My apologies. I was out of town and I in my infinite wisdom forgot the power cord to my laptop. That of course meant … NO BLOGGING! I hope at least somebody missed me. So where was I? I had the joy of visiting Saugatuck Michigan. I was kind of freaked out actually, the people there were actually friendly and said “thank you, good morning and excuse me.” It was JUST like Citarella on Saturday afternoon!!! hahahahahhahahhahha!
I ended up staying at the Wickwood Inn, which is owned by Julee Russo, one of the founders of the original Silver Palate. It was actually pretty wonderful. The breakfast which was freshly baked every morning , a strata (sp?) one day, apple bread pudding the next and freshly baked cinnamon rolls the next. No, I didn’t go spinning and yes my pants are a bit tighter today. If you ever go there, the staff is wonderful and the overall experience made the fact I was in MICHIGAN for Independence Day a little less painful! In fact, I’d love to go back… but I’ll never admit it. http://www.wickwoodinn.com/
So I’m going to give you the highlights of my journey. Night one at about 1:00am while talking quietly in my room, I hear a knock at the door where a guy was asking through the door, “can I borrow your phone – I need to call 911.” Um, OK. Is everyone, OK? Let’s call 911 now!!! “No”, he responds, “I just need to get a hold of someone, I’m here on my honeymoon and my wife just left me. She took my cell phone, my cash and my credit cards!” Woah! Bummer. I got the dirt the next morning from the other guests that they had been bickering since the afternoon and it blew up later that night. Wow, I guess they won’t be coming back for their anniversary!!! Is it too late to put therapy on the gift registration list?!!
OK, finally… my favorite quotes from the weekend. A woman to her friend at a coffee shop in Douglas, Michigan; “You know, Harriet’s trailer is actually quite comfortable once you get used to it being so small?”
Quote two: A mother to her overweight adolescent son, “Homer, you had fudge for breakfast and fudge for lunch… you’re going to have a sensible dinner!”
Quote three: A randy teenage lad: “I don’t want to go hang out in town, I do better at bars when the girls are wasted.” Yup!!! It was an interesting weekend!!
Enough about Michigan…. One quick thing about the Hamptons. If you didn’t know head to Southampton next to the Elks Lodge! For the month of July, the Southampton Chamber of Commerce will host two Drive-In Movie Nights at the Southampton Elks property. On Tuesday, July 7, the Dreamworks animated film “Bee Movie” will play on the big screen. On Thursday, July 23, the movie choice will also be another Dreamworks animated feature, “Madagascar Escape 2 Africa.” The cost is about $40 per carload. Call the Southampton Chamber of commerce for details and tickets. 631-283-0402. COME ON… when was the last time YOU went to a drive in movie!!? Go!!!
(getting ready for action and a donut!)
What does it say: If it’s on a Friday or Saturday night.. it means they have connections. They’re also not short on cash and willing to go head to head with some of the biggest attitudes in the Hamptons. If they order the zucchini chips (at N&T) or onion rings (Palm) they’re daring… not afraid of calories because they’ll be at the gym in the morning. It also says, they really know the menu. If one of the hostesses or maitre d’s say “hello,” you know they’re doing well because they obviously slipped one of them a few buck$ for Christmas. They deserve a least a second date or to go a few bases. If you’re date is on a Sunday or prixe-fixe night, it’s up to your discretion.
What does it say: Chances are your date is a summer renter here in the Hamptons. They’re still new to the scene so if you’re waiting for that invitation to Jerry Seinfeld’s residence forget it. If this is a first date, finish the evening and change your cell number. You can do better.
What does it say: Your date obviously knows some of the hidden treasures of the Hamptons. It also says, they’re willing to go to a quiet place and they’re not afraid to hold a conversation with you. They’re smart and into the finer things in life. Confident and not afraid to spend a little extra for something special. Now, I want to be clear we’re talking about the upstairs restaurant here… if you end up in the downstairs pub it only says one thing to me; THEY’RE MARRIED!
What does it say: If it’s Friday night and he’s taking you to Almond, he’s gay! If you already knew he was gay… then just enjoy he probably knows a lot of people.
What does it say: People go to Cyril’s for one reason to drink. Odds are your date just got out of rehab or is probably fresh from the daily Montauk AA meeting. I would also be suspect of everyone your date just said hello to, odds are they’re tomorrow’s date! If you drove separately (hopefully you did) pretend to get a text message and leave immediately to deal with a “personal issue.”
Well first off Matto in East Hampton is doing a post beach happy hour for the boys and girls from the lambda set! They’ve even gathered a few buff shirtless 20 somethings to parade around hoping to draw a crowd. I just love the idea of my friend Dan’s uncle driving by with his 71 Ford pickup truck stopping in front of the IGA and wondering WTF is going on. Good times!!!