3 HINTS TO RENT YOUR HOUSE THIS SUMMER AND BAD WEATHER, NO PROBLEM – LET’S GOLF!

Every now and then this blog is inspired by the muses.  But first I need to clarify, I’m   talking about that Olivia Newton-John kind of muse, not by the classic Greek muses.     So what was my latest inspiration?  Was it to quit my job and open an elaborately decorated roller-disco?  No, it was to help you my friends!  Help you turn your house into an actual Xanadu that people will want to rent this summer!

1-  Make sure the house is uncluttered and neutralized.    By neutralized I mean take all of those quirky little decorative choices you’ve made and turn them into a Pottery Barn dream!   Floral patterns are a no.   Besides, Laura Ashley has been dead since 1985.  It’s time to move on.   Think basic, basic, basic; monochromatic bed spreads, curtains and

Floral
Yeah, nothing says summer rental like flowers!

carpeting.      Also, put away all of those family photos that litter your foyer, bedroom and den.    Yes, you can tell potential renters you’re going to put them away but it’s better to make it look like an easy task rather than relocating the National Portrait Gallery.     Speaking of art, that thing on the refrigerator isn’t that good and your kid is no Renoir.   Give it to Grandma.  Besides, she loves that ####, go ahead and make her day.

2 – Now that your house doesn’t look like the before from an episode of “Horders,”  call a photographer and have the home professionally shot.    You get what you pay for and it’s worth it.    You’ll get better money if the house shines and it won’t shine if you take photos from your iphone or Polaroid Swinger.      Talk to your real estate agent and ask for suggestions.  I’m sure they’ll be able to provide you with a few names.

3- Speaking of real estate agents… make sure they know you’re on the market for rent.   That means get it into the local database and unless you’re living in the Taj Mahal it’s a good idea to make sure you keep it as an “open listing.”    No agent is going to retire from the 10% you pay on the rental lease so at least make it an enticing proposition.     More and more agents are putting listings into the system as “exclusive rentals” and that’s a mistake.    You’ve just drastically reduced your potential showings.  But if the idea of meeting agents or giving out keys makes you nervous, hire an agent and have them list your property at compelling split with the other agents.   That means, you’re listing agent takes 20% and the agent who brings the tenant get’s 80% of the 10%.    Think about it this way, agents are not doing this as a hobby, they want to make money.   Make it worth it!

So once you get your house ready for rental, I’m sure a few of you out there would like nothing more than to relax with a nice round of golf.   But if the idea of flying to Florida seems too daunting a task (I’m assuming you don’t want to golf with snow on the ground), you may want to just take your clubs and head to Toilsome Rd. in East Hampton for a visit with PGA Pro Eric Schultzel.   His training facility there is completely indoors and weather is no problem.     Click the video below to get a little preview.

Visiting Eric’s Golf Simulator Studio from Patrick Mclaughlin on Vimeo.

You can also click here to visit Eric’s site or give him a call at 631-527-5959

 

 

 

 

DKSH & GOOP TOO! THE HARBOR GETS A CELEBRITY INFLUX …. PLUS THE ART OF STAGING!

 

muse sag
Tutto Il Giorno – Coming soon to Sag Harbor

While the weather outside is still a loooooong way from summer, things are apparently heating up in Sag Harbor.    The big gossip? That the site of the former restaurant Muse will soon be a new outpost for DKNY and her daughter’s Tutto Il Giorno restaurant.    Apparently the designer with the garlic touch is close to inking a deal to buy the building next to the laundromat and Yummilicious for a little under $6 million bucks.   The space which also has a small retail space to the side will also be the future home of the retail store Urban Zen which according to their own facebook page features, “A philosophy of living inspired by Donna Karan. “I have spent decades dressing people. Now I want to address them.”  I swear it says that!   You can’t make this stuff up!   But what ever you think, the food at Tutto rocks!  Good news for the Harbor.

