places.  Besides you really don’t want another Stouffer’s lasagna anyway.

Roasted Cauliflower at Lulu

Lulu Kitchen and Bar – Sag Harbor – Available Wednesday to Sunday 3-8pm.   Make sure you try the Whole Roasted Cauliflower, Beef Bourguignon and the amazingly great freshly baked baguettes.   Click here for details or call 631-725-0900.

Page at 63 Main – Sag Harbor – Available Thursday to Tuesday 4:30-7:30 pm.   The dishes to order are the 5 Cheese Mac-n-Cheese and the Braised Beef Short Ribs.    I only wish the Coconut Cake was on the current menu!!!!    Click here for more information or call 631-725-1810

Fresno’s Salmon Tartare

Fresno Restaurant – East Hampton – Available Thursday through Monday 5:00-7:30pm with last orders taken at 7.    Make sure you try the Roasted Chicken Breast with Haricot Vert and Mashed… my go to feel good dish.  Also, I love the Pan Seared Salmon (also the Tartare) with cous-cous and buerre blanc.    Oh and make sure you get a side of the fries.  THEY MAKE SOME OF THE BEST FRENCH FRIES IN THE HAMPTONS.  Yes, there are some fries that are better than others!   Click here for details or call 631-324-8700

East Hampton Grill – East Hampton – Take out hours vary but open for lunch and dinner.   The Heavenly Biscuits, The Crispy Chicken Po-Boy and BBQ Ribs all travel well and are three of the most popular items on their menu.    Beer and wine are also available to go.  Click here for details or call 631-329-6666.

Peter Ambrose’s dinner of the day!

Events by Peter Ambrose – Sag Harbor – If you want something a little different try this service that offers different family style meals every day.   They’ll deliver right to your doorstep for $25.00 per person with a minimum of 2 + tax and delivery.   Some of Pete’s upcoming dishes are Wild Mushroom Ravioli with Truffle Mushroom Sauce and Roasted Turkey Breast with Dijon Aioli and pan gravy.   Click here for complete menu and more details or call 641-334-3090.

IF YOU WANT TO GET INVITED BACK FOR SUMMER 2020?

A few years ago, I gave some homeowners the ultimate guide (click here) to getting rid of those guests that just can’t take a hint.    You know the types, that turn a two day invitation into a living hell only to discuss extending their stay!   Well, today’s blog isn’t about how to get them to leave,  it’s about giving them parameters for being invited next summer!   Yep print this out and leave it on the dresser or send this blog link with a wink and a nod and say, “but you know I don’t mean YOU!”

So here you go, my attempt at preventing animosity, hurt feelings, bruised egos…

keebler elf
I don’t work in the Hamptons!

and most of all bloodshed.  This is the ultimate Hamptons chatter guide for  houseguests on HOW TO GET INVITED BACK!

1- Pick up your dishes!  The sink isn’t magic and those dishes you leave in the sink don’t get rinsed and put into the dishwasher by a group of unemployed Keebler elves.

This means your coffee cups, wine glasses, bagel dishes and jam crusted knives need YOU  to rinse them off and put them into the dishwasher!   If the said washer is dirty and the housekeeper has the day off, here’s a great way to earn brownie points… empty the thing!!!

2- Don’t use a new towel every ten minutes!    Most of us don’t have a full time staff or an unlimited supply of bath and beach towels.     One of the biggest complaints I hear from Hamptons homeowners is when guests go through the linen closet booty like tissue paper.

Try limiting your use to one beach/pool towel and one bath towel.   Unless you’re helping with the lawn or cleaning my septic tank, odds are you can hang your towels and reuse the next day!

3-Don’t drink (or eat) more than you bring –  If you bring one bottle of Boone’s Farm Blue Hawaiian wine feel free to drink it and offer your host a glass.  Do not take said Blue Hawaiian put it on a shelf and then proceed to drink all of my Sancerre.  That’s just not nice!    Buy a nice bottle of wine anytime you visit the Hamptons … it’s the right thing to do.  Also, if you plan on going on a bender, it’s a good idea to make it a case.

4- No fighting –  You might not think this needs to be mentioned but believe you me…. it’s worth bringing up.     If you want to be a good guest don’t fight with the hosts, don’t fight with the other guests and don’t fight with your companion.    This means avoid drinking too much, don’t talk about politics and religion and don’t be cranky.   Always remember, you got invited because your hosts enjoy your company…. be enjoyable!

5- If you’re in a bad mood or don’t feel like socializing don’t come!   Yes, most Hamptons homes have wi-fi.  Yes,  the guest rooms are comfortable.   Yes, most have central air.   But if that’s an excuse for staying in your room all day, why are you even there!!!!????     Stay in the city or check into a Holiday Inn express… you’ll feel smarter!

6 – Eat in the Kitchen – Do you do that at your own home?   Do not take Toasted Coconut Entenmann Donuts without a napkin into the bedroom or anywhere else around the house.    Also, eating your chicken salad sandwich with a side of guac and chips in the pool and hot tub is kind of a faux pas.

