{"id":4316,"date":"2017-05-24T17:26:54","date_gmt":"2017-05-24T17:26:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/?p=4316"},"modified":"2017-05-24T17:35:25","modified_gmt":"2017-05-24T17:35:25","slug":"how-brokers-really-describe-your-house","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/how-brokers-really-describe-your-house\/","title":{"rendered":"HOW (some) BROKERS REALLY DESCRIBE YOUR HOUSE!!!"},"content":{"rendered":"

While you might be familiar with some of the more famous homes of the Hamptons, Grey Gardens, The Creeks or even the Orgy House, there are probably a few you haven’t heard of yet.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because it’s what agents refer to certain homes behind the owner’s back…. and it’s not necessarily a compliment.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 By the way, I won’t disclose any of the addresses but that doesn’t mean I won’t tell you when I see you.<\/p>\n

First off, I\u00a0knew of a\u00a0listing a few years ago in Hampton Bays and the agents\u00a0around town\u00a0were referring to it as “Moscow on the Peconic<\/strong>.”\u00a0 Apparently the d\u00e9cor was\u00a0so unique\u00a0the agents\u00a0equated it to a “Russian bordello.”\u00a0\u00a0 Gilded faucets and ceilings,\u00a0elegant<\/p>\n

\"Russian
Yeah, it kind a looked like this!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

patterned\u00a0marble floors and chandeliers\u00a0that\u00a0would convince you that the interior<\/p>\n

designer was\u00a0Vladimir\u00a0Putin.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It was as if you took the Trump Tower penthouse and put it on the water.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 By the way,\u00a0 I had my own listing that I used to refer to as the “bordello” a few years ago.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It wasn’t an easy sell.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Speaking of waterfronts, there is one in Sag Harbor that has some interesting qualities.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It’s dark, cavernous and overflowing with nautical touches.\u00a0\u00a0 Any guess how a few agents described it to me?\u00a0\u00a0 It’s like living in the “Pirates of the Caribbean”<\/strong> ride at Disney World.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0\u00a0 I wonder if you could just say it’s where they actually filmed it and maybe get some p.r.?\u00a0 I mean who would be the wiser?<\/p>\n

But don’t think it’s all about movie themes in some of these homes.\u00a0\u00a0 Sometimes you can get the association with a store or restaurant.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 One Southampton home which is overflowing with Asian accents, industrial grade carpeting and Formica countertops is affectionately known as the “Benihana”<\/strong> house.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I also know of another home in East Hampton that’s walls are so overloaded with posters, knick-knacks and flair it’s just referred to as “TGIFriday’s.”\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong> Wow, why do I suddenly have a craving for some shrimp tempura and potato skins?<\/p>\n

\"1313
The Original???<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Finally, one of my favorites is a home I think I coined with the nick name “1313 Mockingbird Lane.”\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong> Yes, if you’ve ever driven to or from Sag Harbor and East Hampton you’ve no doubt seen this lovely little ditty!\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It’s kind of funny but who knew a cedar shingled beach house could look so sinister?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0But everyone has their own style and once size doesn’t fit all.\u00a0\u00a0 I’m sure there are some folks out there who think my prominent oil based painting of Bella and Russell is kinda tacky.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I have no problem with that I get my own joke.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 But don’t you ever dare insult my collection of Hummel figurines.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Well this Friday it’s Memorial Day weekend and the beginning of the Summer Season.\u00a0\u00a0But before we take\u00a0off our suits and ties for the season, a little\u00a0advice for landlords and tenants in the Hamptons the season is about to begin.\u00a0\u00a0 Trash is not automatically picked up by the town.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You need to either drop it off at the<\/p>\n

\"east
This is how we… and you should do it!l<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

local dump\u00a0or hire a trash service to come and pick up your refuse.\u00a0 You know like Norsic <\/a>or Mickey’s.<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It is not recommended that you take your Hefty or Glad bags and throw them over the fence onto another person’s property.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Yes, this really happened to a landlord who discovered a years worth of garbage as they were prepping their property for summer tenants.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ain’t the Hamptons just so glamorous!?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

While you might be familiar with some of the more famous homes of the Hamptons, Grey Gardens, The Creeks or even the Orgy House, there are probably a few you haven’t heard of yet.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because it’s what agents refer to certain homes behind the owner’s back…. and it’s not necessarily a compliment.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 By the … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4366,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":[],"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","generate_page_header":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[21,149,1],"tags":[2710,1542,2707,2711,2706,2709,2708,1350,2712,1428],"class_list":["post-4316","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-hamptons","category-hamptons-chatter","category-uncategorized","tag-benihana","tag-grey-gardens","tag-mickeys-carting","tag-munsters","tag-norsic","tag-orgy-house","tag-pirates-of-the-carribean","tag-real-estate","tag-renting","tag-summer"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8pfeo-17C","jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Russian-decor.jpg?fit=962%2C681&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4316","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4316"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4316\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4411,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4316\/revisions\/4411"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4366"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4316"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4316"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamptonschatter.net\/chatter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4316"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}