SAG HARBOR

What’s the hardest reservation in the Hamptons??? Plus, since there is no good Mexican anywhere, make it yourself!

So what’s the hardest reservation in the Hamptons? Is it Nick & Toni’s? Is it the East Hampton Grill? Is it … oh this is getting annoying, I’ll just tell you. It’s Beach Paws in Wainscott! So, how is the food? Well it depends if you like Mighty Dog or Eukanueba but that’s the real reason to go there. The reason to bark about Beach Paws is it is the best dog grooming service in the Hamptons bar none! Lara Plimpton and her team do miracles for my kids Boo and Russell. In fact, my fidos are fond of getting the mannies, peddies and fluffing there, it’s more tail wagging than between the leg shakes. I don’t know how they do it but Lara makes if fun for them. But if you think you’re going to drop by for a quick rinse and blow dry guess again. It’s by appointment only (sometimes a week or so in advance) but like all things in life it’s well worth the wait. Beach Paws is located at 348 Montauk Hwy in Wainscott. 631-537-4590. When you go, make sure to tell Lara Boo sent you!

Now, I am not a food critic. But I do like food and my favorite is Mexican. So when I heard that they were opening up Agave in Bridgehampton, I was psyched. Now, I’ve yet to go there and try the food but I can’t get anyone to go with me. Apparently the buzz is so bad about this place, I don’t know anyone who will join me in the place Well, maybe in the Fall they’ll get their act together (fingers crossed). So in the meantime, I’m always in search of good south of the border stuff to go. Well, I can say with certainty, I’ve found what is probably the best salsa I’ve ever had!

It’s at Sean’s Place in Southampton. It’s made fresh and includes fresh tomatoes, cilantro and I think strawberries. So if your in Southampton. take the time go to Sean’s Place and let me know if you agree. But don’t worry if you don’t want to make the trip just for Salsa, owner and trained chef Sean King has more awesome stuff for those with an epicurean pallet.

Meanwhile, in spite of the latest shaking on Wall Street most of my friends in the biz tell me it’s full steam ahead. I have to agree. So if you’re holding off before buying hoping for a crash like back in ’08, forget it. Buyers are still out there and taking advantage of the lowest interest rates in history. Remember, there is only so much Hamptons land and real estate around!

The cheapest lunch in the Hamptons!

Total cost $6.25 at 7-11! Oh thank Heaven! You know this would cost $16+ at the Golden Pear. Turkey with jack cheese and lettuce on whole wheat, whole grain chips and a club soda. So I’m not saying I’ll never hit the Pear or go out but I’m just getting tired of hemorrhaging every time I’m hungry! It wasn’t gourmet but it wasn’t bad! By the way, I still say the Golden Pear has the best Mac&Cheese anywhere!!!

Tesla apparently made summer quicker in Montauk… and lock your doors and hide your porridge a fairy tale about summer renters!!!

So my blog has been a little spotty lately but what can I say?! We’ve actually been selling houses out here on the east end. You know, I must work since I don’t make enough money on this blog to eat let alone afford a pair of Ferragamo’s.

Well my first tale is one that I’ve never heard before, although a few have told me they have! It starts with my getting my brand new watch fixed and somehow it folded into the mystery and legend surrounding the Montauk Project. If you never heard of the Montauk project, according to Wickipedia it’s described as THIS. So, when I went to the jewelry store the other day to get my watch repaired the sales woman asked me to describe what was wrong. I explained how the hands would sporadically just start to spin. It was her question next that stumped me, “were you in Montauk?” I said “no, why do you ask?” She went on to describe how they get people in the store all of the time for watch repair describing a problem similar to mine. Their watch just started spinning! Woah, holy Bill and Ted’s Excellent adventure. Are people going into time warps in Montauk? According to the sales person (who I won’t disclose) some locals feel it’s the result of the experiments that happened back during WW II. So did Tesla plant a giant magnet under Navy Beach!?!? Leonard Nimoy we need you to go “In Search Of” now!! Let me know if any of you have had similar or have heard the same story!

