MY HOLIDAY GIFT TO YOU! PLUS HARVEY AND THE HAMPTONS!

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This is what a plane looks like.  flyfrontier.com

I know the weather outside is getting more and more frightful.   In fact, the thought of shoveling driveways, cold wet feet and darkness at 3:30pm has you completely depressed and overwhelmed.    I know!  I know… I feel you!   But before you call the doctor to “up” your daily dosage of “vitamin Z” (zoloft), read this blog.     It will bring you comfort and joy.   DISCLAIMER: please don’t go off your meds folks, while I’m a joy for my family and at least 2 of my friends, my suggestions here are not meant to be any sort of medical diagnosis so put down the phone.   Jacoby & Myers have more important lawsuits pending.

Ok, so what’s my advice to put sunshine back in your life?    Go visit flyfrontier.com and book yourself a flight to the sunshine state for as little as $35 dollars!   Yes, you heard that right.    For about the same cost as taking the jitney to midtown, you can instead haul you butts to Islip Airport (the easiest airport on the planet) hop on a plane and be in West Palm Beach, Miami or Ft. Myers in about 3 hours.    So, the ride is about the same amount of time as a jitney as well.    I will tell you the flights are no frills and you must pay for any additional baggage (checked, carry-on and emotional).    In fact, while I was writing this I just got a quote for a flight from Islip to West Palm in January

for $108 round trip!  Now, that doesn’t include taxes or my baggage from growing up as the youngest of 6 in suburban New Jersey.       From what I gathered, these rates will likely go up in the not too distant future but in the meantime stop complaining about the weather!

If you’re not lucky enough to have the time or ability to hop on a flight to Florida and are instead heading to the Hamptons, you’re not alone.     I call it the “Hurricane Harvey.” Because, for the first time ever, I had multiple rental inquiries for the week between Christmas and New Years!    I’m not sure why Mr. Weinstein’s exploits have convinced peopl

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This is what a food truck looks like!

e to “staycation” this holiday season but it’s kind of weird considering we also had a hurricane of the same name wipe out more than a few resorts in the Caribbean.      Word to the wise here, if you’re planning on being out here the week between the holidays and want to go out to eat, MAKE RESERVATIONS!   It’s going to be crowded.     It’s traditionally a busy week but a few of my restaurant buddies have said reservations are up over last year.

 

Speaking of eating out.   I mean really eating out.  Like outside …. in the cold…

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This is what a taco looks like!

OUTSIDE.    You might have noticed a food truck recently on the grounds of the Milk Pail in Water Mill.    For those of you not brave enough to stop, I’ve done some snooping for you and discovered it’s a taco truck.   It’s called AJI Authentic Mexican Food.   Ok, they have more than tacos and the food is pretty good.   The hours seem to have a lot to do with if the weather is good and traffic wasn’t too heavy.    So if you’re driving east, see the truck and have a hankering for a good taco, burrito or nachos stop by.     It’s not the best you’ll ever have but it won’t disappoint and it’s kinda fun!

 

 

 

 

HATE CROWDS? NO RESERVATIONS?! NO PROBLEM!! A QUICK GUIDE TO HAMPTONS DELIVERY!

One of the things I like least about summer in the Hamptons is the crowds.   While I’m not an agoraphobic, the idea of dealing with traffic and pushy patrons is sometimes more than I can handle. Besides, I get extreme guilt leaving my dogs behind… because they like to party as much as the next animal.  So, unlike NYC where you can have a cup of coffee delivered for free, finding door to door service out east is a little more difficult.   Virtually nobody delivers in the Hamptons. I know White’s Pharmacy delivers… but cough drops and Metamucil don’t quite satisfy my hunger like they should.   What do you do when your cupboards are bare, traffic is backed up and everybody is hungry?   Well, here’s the skinny on getting chubby without leaving home…..

