{"id":1503,"date":"2014-05-15T18:09:00","date_gmt":"2014-05-15T18:09:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/2014\/05\/15\/the-thing-that-wouldnt-leave-dealing\/"},"modified":"2017-02-22T03:29:11","modified_gmt":"2017-02-22T03:29:11","slug":"the-thing-that-wouldnt-leave-dealing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/the-thing-that-wouldnt-leave-dealing\/","title":{"rendered":"The Thing That Wouldn&#8217;t Leave&#8230;. Dealing With Guests that Don&#8217;t Take Hints!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s about a week to go till all hell breaks loose here in the Hamptons. \u00a0 \u00a0We&#8217;re of course talking about the official beginning of the summer season. \u00a0 So while we trumpet the return of warm weather, \u00a0the traffic jams and Lyme disease there&#8217;s also something else on the horizon. \u00a0 As anyone who lives on the east end can tell you&#8230;.. it&#8217;s the return of the house guests!<\/p>\n<div>Now, I know that my house is definitely much more fun now that ice has finally melted on the driveway. \u00a0 \u00a0 So, it comes as no surprise to me that the casual requests for weekend visits increase ten fold when the mercury starts rising.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>\n<p>While I love the guests there are times when having visitors can become a scene more frightening than a Steven Segall movie marathon! \u00a0 \u00a0 In fact it reminds me of the old Saturday Night Live skit (back when it was funny) of &#8220;The Thing That Wouldn&#8217;t Leave&#8221; (see the video below). \u00a0 \u00a0 So, what do you do with guests that really believe &#8220;mi casa is su casa?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Can you get them to leave with out being insulting? \u00a0 Of course you can and I&#8217;m here to tell you how to do it! \u00a0 It&#8217;s a simple three phase tactic that Martha Stewart would love and yet you&#8217;ll still have them running for the doors. \u00a0You might even get a thank you note later too!<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/46907376?byline=0&amp;color=c23476\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/vimeo.com\/46907376\">The Thing Wouldn&#8217;t Leave<\/a> from <a href=\"http:\/\/vimeo.com\/user11850857\">AFTRS Radio<\/a> on <a href=\"https:\/\/vimeo.com\/\">Vimeo<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Phase 1: \u00a0Internet Interception &#8211; It&#8217;s a fast paced world and one would think that when visiting one of the most beautiful locations on earth, visitors here would actually enjoy shutting the world off! \u00a0 HA! \u00a0Right! \u00a0 In the Hamptons where dinner tables are silent only because everyone is texting someone else more interesting at another table, staying in touch is like air to breathe. \u00a0 \u00a0So what better way to give a guest a gentle nudge then to cutting off their connection to the world in addition to severing them from Netflix and sending their &#8220;House of Cards&#8221; addiction into a tailspin&#8230;. unplug the wifi router! \u00a0 \u00a0The fear of actually having to carry a conversation is often all you need to get your life back again and send your guest fleeing. \u00a0By the way, if my sister is reading this it actually did go down when you were here last time! \u00a0I swear!<\/p>\n<table class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;\" cellspacing=\"0\" cellpadding=\"0\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/cereal-768x1024.jpg?resize=150%2C200\" width=\"150\" height=\"200\" border=\"0\" \/><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\">The breakfast of chumps!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>Phase 2: The Morning Jolt &#8211; \u00a0They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. \u00a0 So what better way to suck the energy out of the overly intrusive guest then starting their day on the wrong foot! \u00a0Here&#8217;s how you do it! \u00a0You hide the Keurig, the Starbucks and the bagels and instead replace them with something terrifying; \u00a0 Instant coffee, generic cereal and tang! \u00a0 \u00a0Nothing says you couldn&#8217;t care less than spending less! \u00a0 \u00a0 After day one of having to run to town to actually get something potable and edible your guest will be dreaming of a blanket in Sheep Meadow! \u00a0 &#8220;Trust me guys, Toasted Oats are actually better tasting than Cheerios! \u00a0Really!&#8221;<\/p>\n<table class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;\" cellspacing=\"0\" cellpadding=\"0\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/cold-shower.jpg?resize=320%2C213\" width=\"320\" height=\"213\" border=\"0\" \/><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\">Yes, they&#8217;ll have a headache and you&#8217;ll get rid of one!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>Phase 3: The Cold Shoulders &#8211; After a day of Soulcycle, beach combing and a walk down Ralph Lauren Boulevard&#8230;.errrr&#8230; I mean Main St. East Hampton, \u00a0there is nothing more refreshing than a hot relaxing shower. \u00a0 So what&#8217;s a guest going to do when the hot water runs out before they have a chance to freshen up! \u00a0 But alas you won&#8217;t have to fib to your guest about a faulty hot water heater, you&#8217;ll merely tell them it&#8217;s part of your fitness routine&#8230;. you know <a href=\"http:\/\/www.wired.com\/2013\/02\/ff-cold-weight-loss\/all\/\" target=\"_blank\">using the cold to burn fat!\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0 \u00a0 Think about this way, you&#8217;re also helping them prevent their skin from drying out and invigorating their day since they didn&#8217;t have any coffee that morning! \u00a0 \u00a0 It&#8217;s the alternative to Canyon Ranch and the only cost is you leave the house a day early!<\/p>\n<p>In summary, this blog was done in the name of helping OTHERS. \u00a0 All of the guest in my house are welcome to stay as long as they want&#8230; family is welcome to stay the entire month of July&#8230;.. and guests of guests of relatives of guests are also welcome! \u00a0ANYTIME!<\/p>\n<p>MY FINAL THOUGHT OF TODAY: \u00a0I see they&#8217;re advertising a &#8220;new&#8221; production of Les Miserables on Broadway. \u00a0 \u00a0I was wondering do you get a choice of fish or chicken with this production?!<\/p>\n<table class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;\" cellspacing=\"0\" cellpadding=\"0\" align=\"center\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/les-miserables-barricades.jpg?resize=320%2C180\" width=\"320\" height=\"180\" border=\"0\" \/><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\">It&#8217;s so good you&#8217;ll drop your fork!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s about a week to go till all hell breaks loose here in the Hamptons. \u00a0 \u00a0We&#8217;re of course talking about the official beginning of the summer season. \u00a0 So while we trumpet the return of warm weather, \u00a0the traffic jams and Lyme disease there&#8217;s also something else on the horizon. \u00a0 As anyone who &#8230; <a title=\"The Thing That Wouldn&#8217;t Leave&#8230;. Dealing With Guests that Don&#8217;t Take Hints!\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/the-thing-that-wouldnt-leave-dealing\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about The Thing That Wouldn&#8217;t Leave&#8230;. Dealing With Guests that Don&#8217;t Take Hints!\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2025,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":[],"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","generate_page_header":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[1693,1849,1850,1851,1347,1582,1548,1852,1614,1853,1854,1350,1428],"class_list":["post-1503","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-1693","tag-broadway","tag-cereal","tag-cold-shower","tag-east-hampton","tag-hamtpons","tag-house-guests","tag-instant-coffee-les-miserables","tag-internet","tag-john-belushi","tag-ralph-lauren","tag-real-estate","tag-summer"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8pfeo-of","jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/cereal.jpg?fit=1200%2C1600&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1503","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1503"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1503\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3277,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1503\/revisions\/3277"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2025"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1503"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1503"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1503"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}