{"id":1457,"date":"2015-08-07T18:54:00","date_gmt":"2015-08-07T18:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/2015\/08\/07\/i-know-it-might-sound-shocking-to-some\/"},"modified":"2017-02-13T21:11:29","modified_gmt":"2017-02-13T21:11:29","slug":"i-know-it-might-sound-shocking-to-some","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/i-know-it-might-sound-shocking-to-some\/","title":{"rendered":"IF THIS SEEMS NORMAL…. YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN THE HAMPTONS!"},"content":{"rendered":"

I know it might sound shocking to some but I’m not originally from the Hamptons. \u00a0Yes, many think I’m the quintessential Hamptonite. \u00a0But here’s my deep, dark secret…. \u00a0I actually grew up in New Jersey…. but it gets worse… South Jersey! \u00a0 Yes, a place where something called Scrapple (google it if you don’t know – but don’t say I didn’t warn you) is considered gourmet, water is pronounced “worder” and the differences between peeing in the pool and into the pool are debatable. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Yet, after being here now for more than 20 years, I’ve become jaded.<\/p>\n

Yet, while there are certain things that many on the outside already know about life in the Hamptons… the fun of a good star sighting… (You know sitting next to Jack Nicholson at The Grill – yep I did),.. $25.00 containers of guacamole or the insane price of real estate.. there are a few things that only those who really live here can understand. \u00a0 Things that would make the average jaw drop in say, Ohio (are you reading Laura D?) that we here on the East End completely take for granted. \u00a0So here are a few of my observations that only people on the inside will understand as everyday life as we know it in the Hamptons.<\/div>\n
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Valet Service at the Hospital – Where I grew up, the only valet I ever experienced for medical treatment involved an ambulance. \u00a0 But here in the Hamptons we have valet service! \u00a0 Yes, you can drop off your BMW or Tesla as your holding your blood soaked bandages on that gushing wound and get a free claim ticket! \u00a0I know, its just as glamorous as it sounds and almost as fancy as taking a “Blade” helicopter to Stony Brook.<\/div>\n
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Oblivious Texting and Walking – \u00a0Perhaps the reason so many are using that valet service is because they were claiming their G*d given right to text and walk without looking. \u00a0 \u00a0Yes, \u00a0it doesn’t matter if your crossing Main Street or 27 in the Hamptons, if you’re texting and walking there is no need to look. \u00a0 It’s the drivers or bicyclists obligation to be on the lookout for you! \u00a0Ugh… I know I get it… pedestrians have the right away but there is a certain amount of responsibility we all need to take. \u00a0 \u00a0 But only on the East End is this sort of behavior not only tolerated its commonplace and it’s something I guess we’re all kind of used to seeing.<\/div>\n
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Cancel all appointments… I’m getting my car washed.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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Fistfights at Yoga – \u00a0Well in the parking lot to be more exact. \u00a0Why? \u00a0Because there’s no parking… there’s no parking… there’s no parking! \u00a0I don’t care if I’m there to find my center, if you take my space while I’m waiting you’re toast! \u00a0It’s a scenario that’s more common than you think and is also a frequent scene at that other hub of zen, Soulcycle. \u00a0 \u00a0Now let’s go to the Golden Pear and get an iced coffee!<\/a><\/div>\n
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Taking an Hour to Get Your Car Washed – UGH! \u00a0OK, it’s a lot better in Hampton Bays but in Southampton it’s like sitting through a Merchant-Ivory production. \u00a0 SLOOOOOOOOOOWWWW. Now, \u00a0 I don’t think it’s the fault of the staff but the simple fact they’re the only game in town that makes this a most exhausting endeavor. \u00a0 \u00a0“I’m sorry, I’m not taking appointments on Wednesday.. I’m getting my car washed!”<\/div>\n
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Overdressed Ice Cream Stands – If you’ve ever been to Olaf’s, Scoop Du Jour or Sant Ambroeus… especially the latter on a hot summer night, you know the Hamptons has it’s own dress code. \u00a0This ain’t no Dairy Queen in Idaho…. You’ll stick out like a sore thumb if you dare wear a Harley T-shirt, Docker’s shorts or even rubber flip flops. \u00a0 \u00a0 It’s designer duds for double dipping. \u00a0 But don’t think any trendy outfit will do. \u00a0 Hamptonites have put the Blah in Manolo Blahniks… its more than just shoes… you need to be decked from head to toe when you order that Mint Chip no-sugar added lactose-fat free gelato. \u00a0 \u00a0 Yes, consider it a dairy themed “Mean Girls.”<\/div>\n
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But everyone, please know living here hasn’t changed me at all. \u00a0 I’m still a softy at hearty. \u00a0 Now, like everyone else out here I don’t judge people by their race, religion or sexual preference.. I judge them by the car they drive (yes I stole that from Ellen Degeneres).<\/div>\n
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<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I know it might sound shocking to some but I’m not originally from the Hamptons. \u00a0Yes, many think I’m the quintessential Hamptonite. \u00a0But here’s my deep, dark secret…. \u00a0I actually grew up in New Jersey…. but it gets worse… South Jersey! \u00a0 Yes, a place where something called Scrapple (google it if you don’t know … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":3545,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":[],"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","generate_page_header":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[1457,1538,1347,1358,1539,1379,1350,1354,1540],"class_list":["post-1457","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-blog","tag-car-wash","tag-east-hampton","tag-hamptons","tag-ice-cream","tag-jon-bon-jovi","tag-real-estate","tag-southampton","tag-southampton-hospital"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8pfeo-nv","jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/blogger-image-1106159047.jpg?fit=240%2C320&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1457","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1457"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1457\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3173,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1457\/revisions\/3173"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3545"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1457"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1457"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1457"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}