I STILL CAN’T HEAR YOU… CITARELLA IS GOING WHERE?!

Voice mail a day late, dropped called, unsent text messages and lots of screaming “Can you hear me now!?” Yes, phone service is that bad in the Hamptons.     If you’re curious how bad, look no further than the map right below.  It’s from a website called Open Signal  (you can click here)and it details just how difficult it is to get a call through on the East End.  To add more fuel to the fire, consider the surge of summer visitors (all with smart phones) which tax an already inadequateScreen Shot 2018-08-01 at 4.28.30 PM number of cell towers to the point where communicating is virtually impossible.  But it’s more than just a problem with AT&T, Verizon or T-mobile.    We the residents of the Hamptons need to speak out to our elected officials and say, allow new towers to go up.    It’s not a matter of cell phones being a luxury, they are a necessity not only in business and basic communications but in safety as well.   So many residents out here don’t even have land lines and the spotty service is now endangering lives.     Our officials are doing what we on the East End tell them to do.  But enough is enough, we need to bite the bullett and run the risk of having towers in our own back yards so perhaps we can avoid a tragedy before it happens.

Meanwhile, there is a big rumor floating around Sag Harbor.   Unfortunately, I’m having

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Citarella East Hampton

a hard time confirming but several well placed sources have told me Citarella will soon be landing in the village.    I don’t want to say where it will be going but thank heaven you folks don’t need me to tell you.      So, is it a good thing or bad thing?   That depends upon who you ask.   I will say it’s almost as controversial as when CVS was coming to town.  Look for some shuttered doors in the fall and the market to be going into the vacant spaces after a major renovation.

 

 

LULU REOPENS!

It started with a spark and became a night of blazing suspense!    Lulu in Sag Harbor which was the site of a fire last month will reopen it’s doors today at 6pm!   In case you

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Lulu Kitchen Sag Harbor is back in action!

 

missed it, the fire started in a small storage closet on the 81st floor and jeopardized party goers on the top floor “Promenade Room.”    But thanks to the quick thinking fire chief O’Halloran and the architect Doug Roberts who evacuated the party goers by rigging the scenic elevator, a breeches buoy and finally by exploding water tanks on the roof lives were saved!   Wait, err… that was the Towering Inferno!    Ok, after a kitchen fire and repair for some smoke damage, Lulu in Sag Harbor will be open once again to diners starting tonight at 6pm.

I like the Towering Inferno version better.

 

IS THE BUOY A BUST?? PLUS, HAPPY AS A CLAM IN EAST HAMPTON.

After floating gossip it seems, Bagel Buoy in Sag Harbor is no longer sunk.
The Village staple shuttered it’s doors or rather the lox were changed earlier this week.  A “notice of closure” was posted on the door and that had lips flapping all over town.

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Bobba Bye Buoy!?

While I am not a huge fan of Bagel Buoy and the surly staff it’s always sad to see this sort of thing happen.   Rumor has it a deal is in the works to bring Goldberg’s Bagels to the Bay Street location.   If you take a look at what they’ve done with the nightmare that was “Twice Upon a Bagel” in Wainscott, we can all rest easy knowing we’ll still have a good place to nosh!   But the story isn’t over yet, apparently the buoy was bobbing with business earlier today.   So grab your popcorn this battle of the bagels has apparently just begun.

Meanwhile, the site of the former “Service Station” (loved the salads and sandwiches) has reopened as the Quiet Clam 2.0 earlier this week.

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Have you ever met a noisy clam?

While I haven’t been in yet, my spies say it’s actually worth a visit. The menu is a throw back to when the establishment was “The Quiet Clam” before it was “Nichol’s” back in the last century. Yes, they have clams on the menu along with burgers, pizzas and more. I promise I’ll have more to come. But from what I’ve been hearing on social media the place will be getting a thumbs up.

UPDATE:   I went in and it was “meh.”  Right now there is no liquor license so it’s BYOB.   The lunch menu was limited and there were NO clams but the dinner version seems a bit more promising.   I’ll have to go back when they get their act together.

Finally, in case you missed it EMP House reservations went on lin

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$95 and NO Doritos bag!?

e earlier this week via an American Express website. Well if you snooze you lose and I apparently snoozed. After going live at 9am, by noon the only slots left available were at 5 pm or 10 pm. While this might not pose a problem if you’re 25 or 85 years old, the rest of us younger side of middle age folks (no comments from the peanut gallery) are S.O.L. While there still be walk-ins available for the picnic tables in the back, my attention is more focused on something called the “Taco Experience” for $95 – $125 per person. I’m just hoping that tequila is included with that number!  Hahahahhahhhahhaahhhhahah. I know it’s the Hamptons!

3 HINTS TO RENT YOUR HOUSE THIS SUMMER AND BAD WEATHER, NO PROBLEM – LET’S GOLF!

Every now and then this blog is inspired by the muses.  But first I need to clarify, I’m   talking about that Olivia Newton-John kind of muse, not by the classic Greek muses.     So what was my latest inspiration?  Was it to quit my job and open an elaborately decorated roller-disco?  No, it was to help you my friends!  Help you turn your house into an actual Xanadu that people will want to rent this summer!

1-  Make sure the house is uncluttered and neutralized.    By neutralized I mean take all of those quirky little decorative choices you’ve made and turn them into a Pottery Barn dream!   Floral patterns are a no.   Besides, Laura Ashley has been dead since 1985.  It’s time to move on.   Think basic, basic, basic; monochromatic bed spreads, curtains and

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Yeah, nothing says summer rental like flowers!

carpeting.      Also, put away all of those family photos that litter your foyer, bedroom and den.    Yes, you can tell potential renters you’re going to put them away but it’s better to make it look like an easy task rather than relocating the National Portrait Gallery.     Speaking of art, that thing on the refrigerator isn’t that good and your kid is no Renoir.   Give it to Grandma.  Besides, she loves that ####, go ahead and make her day.

2 – Now that your house doesn’t look like the before from an episode of “Horders,”  call a photographer and have the home professionally shot.    You get what you pay for and it’s worth it.    You’ll get better money if the house shines and it won’t shine if you take photos from your iphone or Polaroid Swinger.      Talk to your real estate agent and ask for suggestions.  I’m sure they’ll be able to provide you with a few names.

3- Speaking of real estate agents… make sure they know you’re on the market for rent.   That means get it into the local database and unless you’re living in the Taj Mahal it’s a good idea to make sure you keep it as an “open listing.”    No agent is going to retire from the 10% you pay on the rental lease so at least make it an enticing proposition.     More and more agents are putting listings into the system as “exclusive rentals” and that’s a mistake.    You’ve just drastically reduced your potential showings.  But if the idea of meeting agents or giving out keys makes you nervous, hire an agent and have them list your property at compelling split with the other agents.   That means, you’re listing agent takes 20% and the agent who brings the tenant get’s 80% of the 10%.    Think about it this way, agents are not doing this as a hobby, they want to make money.   Make it worth it!

So once you get your house ready for rental, I’m sure a few of you out there would like nothing more than to relax with a nice round of golf.   But if the idea of flying to Florida seems too daunting a task (I’m assuming you don’t want to golf with snow on the ground), you may want to just take your clubs and head to Toilsome Rd. in East Hampton for a visit with PGA Pro Eric Schultzel.   His training facility there is completely indoors and weather is no problem.     Click the video below to get a little preview.

Visiting Eric’s Golf Simulator Studio from Patrick Mclaughlin on Vimeo.

You can also click here to visit Eric’s site or give him a call at 631-527-5959