Water Mill – Hamptons Chatter

Stretch Goals and Guest Lists: Lululemon and Zoe Club Make Summer a VIP Workout

June 26, 2025

Because nothing says “Hamptons summer” like sweating in $128 leggings, Lululemon is transforming a house out east into The Summer Club—and yes, you’re invited. From June 27 to July 6, expect poolside lounging, tennis that’s more social than competitive, and workouts intense enough to justify the green juice. It’s all to celebrate 10 years of the cult-loved Align™—aka the pants that launched a thousand yoga poses. Bonus: all class proceeds benefit local nonprofit i-tri, helping empower middle school girls through triathlon (talk about core strength). Space is limited, so sign up before your favorite slot is gone and you’re stuck doing downward dog in your driveway. More info and schedule at lululemonsummerclub.com.

Just when you thought dinner in the Hamptons couldn’t get any more exclusive, here comes Zoe—a new private dining club from celebrity chef Ralph Pagano (yes, that Ralph from Hell’s Kitchen and Pressure Cook). Housed in the former Robert’s restaurant in Water Mill, this century-old farmhouse has been reimagined as a Riviera-meets-Hamptons hideaway—complete with bocce, backyard tents, and a “curated casual” vibe. But don’t just show up hungry: access requires a $2,500 membership fee. Inside, expect globally inspired, family-style dishes served with a side of “I paid to be here.” It’s less scene-y than Surf Lodge, more social club for the foodie elite. Membership may have its privileges, but if you’re curious (or just nosy), peek the menu or apply here: zoehamptons.com.

From Tarts to Triage: A Swiss Bakery and ER Are the New Power Duo You Didn’t Know You Kneaded!

June 7, 2025

A long-awaited remedy has arrived in East Hampton—and no, it’s not a prix fixe at Nick & Toni’s. The new Stony Brook East Hampton Emergency Department on Pantigo Place is a sleek, 22,000-square-foot sanctuary where cutting-edge medicine meets Hamptons polish. When I first entered the facility, I was greeted by the enticing clear and sterile smell that just had me craving a refreshing IV. Picture sunlit halls, rooftop solar panels, and the kind of swift, attentive care in sleek and stylish scrubs that would make Naomi Campbell jealous. Gone are the days of ambulance rides through Route 27 gridlock—first responders can now deliver patients to top-tier treatment in record time. One EMT called it “unbelievable”—the kind of praise usually reserved for the filet mignon at The Palm.

Open 24/7, the facility offers a resuscitation room, cardiac monitors in every suite, and a full menu of diagnostic delights: MRI, CT, ultrasound, and X-ray. Backed by $42 million in funding and a 99-year lease, it’s emergency care with ambiance. You may not want to end up here—but if you do, you’ll feel like a VIP.

Overheard in the waiting room:
“The service was so fast, I barely had time to finish panicking.”
“They took my vitals and still made me feel like the most important table in the room.”
“Honestly? I’d come back just for the lighting and the cardiac monitoring.”
“It’s like Le Bernardin for medical care—minus the foie gras.”

So many hyped openings out east… so how did I miss this bread-y little secret? Alpina Swiss Bakery in Water Mill has apparently been quietly serving up pretzels, pastries, and proper Alpine carbs for over a year—and I just discovered it like I was Marco Polo stumbling into carbohydrate Shangri-La. Run by Swiss father/son duo Christoph and Robin Mueller (a.k.a. the Edelweiss Mafia), this cozy spot sits next to their Hampton Kitchen Deli and features an open kitchen where you can spy fresh sourdough, croissants and museli being whipped up by a baking dream team. I’ve shamefully been there three times since the discovery. My last indulgence? A turkey and cheese sandwich on a homemade beer pretzel—funky, chewy, a little salty (i think it was the cheese) and weirdly addictive. It’s like Switzerland crash-landed on Montauk Highway, and I’m not mad about it.

SOULCYCLE GETS A NEW NEIGHBOR IN WATER MILL! YOU KNOW IT’S SUMMER WHEN….