7- Wear clothes around the house –  I know.   I didn’t think this needed mentioning TOO but butts aren’t always good.   Especially if you’re sitting in someone’s living room.    But  then again if you look like a supermodel….

Now excuse me, as I wrap up this blog.  I’ll now get off my soapbox and put some of that soap in the washer and start cleaning more of your towels.

HOW TO BEAT THE TRAFFIC WHEN YOU’RE HUNRGY or HANGRY!!

Is it just me or does it seem like every car on the road right now is a Volvo with Vermont plates?  Not only that but they’re stopping cold in the middle of the road to make a right turn!!!?   SHOOT ME!    While I’m not a total misanthrope (PSAT study class word) ,  the idea of venturing into the wild wild world of the Hamptons in August is sometimes too much for me.  So what to do?!    Well finally there’s something new to say about the lame situation of food delivery out here!    UBER EATS has finally arrived… while the selection is a bit limited there are a few not too expensive standouts;  The Seafood Shop and

seafood shop
www.theseafoodshop.com

The Highway Diner in Wainscott and Buoy One Seafood in East Hampton.    All will bring fully cooked dinners right to your right door.    But if breakfast is your thing there’s also more to the skinny on getting chubby without leaving home. 

Grindstone Donuts in Sag Harbor is also delivering!!!   In case you’ve never been to Sag Harbor on a weekend morning and saw the line out the door, you know I have you’re attention on this!  I mean we’re talking “DONUTS.”   But if you think I’m talking “Dunkin,” you couldn’t be more wrong.      I’m talking a brioche style donut with flavors like smores, lemon poppy and classic glaze!    Recently I had the chance to stop by and talk to owner Kyle Shanahan about what brought him to town and why his a hole cut above the rest!

 

Finally, in addition to Uber Eats there are Chinese restaurants that I think are worth their weight in MSG.   Number 1 (631-726-8080) in Water Mill and Phoenix in Wainscott (631-537-0011).    There are a few others in the area but one of them actually has Immodium on the menu which to me is a big red flag…OK I’m kidding.   While my two recommendations aren’t exactly Shun Lee or Mr. Chow’s, they’re both good, hearty and reasonably priced.   Both are the best Chinese delivery in the HAMPTONS!  Although, that’s kind of like saying it’s the friendliest restaurant in France.

EH VILLAGE BEACH PASS UPDATE… & MY LIFE BEHIND BARS!

I can feel it!  The days are longer and the weekends are getting a little more crowded with city folk looking for their summer retreat.     So while we all enjoy the re-leaf of spring and increasing temperatures, it’s actually time for beach lovers to think about Summer!   Yep, those coveted East Hampton Village beach passes have been on sale for a

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2019 EH VILLAGE BEACH PASS

while now and the supplies are running low.   According to the folks at the Village Clerk’s offices there are currently less than 200 still available for the Summer ’19 season.   But don’t panic if you can’t make it out here to pick up your sticker.    You can go online and purchase your pass.     If you need the link, click here.    Remember, you need the pass to legally park at village beaches after 9 am to 4pm from May 15th to September 15th.   I know with the cold damp weather it might not seem like it,  but summer is approaching faster than you know.

Sometimes you really wanna go where everybody knows your name.   One way to ensure that will happens is to get in on what more and more Hamptons homeowners are discovering, bars are the new media rooms.   Yep, you heard me right!    It’s something I discovered for myself a few years ago when my partner and I bought our “spec” house in East Hampton.     In the family room was a big, bulky and industrial looking wet bar.   It felt like my college pub without the brokgreenhollowbaren glass and funky smell.    My first thought was to pull the sucker out but after our first get together we noticed this had become the focal point for the party.    Eventually, we renovated and changed the bar to its current state (pictured) where it is still the place everybody hangs!    It really makes entertaining fun and apparently I’m not the only one who think so.   In just the past few months I’ve listed homes both new and old with expansive set ups; wine fridges, sinks, dishwashers, ice machines, etc.    But most important of all buyers are looking for homes that have these entertaining centers.   I guess it’s all part of what author Faith Popcorn called cocooning.  Home is the place to be and people enjoy bringing the outside world into their homes.  Now if I could only get my dog to change his name to Norm.   Below some of the more impressive  (but far from the only) bars currently on the market.  It’s a far cry from that 1970s basement version with the budweiser light and shag carpet.

Lower Level entertaining at 633 Hedges Lane, Sagaponack.  $9,995,000.  Listed by Douglas Elliman… yours truly!    Click for more details.

633_Hedges_Lane__Sagaponack_(10)

Arts and Crafts coolness at 44 Little Noyac Path, Water Mill.   $5,950,000.   Listed by Douglas Elliman Joe Piccininni  Click Here for more. 

JoeP

Rooftop cocktails at 6 Union Street, Sag Harbor.  $7,495,000.   Listed by Compass Kathy Zappola & Scott Strough.  Click here for details.

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CHEERS!!!