Finally, a little fairy tale about the Hamptons and a warning to folks off Wainscot Northwest Rd. Once upon a time there was…er.. is a little… well actually….a big share house full with wall street kids from the firm of “Holdem Backs.” Yes, these young male and female heirs apparent to Goldilocks and perhaps Bernie Madoff searched high and low for the perfect summer retreat in the Hamptons. Well they found one that was just right. They settled in quickly and merrily played and perhaps partied a little too hard. So hard in fact, they lost their way through the scary Northwest woods!!!

So, what to do when you’ve had a little to much to drink while in the forest. I mean woods… and you need to take a nap!? You naturally go for a walk! I mean neighbors are friendly here in the East Hampton forest, right?! So later that summer evening a family of homeowners came home to their house and notice the flat screen was on! “Someone is sleeping in our living room” the poppa homeowner declared! Yes, the family was surprised to see someone sleeping in their bed… er I mean their sofa! So were they friendly to Mr. Goldilocks? Nope, they called the police and notified the landlord who was none too pleased to hear about so many bears…er… summer renters were sleeping in his beds (damn this would have been funnier if Bear Sterns were still in business, right?). But just one final note and little mixing of tales here… neighbors are looking high and low for the prince who slept on the sofa. It appears he left a flip flop behind, perhaps I should have instead called him Cinderfella!

The biggest dangers in the Hamptons!!!

I’ll start off by saying that I haven’t been as dedicated as I should to my happy little blog but between the job, the indigestion and the house guests (#2 as a direct result of the other two) I haven’t had as much time to sit down and hit the keys! So what’s going on???

Well, I had an interesting conversation last week with a young lady who works in one of those walk in clinics we have here in the Hamptons. You know you’ve seen them and consider them your local town doctor. I’ve actually gone to one of them and to be honest and they saved me one nasty winter cold from becoming pneumonia. Anyway, what did I talk about with this young lady who I’ll call “Coffee” because I want to protect her identity and because I’m typing this in the morning and enjoying a certain beverage. So I asked Coffee about what are the most common types of walk-in’s she sees at the clinic… wait I can’t call her Coffee anymore, let’s call her “Ann”… I’m watching The Today Show. What did she say?????

The biggest problem and health issue for folks in the Hamptons is….. drum roll please… DADADADADADDADDDADADADA…. POISON IVY! Yes, folks the weekend gardeners may have their Martha Stewart gardening kits but they can’t seem to identify this three leafed little gift of itch!! Ann told me she sees it all the time, amateur gardeners covered from head to toe with the cute little rash that makes life miserable. We all know what Poison Ivy looks like now don’t we folks? Well I’ve included a photo of the plant here and leave you with this little ditty I learned as a child, “if it has leaves of three, let them be.” I always follow that rule and it’s kept me safe for years. It also saved me $15 dollars when I went to go see that Batman movie and saw it also starred Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy! Leaves of three I let that movie be!

So what’s number 2!? Well if your thinking it has anything to do with the ocean or beach you’re wrong. The number 2 most dangerous activity in the Hamptons is BICYCLING! No, it’s not peddlers getting hit by vehicles that is causing the problem, it’s lack of coordination and lack of padding and helmets that is causing the problem! Yes, it’s a right of summer when weekend warriors put on their spandex cycling shorts and hit the mean streets of the East End. I know it seems like a good thing to do, be in the great outdoors and exercising but there are a lot of pot holes and gravel out there folks. That seems to be the biggest problem! My advice to you for a safer summer? I have a saying for this too, “If it has wheels of two find one that don’t moo (ve).” Yeah, go to a spin class and go outside on a hike later… and make sure to avoid the poison ivy! But be safe, besides I see the way most people drive out here… It’s not pretty folks! Enjoy the rest of the holiday week!