ANSWERING SAG’S KNEAD FOR DOUGH… AND IT’S THE ____ OF THE HAMPTONS.

I hope it doesn’t sound too too cheesy,  but I’ve been working on some snappy lines about the newest restaurant to open its doors in Sag Harbor.    Yes, I know I need to work on my delivery.    Anyway, for now I’ll just give you a piece of my mind about Sag Pizza.

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11am and they’re lining up!

Located in the site of the former Conca D’oro (they even kept the sign),  the newly renovated and sleekly designed restaurant opened it’s doors to a hungry horde earlier today.   Perhaps it’s because it’s from the same folks that brought us LT Burger that had them lining up outside an hour before a single pie was tossed.   So, how is it?   I thought it was pretty darn good, especially since they were only opened for about an hour.    While I heard some grumbling about having to wait in line to get a slice, it’s the first day folks!   I’m sure they know there’s mushroom for improvement and given the folks running the place,  they’ll get there soon enough.   Now, to the really important part… the food itself.    I had a slice of the margherita and one of the pepperoni.   Both were made with fresh mozzarella and sauce on a thin crust that was nicely complimented by a slight smoky

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Sagpizza.com

flavor from the wood burning oven.   Overall, a solid slice and a welcome addition to Sag Harbor.      If you want more menu information, click on the restaurants website here.    Let me know what YOU think.

You know how when you go to any town in the U.S. and the locals have a funny way of referring to their community,   you know like in Bayonne you’ll meet someone and they’ll tell you how “people call us the Paris of New Jersey!”    Hmmm, while I’m not sure I usually agree with these analogies I will tell you, I do have a few of my own about certain things in the Hamptons.    In fact, I asked some of my friends if they had some quaint ways to refer to the sites and sounds of the Hamptons.   Here are a few of my favorites:

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Madison and Main

Madison and Main Sag Harbor is the 42nd and Broadway of the Hamptons.    With pedestrians that don’t look, drivers who don’t know how to drive and more cars than these two streets can handle,  I can see it.      Hit that intersection on a Saturday at 7pm in July and August and you’ll be looking for the dirty Elmo to come take his picture with your kids for $5.

Stop and Shop stores are the DMV of the Hamptons.  Perhaps it’s the long lines.    It could also be the parking lot that’s full with the mayhem and madness of novice drivers.  Maybe it’s the cranky cashiers or maybe it’s the fact you really don’t want to buy the produce at either that this comparison makes sense.   Either way, I’m not a fan of either and they apparently bought their dingy lighting from the same place.

Gucci pants, shoes, shirt and an Hermes belt are the Garanimals of the Hamptons.    Remember those kids who used to eat the glue in 3rd grade?    The ones who were lucky enough to have their mother tell them to always make sure they wear a giraffe pants with a giraffe shirt?!   Well some of them grew up and now live in the Hamptons.   Yes, t

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It matches!!!!

hey’re here and still dressing with the same amount of thought as they did when they were in phonics class.    It’s a thoughtless uniform but with a more expensive flair.     By the way, I would wear these Garanimals too if I had the money to spare.

Tesla is the Honda of the Hamptons.   If you live in a normal part of the world you go out to dinner, the movies or wherever and you park in a lot that’s probably Honda heavy.    It’s a good car.  It’s a sensible car.    It’s also the vehicle, 90 percent of your friends drive in the rest of the world.    Well this isn’t Cherry Hill here.    It’s the Hamptons.    Yes, sensible has a different look here on the East End.    But hey, I do like these cars.   I’m not knocking them.   BUT, if only there was a supercharging station closer than Southampton.

Amagansett is the Tribeca of the Hamptons.    It’s young, it’s hip, it’s loaded with celebs, it’s trendy and the coffee shops are so hip they hurt!    I hope I don’t need to explain this further.     If you don’t believe me, stop by Jack’s coffee anytime from now to Labor day.   Oh, and if you ever see a guy wearing gap khaki shorts and a polo shirt who stands out like a sore thumb in town…. that’s me.

 

 

 

 

I STILL CAN’T HEAR YOU… CITARELLA IS GOING WHERE?!

