From Tarts to Triage: A Swiss Bakery and ER Are the New Power Duo You Didn’t Know You Kneaded!

A long-awaited remedy has arrived in East Hampton—and no, it’s not a prix fixe at Nick & Toni’s. The new Stony Brook East Hampton Emergency Department on Pantigo Place is a sleek, 22,000-square-foot sanctuary where cutting-edge medicine meets Hamptons polish. When I first entered the facility, I was greeted by the enticing clear and sterile smell that just had me craving a refreshing IV. Picture sunlit halls, rooftop solar panels, and the kind of swift, attentive care in sleek and stylish scrubs that would make Naomi Campbell jealous. Gone are the days of ambulance rides through Route 27 gridlock—first responders can now deliver patients to top-tier treatment in record time. One EMT called it “unbelievable”—the kind of praise usually reserved for the filet mignon at The Palm.

Open 24/7, the facility offers a resuscitation room, cardiac monitors in every suite, and a full menu of diagnostic delights: MRI, CT, ultrasound, and X-ray. Backed by $42 million in funding and a 99-year lease, it’s emergency care with ambiance. You may not want to end up here—but if you do, you’ll feel like a VIP.

Overheard in the waiting room:
“The service was so fast, I barely had time to finish panicking.”
“They took my vitals and still made me feel like the most important table in the room.”
“Honestly? I’d come back just for the lighting and the cardiac monitoring.”
“It’s like Le Bernardin for medical care—minus the foie gras.”

So many hyped openings out east… so how did I miss this bread-y little secret? Alpina Swiss Bakery in Water Mill has apparently been quietly serving up pretzels, pastries, and proper Alpine carbs for over a year—and I just discovered it like I was Marco Polo stumbling into carbohydrate Shangri-La. Run by Swiss father/son duo Christoph and Robin Mueller (a.k.a. the Edelweiss Mafia), this cozy spot sits next to their Hampton Kitchen Deli and features an open kitchen where you can spy fresh sourdough, croissants and museli being whipped up by a baking dream team. I’ve shamefully been there three times since the discovery. My last indulgence? A turkey and cheese sandwich on a homemade beer pretzel—funky, chewy, a little salty (i think it was the cheese) and weirdly addictive. It’s like Switzerland crash-landed on Montauk Highway, and I’m not mad about it.