 

 

Switching now to really annoying quotes from rich people.   Everyone’s least favorite celebrity, Goop will be moving into the site currently occupied by Urban Zen on Bay St.   My head already hurts form this news.  I really hope it’s just gossip but I do believe my sources.    Yes, Gwyneth Paltrow the woman who claims she learned about discrimination from donning a fat suit in Shallow Hal is coming to Sag Harbor.    OH! She also said with a straight face “being on set is more difficult than being an ordinary working mom.” Yes, that Oscar winning cultural guru is bringing her absurdly priced retail items to the Hamptons again (Amagansett dodged the bullet ).     Oh joy!    I don’t know what to say.  In one year we lose Conca d’Oro and instead get the woman responsible for these pearls of wisdom.  Insert crying, eye-rolling, sick, laughing emoji here!

 

goop
“The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the American’s. – GP

Well enough about celebrity real estate and let’s talk about real real estate.  Like what to do to help you get that house sold!  Recently I brought my friend Susan Beard who is a local designer and stager to help me with this listing here.   It was no easy task but she was up to the challenge and helped the owners and me bring this East Hampton home from shab to fab (insert eye roll emoji here).    Seriously though, she did a great job.

 

 

If you want to contact Susan about helping you sell or design advice, e mail her at susan.beard@gmail.com

 

 

 

SAG HARBOR IS IN DANGER… COOKIES AND BROWNIES WITH NO GUILT!!!

I’m starting to feel like the Terence Malick of bloggers right now.    In fact, I feel I’m in my “Tree of Life” phase, minus Brad Pitt and with even less enthusiasm from the audience.   But as my fortune cookie said the other day, “you must try or hate yourself for not trying.”  So here I am trying to bang out my ever so entertaining latest installment of “HAMPTONS CHATTER.”   – crickets –

Anyway, what everyone seems to be really discussing in my part of the world is about how Sag Harbor has turned a corner.   I’ve been nestled in Sag Harbor’s Main Street for the better part of 12 years (more on that later) and enjoyed it’s sophisticated small town feel.   From the “five and dime” to home design stores to the Golden Pear coffee shop, it was “hello”… “good morning”…. “have a good day.”    But as Whoopi said in the movie “Ghost,”   – –  “Sag Harbor, you’re in danger girl.”

The main culprit from what I hear is that “new restaurant” that shall remain unnamed.   According to reliable sources, just because the place is empty doesn’t mean they want your unpretentious butt sitting at one of their tables.   More than a few of my city and local friends have gone in only to be told, “we’re full!”    Wow!   I actually was curious and went to YELP to read some of the reviews.   I swear I remember reading them and they were pretty much the same thing, rude staff that had more attitude than Katherine Heigle at a “Grey’s Anatomy” reunion.   But guess what?! I went back to re-read these reviews (I wanted to post them here) and now I can’t find them!  Now I don’t want to start any sort of conspiracy here but …. seriously… unless I’m totally losing it they’ve gone MIA.   Anyway, I will ask is the food really that good?    I’m not a masochist anyway and I doubt a serving of moules et frites will change my life.  So, for now I’m happy going to the Sizzler Steakhouse.

My advice – – guys lighten up!  The great thing about Sag Harbor is it’s a friendly town with not a whole lotta attitude.     Yes, you’re the new kid in town and lots of overdressed and socially insecure people are posting  tons of photos on Instagram, blah blah blah.     “Look I got in and you didn’t!!!”   But this stuff wears thin when most of us are busy worrying about more mundane things like our families, health and paying bills.  Believe me the folks who are getting in WILL care when they’re the only people in the place.   Otherwise, they wouldn’t be posting their dinners on line!    “Look I got in… and I’m the only one here – because nobody really wants to be here” doesn’t have quite the same sexy allure.     I’ve seen it before over and over in the Hamptons and it will happen to you too… too much attitude can be the kiss of death.

