So what did I learn the past summer in the Hamptons? TONS… let me share with you a few of the things.
1) Free internet exists on the Long Island Expressway! All you have to do is drive the two hours behind the Jitney and your Zip Car is now an office on wheels! Send e mails… do research and look at actor Mark Feurstein (They guy from Royal Pains- I don’t know him either) for the entire two hours! Thank you Hampton Jitney and please only use this service when your a passenger!!! DID I REALLY NEED TO SAY THAT!? YEP! Speaking of which…
2) You must assume every driver during the summer is texting while driving. I’ve seen more Range Rovers plow through cross walks this summer than ever before. I’m surprised more people weren’t killed this summer all because someone had to tell their girlfriend they were “LOL”-ing!
3) Jodi Della Famina ruined every single back of the road “short cut” in the Hamptons! Traffic now get’s backed up on Scuttle Hole Road on a TUESDAY!! #$****$#!!
4) Thursday is the new Friday and Monday is the new Sunday. How come when I worked in the city, I had to work every Friday and Monday? (Insert working at Roy Rogers joke here) What do these people do for a living? I mean is everyone a trust funder??!
5) There’s a new word in the Hamptons vocabulary. It’s called Madoffreude! It’s kind of like Schadenfreude .. you know where people derive pleasure from the misfortunes of others. Madoffreude is taking great pleasure in the fact that someone you know of got ripped off by Bernie Madoff.
Wasn’t it just a great summer!?
Finally a little bragging about where I work. I’m a little biased yes, but Prudential Dougals Elliman just launched it’s new $1,000,000+ web site this week and wow!! What am I talking about ?!?!? It’s a cross between facebook and cracK…the equivelent of real estate narcotics.. totally addicting! The full screen images, the tracking of listings and the fact that it also has the listings from PDE and other companies as well really makes this a game changer! So if you’re thinking about searching for a property on say the UPPER WEST SIDE or Soho.. why go to 4 or 5 different websites you can look on just one! Cool huh!? Go to www.elliman.com and register on the site to get updates about new listings that fit your criteria. You may want to pick an agent’s name when you register… AHEM… or not… either way go to site and check it out!
I keep hearing everyone talk about how “The Hamptons have changed so much over the past few years.” Well, I beg to differ. I’ve compiled a list of things that are still the same out east. And remember as Carly Simon sang, “these are the good old days.”
The American Hotel still has a great Saturday night bar crowd.
Last Chance Animal Rescue Fund is a charitable, not-for-profit organization, created to save the lives of animals. The organization states “We rescue animals that are located in “KILL” facilities and underwrite the costs of relocating them to “NO KILL” facilities in hopes of finding them a forever family. The minimum donation is $30. RSVP at neufeld.michelle@gmail.com.
that Thyme & Again on Noyac Road in Southampton has awesome food. They’re the ones hosting the brunch to benefit Last Chance Animal Rescue Fund to save pregnant female dogs from being killed in the gas chambers. Tickets $40. www.lcarf.org 631.793.8980 or whitney@lcarf.org. The dog above was actually available for adoption from LCARF a few weeks ago… I wanted to but my girl Boo had a hissy fit. THEY DIDN’T GET ALONG!! UGH!
Meanwhile, speaking of bitching…. I’m doing it non stop these days, thanks to the hundreds of people who apparently have no idea of how to obey traffic laws. Yes, there’s loads of people parking and driving by braille in the fine villages of the Hamptons. I sware the photo above is a real one… I’m not that good at photoshop anyway!!!