Voice mail a day late, dropped called, unsent text messages and lots of screaming “Can you hear me now!?” Yes, phone service is that bad in the Hamptons.     If you’re curious how bad, look no further than the map right below.  It’s from a website called Open Signal  (you can click here)and it details just how difficult it is to get a call through on the East End.  To add more fuel to the fire, consider the surge of summer visitors (all with smart phones) which tax an already inadequateScreen Shot 2018-08-01 at 4.28.30 PM number of cell towers to the point where communicating is virtually impossible.  But it’s more than just a problem with AT&T, Verizon or T-mobile.    We the residents of the Hamptons need to speak out to our elected officials and say, allow new towers to go up.    It’s not a matter of cell phones being a luxury, they are a necessity not only in business and basic communications but in safety as well.   So many residents out here don’t even have land lines and the spotty service is now endangering lives.     Our officials are doing what we on the East End tell them to do.  But enough is enough, we need to bite the bullett and run the risk of having towers in our own back yards so perhaps we can avoid a tragedy before it happens.

Meanwhile, there is a big rumor floating around Sag Harbor.   Unfortunately, I’m having

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Citarella East Hampton

a hard time confirming but several well placed sources have told me Citarella will soon be landing in the village.    I don’t want to say where it will be going but thank heaven you folks don’t need me to tell you.      So, is it a good thing or bad thing?   That depends upon who you ask.   I will say it’s almost as controversial as when CVS was coming to town.  Look for some shuttered doors in the fall and the market to be going into the vacant spaces after a major renovation.

 

 

LULU REOPENS!

It started with a spark and became a night of blazing suspense!    Lulu in Sag Harbor which was the site of a fire last month will reopen it’s doors today at 6pm!   In case you

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Lulu Kitchen Sag Harbor is back in action!

 

missed it, the fire started in a small storage closet on the 81st floor and jeopardized party goers on the top floor “Promenade Room.”    But thanks to the quick thinking fire chief O’Halloran and the architect Doug Roberts who evacuated the party goers by rigging the scenic elevator, a breeches buoy and finally by exploding water tanks on the roof lives were saved!   Wait, err… that was the Towering Inferno!    Ok, after a kitchen fire and repair for some smoke damage, Lulu in Sag Harbor will be open once again to diners starting tonight at 6pm.

I like the Towering Inferno version better.

 

IS THE BUOY A BUST?? PLUS, HAPPY AS A CLAM IN EAST HAMPTON.

After floating gossip it seems, Bagel Buoy in Sag Harbor is no longer sunk.
The Village staple shuttered it’s doors or rather the lox were changed earlier this week.  A “notice of closure” was posted on the door and that had lips flapping all over town.

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Bobba Bye Buoy!?

While I am not a huge fan of Bagel Buoy and the surly staff it’s always sad to see this sort of thing happen.   Rumor has it a deal is in the works to bring Goldberg’s Bagels to the Bay Street location.   If you take a look at what they’ve done with the nightmare that was “Twice Upon a Bagel” in Wainscott, we can all rest easy knowing we’ll still have a good place to nosh!   But the story isn’t over yet, apparently the buoy was bobbing with business earlier today.   So grab your popcorn this battle of the bagels has apparently just begun.

Meanwhile, the site of the former “Service Station” (loved the salads and sandwiches) has reopened as the Quiet Clam 2.0 earlier this week.

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Have you ever met a noisy clam?

While I haven’t been in yet, my spies say it’s actually worth a visit. The menu is a throw back to when the establishment was “The Quiet Clam” before it was “Nichol’s” back in the last century. Yes, they have clams on the menu along with burgers, pizzas and more. I promise I’ll have more to come. But from what I’ve been hearing on social media the place will be getting a thumbs up.

UPDATE:   I went in and it was “meh.”  Right now there is no liquor license so it’s BYOB.   The lunch menu was limited and there were NO clams but the dinner version seems a bit more promising.   I’ll have to go back when they get their act together.

Finally, in case you missed it EMP House reservations went on lin

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$95 and NO Doritos bag!?

e earlier this week via an American Express website. Well if you snooze you lose and I apparently snoozed. After going live at 9am, by noon the only slots left available were at 5 pm or 10 pm. While this might not pose a problem if you’re 25 or 85 years old, the rest of us younger side of middle age folks (no comments from the peanut gallery) are S.O.L. While there still be walk-ins available for the picnic tables in the back, my attention is more focused on something called the “Taco Experience” for $95 – $125 per person. I’m just hoping that tequila is included with that number!  Hahahahhahhhahhaahhhhahah. I know it’s the Hamptons!