Meanwhile, I was getting my morning coffee at Goldberg’s in Wainscott – a friendly place but I don’t eat carbs (lying).    When I came across the most interesting and delicious looking brownie.   Now remember, I don’t eat carbs or sweets (lying again) but when I read the story about this amazing bakery I felt the need to eat… I mean contribute.   It’s called South Fork Bakery.   According to their website:

South Fork Bakery’s purpose is to provide meaningful and
supportive employment to South Fork residents
with ADHD, Auditory Processing Disorders, Autism and
Developmental Disabilities. Employees are immersed
in all aspects of the business, including baking, packaging,
sales, marketing, and business management.

SOUTH FORK BAKER
SOUTH FORK BAKERY GOODIES

What a great idea and the brownies and cookies are great too (or so I heard – as I wipe brownie crumbs from my mouth)!    If you want more information click here!  You can also order products online.   So do something good for others and enjoy.    This stuff is better than moules et frites any day!

 

After more than 14 years in Sag Harbor I’ve decided to make a change.     I am now so very proud to be a member of Sotheby’s International Realty in East Hampton.    Located at 6 Main St.     Make sure to note it in your yellow pages book extra page, rolodex and filofax.   Now pick up that princess phone and give me a call.   You can google the number.

 

“THE” HAMPTONS ACCESSORY FOR THIS SUMMER…. AND SAG HARBOR’S LATEST EATERY!

While we just had a killer weekend in the Hamptons with warm temperatures, sunny skies and enough people you’d think it was 4th of July weekend…. the real story this past week was in Sag Harbor.   No, I’m not talking about the overly dressed folks with neck damaging bonnets strolling around Main Street.    I’m talking about the stuff that makes a difference and not with a chiropractor.

First of all the big story was the fact that the Sag Harbor Cinema was optioned for purchase by a non-profit group known as The Sag Harbor Partnership.   The group is hoping to make it into a local media and arts center, with screening rooms, classrooms

Hats2
FASHIONABLE AND FOR A GOOD CAUSE!

and an arts movie theater.   One way they’re trying to reach their multi-million dollar purchase price is through donations.     While there has already been at least one pledge of $1 million from one very generous supporter, the group is also welcoming more humble contributions..   One way you can contribute and for a lot less zeros in your checkbook is to head to Sylvester and Co. on Main Street in Sag Harbor and purchase one of these chic little chapeaus.    The “Sag” hat is selling for $29.00 and for each hat purchased $5 will go toward saving the cinema.    Hey, they’re chic they’re limited edition and they’re for a good cause.     But if you’re one of those fancy pants who is worried about the whole memorial day and white thing, relax white hats will be in stock by the end of the month.

Another stir in Sag Harbor is about the new restaurant at the site of the for

IMG_0151
A SNEAK PEEK AT “LULU.”

mer Doppio (that wasn’t an editorial comment about management of the failed establishment… they really named it that).     Wall Street big wig Marc Rowan from Apollo Management and the man behind Duryea’s in Montauk and Arbor is staking his claim in the village with “Lulu.” From what I’ve been told and read in “other publications” the vibe will be more casual with a menu of American fare featuring foods from a wood burning oven such as pizza, chicken and local fish.   It works for me.    So, if you’re wondering if the new restaurant will have a chic new look… you bet cha’.    I took a snap quick pick the other day and here is your look at Lulu. Look for an opening in the next two weeks and if you want to check their website… here it is.   They also have a facebook page with updates and information.

FinAluminum-Speed-Limit-Sign-K-2085ally while you may be wanting to rush to LULU or to buy your hat at SYLVESTER AND CO., I’m telling you that’s a bad idea.   The village recently installed 20 m.p.h. signs throughout town.    So slow down and don’t say I didn’t tell you.     They mean business in Sag.    Besides aren’t you here on vacation anyway?????????  TIME TO SLOW DOWN FOLKS!