There are two.. repeat only TWO Chinese restaurants that I think are worth the weight in MSG. Number 1 (631-726-8080) in Water Mill and Pheonix in Wainscott (631-537-0011).    There are a few others in the area but one of them actually has Immodium on the menu which to me is a big red flag…OK I’m kidding.   While my two recommendations aren’t exactly Shun Lee or Mr. Chow’s, they’re both good, hearty and reasonably priced.  My personal favorites are the “scallion pancakes” at Pheonix and the “spicy chicken and broccoli” at #1.    Both are the best Chinese delivery in the HAMPTONS!  Although, that’s kind of like saying it’s the friendliest restaurant in France.

When it’ comes to Pizza. There are no Domino’s in the Hamptons. Which is a good thing. But darn it, why is it so hard to get a pizza brought to your door on a rainy Saturday night!?   Well there are only a few choices for delivery pizza at a good price.  In Montauk, you have Sausages (631-668-1144) .. In Bridgehampton there’s American Pie (631-613-6177) in the Commons and Southampton has Paul’s (631-283-1861) and Melrose East.   In East Hampton you have Pizza and Things Spring’s Pizza. Customers like it for their reasonable prices, friendly staff and fresh ingredients (631) 324-7974.

Also in East Hampton, the Red Horse Market will deliver groceries or prepared foods with a $100 minimum purchase.  I’m pretty sure you can get them to bring one of their pizzas to the door as well.  By the way, throw a fresh mozzarella in there for good measure and melt some extra on the pie.

If you’re looking for something a little more exotic you can try Saaz in Southampton.    They deliver and according to some, they’ll go all the way to East Hampton.    That’s a good thing too since the New York Times raved the food is “uniformly excellent… a long overdue addition to Hamptons dining.”     Saaz – (631) 259-2222 – is located just as you come into Southampton on CR 39 at the former site of Mason Ole  – where Montezuma always got his revenge!      Saaz is a much better welcome to the east end!

While I’m sure there are others that may deliver, this is the list I came up with based on my own personal experience and those I know around town.

What’s New in the Hamptons Hood ’14… or What Happened While You Spent The Winter with People!

It has nothing to do with Nixon or Kung Fu pandadiplomacy.com

While the folks over at Curbed Hamptons talk about all the new restaurants this year, I decided to go a different direction and talk about all the other stuff!     Which calls to mind, I once had a very successful client in my car some time back talking about all things Hamptons.  As we drove by the East Hampton movie theatre he asked me, “Kung Fu Panda’, what’s that about?”   Really?  He wasn’t kidding. Isn’t it obvious that its a morality tale about a poor tailor and his struggle with alcoholism set in pre war Europe! UH… Kidding!  It’s a frigging cartoon about a Panda that knows Kung Fu!   So, that being said, I wonder what they’re going to think when they drive by Panda Diplomacy in Water Mill!   website.  It’ looks pretty cool and I have no doubt it’s what everyone will be wearing at The American Hotel this summer!  Ok, well maybe not there.  The wax museum has it’s own separate dress code.  Well, for those of you that don’t know it’s a surfing apparel, boards and accessories store.   Located at 760 Montauk Highway in Water Mill, better known as the shopping center where there used to be Blockbuster-Citarella-Water Mill Cupcake-Avanti-Subway-Foodies and the soon to be opened West Elm Shopping Center.    If you want more info on surfing pandas, check out the

Citarella has hit Southampton!   While it’s not a “full fledged” supermarket according to sources.   It is no doubt a welcome addition to a town that has the second worst supermarket in the Hamptons Walbaum’s which only comes after Walbaum’s in East Hampton.  The store got approved earlier this
month by the Southampton Village Planning board and quickly settled into their Hampton Street location.   While some locals have voiced their concern over the potential parking problems let me accentuate the positive, THEY HAVE FRESH FOOD!

Another newcomer is located on Main St. in Bridgehampton and it’s called BLOW.  No, it’s not that kind of place!  Get your minds out of the gutter people… this isn’t Nevada!  It’s a hair salon that’s specializing in blow outs for ladies and the occasional puffy haired gentleman about to kick up their heels at the given Hamptons benefit!    If you want more information on getting glamours you can check out their website here!    If you want the other kind you need to get on a plane and head to Vegas or perhaps Amsterdam (ohhhh Amsterdam… more on that later… apparently the Dutch love the Hamptons).

