CELEB NEWS, Tom Brady is heading to East Hampton—but not to toss a football or rekindle anything with Gisele. The NFL legend is opening another Card Vault, this time taking over the former Tod’s/Tory Burch spot in the heart of the village. With locations already in Massachusetts and Connecticut and East Rutherford NJ, this high-end trading card shop is apparently where touchdowns meet Topps. I recently brought it up while watching Patti LuPone’s one-woman show at Symphony Space (as one does), and the reactions were… mixed. A few friends asked if he was selling credit cards, one wondered aloud if Gisele would be doing the decorating, and the rest had never heard of him. I didn’t have the heart to explain. But cheers to my friend Eileen O’Neill of Corcoran for brokering the deal—and for those who actually do follow Brady, rumor has it he’ll be in town Memorial Day weekend for the grand opening. Get your selfie sticks and rookie cards ready.
Didn’t we just do this? Yes, Long Island Restaurant Week is back again—because apparently, our waistlines didn’t suffer enough in January. Running from April 27th to May 4th, the spring edition offers prix fixe menus that’ll tempt you into carbs and cocktails all over again. Some Hamptons heavy-hitters joining the gluttony this round include Barons Cove, Nick & Toni’s, Page, Rumba, The Palm, Il Buco, Flora and Fauna (yes, both), LDV at Maidstone Inn, Ocean Club Montauk, Cowfish, Cove Hollow Tavern, Kalissa, and Bridgehampton Inn. Whether you’re pretending to be “just here for the salad” or diving fork-first into dessert, there’s something for everyone—except maybe your skinny jeans. Full list and menus at www.longislandrestaurantweek.com. Bon appétit, again.
Finally, all aboard the retail express—next stop: confusion! A few months back, a not-so-subtle (yet somehow still invisible) “available retail space” sign popped up at the East Hampton LIRR station, offering a 613-square-foot “opportunity” that includes 125 square feet of exclusive retail space and 488 square feet shared with the M.T.A.—yes, including a bathroom. According to the M.T.A., anything from a newsstand to a full-service restaurant is possible… just hold the tobacco, adult content, and apparently, joy. Tenants are also required to keep the waiting room and restroom open daily from 5 a.m. to 8 p.m. all summer—because who doesn’t dream of being a bathroom attendant in paradise? Bids were supposedly due in February, but the sign’s still up and it’s still on LoopNet. As for CBRE? I searched harder than an LIRR conductor checking tickets and found nada. Similar spaces are also available in Southampton and Amagansett if you’re looking to train for retail glory.
Yeah, I know the shirtless pic of Brady is gratuitous. But I know my audience.