Call it the Baby Jessica event of the Hamptons… or the Chilean Dog Minor of East Hampton!! TV Movie is soon to follow!!

Who said there is no excitement in the Hamptons in the winter. Take the following case of the mischievous Beagle mix known as Russell. This morning as I was finishing my final cup of coffee before heading out the door and emergency arose. NO, it had nothing to do with Ann Currie saying something inane again on the Today show. It involved a loud bark coming from the back yard.

As I went outside, I saw my trusty and well behaved girl Boo digging away at the side of the pool house! What was she doing?? Wait there’s another bark coming from… GASP…. underneath the pool house!!! Oh my god, I had visions of Jo Beth Williams somehow working her way into a TV version of what could be a truly tragic event!!! “BABY JESSICA 2; RUSSELL’S TRAPPED!” The air was filled with tension and suspense. But as often is the case in times of tragedy, the spirit of man causes him to rise to the occasion. WE ARE ALL HEROES DEEP DOWN INSIDE (cue David Bowie song)!

Luckily my trusty house manager Daniel Strohmeir was there with crow bar in hand. If you know me well, you know why I often owe mine, Boo, Peter and Russell’s very survival to Daniel. This morning all of our lives came crashing together in what could have been a tragedy!! In all seriousness for a second, I got scared when the little guy stopped barking for a few minutes. I actually got a shiver thinking what if somehow Russell really got himself hurt down… choking or suffocating! Yikes, maybe I should have called the fire department. I mean they rescue cats out of trees right?!

No, never call the fire department or the police in the Hamptons unless it’s an absolute emergency. Because knowing my luck Russell would pop out the minute I did and I would end up being disgraced in the community fire/police blotter as the neurotic crack pot who called over his dog chasing a rabbit under a pool house. Read the Hamptons police blotters and you learn so much about the community. My favorite of late was the gentleman crackpot on Georgica beach who called 911 after a dog owner forgot to pick up some poop! It’s a true story and no it wasn’t me. I was on a cruise and have proof to back my claims. Now back to the rabbit chasing Russell. Did I say he was chasing a rabbit before?! Well that’s my theory anyway.
Anyway, after about 90 minutes of tension, tears and fears. Russell was liberated thanks to a quickly kicked and pulled hole in the floor. Russell didn’t say much about his ordeal after the liberation. But I have noticed he’s all of a sudden taken an interest in the New York City Marathon website. Is his surfing of said website an indication he’s planning to run like a certain Chilean Miner next fall! ONLY TIME WILL TELL!! By the way, I think I want Doug Savant to play me in the TV version, don’t you think that’s good casting?! (photo of a concerned Boo, eager to help-she did actually start digging a hole and ripping shingles off the house)

Finally some quick Almond update gossip. Rumors are floating that Eric Lemonides will take almond into… ta dah… BOBBY VANS. While I really doubt that scenerio big time. My bets are going to COPA around the corner. The School Street restaurant has been kind of quiet lately. It’s just my theory anyway!

The Sun is Shining on the Hamptons Real Estate Market!!!

In what has to be a first… the Hamptons Designer showcase house has actually sold in a relatively short period of time! That’s right! 129 Stoney Hill rd. is reportedly in contract. The 7,000 square foot home with an additional 3000 of lower level living was listed on the market for $5,500,000. While we don’t know what the actual selling price is, $5+ million asking price in Sag Harbor and not on the water was an aggressive take. Once again the Hamptons market is defying conventional wisdom! Maybe the house was actually better done than I thought? I was there when Jill Zarin was whining her way through a tour and I had to cut it short because of my headache!

Meanwhile some home improvements in East Hampton as the historic windmill on North Main street gets a face lift. I’m not sure what it’s costing but I’m sure it isn’t cheap. Wouldn’t it be greener and more economically responsible to put up solar panels instead?! I mean how much power does that thing generate anyway!?

Finally, once again the Sag Harbor Rag-a-muffin parade has come and gone. So what was the verdict! Try $250 worth of candy “packed.” Anyway, a good time was had by all and I’m a little poorer!

Me, SJP and 13 nice things about the Hamptons!!

Last night I was at the NY Sheraton for the annual Empire State Pride Agenda, fall dinner. It was actually a really great event for a great cause. Senator Kirsten Gillibrand was there as was Mayor Michael Bloomberg and Governor David Patterson. The event was hosted by Andy Cohen of Bravo and Sarah Jessica Parker. Now, I’ve known Andy for years and he introduced me to Ms. Parker or as he calls her SJP. I have to say, she was more attractive in person than in any of her movies or on the TV show. She was also absolutely charming. So now, if you read this blog you know I wasn’t crazy about “Sex and the City 2” the movie. Well, I take it back. I’m going to only say nice things about the Movie and SJP! She’s my new BFF.

So that had me thinking. Now that I’ve turned over a new leaf of saying only nice things about S&TC2, maybe I should say nice things about some other places and people I’ve often slighted. So, since today is Friday the 13Th I’m going to add some positive energy to the day and say 13 nice things. Here it goes….

#1 Bay Burger in Sag Harbor … nice thing… they have a very smooth parking lot!

OK, how did I do? I’ll keep going….

#2 The smell of the East Hampton Gym and the stale smelling towels keep me alert when working out!

#3 Bagel Buoy in Sag Harbor… the bagels are very round!

#4 Joan Jedell’s Hamptons hot sheet is great for starting bonfires!

#5 The traffic on 27 isn’t really that bad on Sunday mornings in January!

#6 The Golden Pear’s $10 gazpacho makes me spend $10 less on wine!

#7 That agent that looks like Ms. Piggy is much better looking than their boyfriend!

Gosh this is hard… I’m thinking… I’m thinking… hummmmmm….

#8 The produce in Walbaum’s isn’t as rancid as it looks!

#9 Riverhead is a great place if you like fast food!

#10 Murphs in Sag Harbor has a floor that’s very difficult to slip on!

#11 I don’t have to ever worry about sleeping too late, now that I have my Beagle Russell!

#12 ATT’s lousy reception keeps me from spending too much time talking to long winded real estate agents!

and…. drum roll….. #13 the orange parking ticket on my window looks so great with all of the Fall colors!!!

Whoa! Oh before I forget. I have to post this video. If you haven’t seen it yet you should. What do you think happens to a McDonalds Happy Meal after 6 months. Take a look. Bay Burger may not seem so bad now!

Resting for tomorrow’s big ARF walk!

Boo, Russell and Bailey are resting for tomorrow’s big event! ARF – ANIMAL RESCUE FUND OF THE HAMPTONS’ 17TH ANNUAL STROLL TO THE SEA! Pedigrees and mutts alike will be taking a the two mile walk to the ocean starting from Mulford Farm in East Hampton all to benefit the Animal Rescue Fund of the Hamptons. There will also be free microchipping, contests and treats. New this year, a silent auction featuring great gifts for people and pets. Prizes awarded to top fundraisers! Register now online at arfhamptons.org or day of event starting at 9 a.m., walk starts at 10 a.m.

Meanwhile if anyone can put me in touch with a good dog whisperer! It’s been a barkapalooza since Bailey came to visit for the weekend! I wonder if cat owners have this problem?