If you’re like me one of the greatest things about living out east is not the surf, the beaches, world class boating, golf or even the lack of good cell phone reception.   It’s the fact we have some of the best damn food anywhere.  One of those that has a reputation of being the best of the best is Tate’s Bakery and now they’re selling their White Chocolate Macadamia cookies among other masterpieces out of the Red Horse Market in East Hampton.  But if you’re worried about your waistline  don’t fret, the cookies are sugar, fat, calorie and dairy free…. NOT… if you have to read the calorie label, move on!   I have not doubt there is like 12 pounds of butter in each cookie but damn, they’re awesome!   They make great chipwiches too… just in case you need more calories!

www.barrysbootcamp.com

But if you’re worried about calories and such silliness, fear not Barry’s Bootcamp is opening a new outlet in Amagansett this summer.    Yes, the home of sadistic (IMHO) workouts that burn tons of calories!  According to Racked.com  the location will feature healthy to go meals from Hu Kitchen.      Great news but I’ll pass on the meals, there’s a coconut cupcake (from Mary’s) with my name on it!  The gym is located at 199 Montauk Highway, right behind Mary’s Marvelous!   Did I mention Mary’s coconut cupcake?  It’s another Hamptons masterpiece and makes a great reward for just doing one of their  before I do one of their infamous 1000 calorie burning classes. UGH!

Finally one more thing new in the Hamptons this summer!  A deadly new tick born disease!  Goody!  I’m not going to bore or kill the mood by writing about it.  If you’re curious let the kill joys at CBS News do it for you here.    In the meantime, i’m going to get some new panda surf clothes and eat my cookies and cupcakes in peace!

Random Musings Vol 1. .. Cinco De Mayo, Subway and A Senior Project Sells in East Hampton!

Sometimes,  there’s a lot going on in the Hamptons.   This week is no exception.   So rather than try to write stuff and link it together for a blog… not that I ever really write anything coherently…. I’m just going to throw stuff out there and here it is… oh and Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone!

Speaking of Mexican…  Sabrosa Grill is opening in Water Mill next to the Hess Station.  Let the battle of the burritos begin.     While I don’t think Sabrosa will require you to microwave your own
meal, I still have high hopes for their food.    It’s apparently a chain like Chipotle and it’s headquartered in Lancaster, PA.  Everyone knows the Amish are experts in Mexican cuisine.   Check out their website here. 

Size didn’t matter to Hamptonites!

A $5 Footlong Fiasco – Subway in Water Mill is no more…. it recently closed it’s doors at the most cursed location on the East End.   You know the one where there was once a Citarella, Blockbuster, Video, Water Mill Cupcake, Foody’s, Avanti and Muse among others. Apparently nobody cares about size in the Hamptons…. LOL! NOT!I don’t normally stop and take photos but this scene on the corner of Stephen Hands Path and 114 in East Hampton just jumped out at me.    What do you think this picture is saying?

Patriotic decorating in the Hamptons!

 

An innovative high school design!

Lisa Perry’s never ending senior high school home economics project is coming to East Hampton.   I guess if anyone has enough money they can take liberties with the word “style.” This beautiful ditty to the left which just screams fashion sense is now available on E-bay!  No, YOU have to pay THEM!

They go lightly in the night!

Speaking of style… somewhere the stylish Audrey Hepburn is shedding a tear.   The Tiffany and Company on Main Street is no more!  Apparently they went lightly one night a few weeks ago. Sadly, there will be no Breakfast at Tiffany’s in the Hamptons you’ll instead how to go to London Jewelers … “Breakfast at London Jewelers”… hmmmmmm…. not as catchy!
Moon river and me…………….

Finally, is it just me but does driving along Route 27 feel a lot like playing the old video game Frogger?!   Maybe we can make this into an actual game avoid a big hole and get 100 points…  medium 50  points… small 10!?