June 12, 2019

In what’s probably one of the better business moves this summer, Sag Harbor staple Provisions will be adding another location at the former site of Citerella in Water Mill shopping center.

A smart move considering every Saturday and Sunday, the area swarms with Lululemonites loitering after the SoulCycle classes next door. Which means getting a green juice or smoothie just got a lot easier!! Thank the lord…. or at least the owners of Provisions. If you’ve never been to Sag Harbor location, it’s probably one of the best natural food markets anywhere and the organic cafe is always packed!! According to highly placed sources (the guy at the cash register yesterday), the Water Mill location will be opening sometime in Mid-July. While I’m sure it will swamped like their other location, they may want to burn some sage to be safe. It couldn’t hurt to clean some of the possible bad juju that sunk Citarella (in that location), Avanti market (which I loved), West Elm and Blockbuster video (damn you streaming video!)! Anyway, you can check out their website by clicking here for more details.

Well, the calendar says it’s June and the summer season is defintiely upon us. But like the traffic jams on 27 and the blooms of the rhodaden… Roudaden….. Rhodamorgenterns… errrr… RHODODENDRON (like you know how to spell it?) there are other signs that that it’s that time of year in the Hamptons! Here are a few that I always look for…

Wolffer Vineyards becomes the Pumpkin Town of warm weather on Friday Nights! Screaming kids, parents that ignore them, jazz music and cars lining up and down the highway…. all with Summer in a Bottle… it’s beach living at it’s finest!

People are constantly asking every store, restaurant, real estate office and bank for their wifi password! Cell service sucks in the Hamptons…. we all know it. It’s even suckier in the summer! Period. Listen I get it…. it’s isolating and frustrating. But maybe this summer we can try checking our social media accounts when we get home people!? Nahhhh. I hate talking to people in person too!

There’s a stranded German luxury car on the beach! If you drive two days a week for 12 weeks a year, maybe getting a Range Rover or Merced Audibeach9 es G-Class isn’t such a great Mercedeesbeach idea (also other people need parking spaces too!) Try starting with something smaller and easier to handle and perhaps watertight like a VW bug. Just because you have 4 wheel drive doesn’t mean your car is good for beach driving, especially as the high tide is coming!

Restaurant Managers get Amnesia! If you’ve ever seen the movie “What’s Up Doc,” you’ll remember the scene where Madeline Kahn gets dragged out of a banquet by her heels when her fiance says “I’ve never seen this woman before in my life.” Well that’s how more than a few of us feel this time of year when we head out to eat on weekend night. Ummm, I’m the guy who comes in every Monday in October and April and I’m the only one in the place?! Patrick?! No!? Grrrrrr.

Anyway, enough complaining…. I’m loving the warm weather, the calls from my long lost relatives and paying double for everything! It’s summer in the Hamptons everyone!!! Party on!

EH VILLAGE BEACH PASS UPDATE… & MY LIFE BEHIND BARS!

March 30, 2019March 29, 2019

I can feel it! The days are longer and the weekends are getting a little more crowded with city folk looking for their summer retreat. So while we all enjoy the re-leaf of spring and increasing temperatures, it’s actually time for beach lovers to think about Summer! Yep, those coveted East Hampton Village beach passes have been on sale for a

while now and the supplies are running low. According to the folks at the Village Clerk’s offices there are currently less than 200 still available for the Summer ’19 season. But don’t panic if you can’t make it out here to pick up your sticker. You can go online and purchase your pass. If you need the link, click here. Remember, you need the pass to legally park at village beaches after 9 am to 4pm from May 15th to September 15th. I know with the cold damp weather it might not seem like it, but summer is approaching faster than you know.

Sometimes you really wanna go where everybody knows your name. One way to ensure that will happens is to get in on what more and more Hamptons homeowners are discovering, bars are the new media rooms. Yep, you heard me right! It’s something I discovered for myself a few years ago when my partner and I bought our “spec” house in East Hampton. In the family room was a big, bulky and industrial looking wet bar. It felt like my college pub without the broken glass and funky smell. My first thought was to pull the sucker out but after our first get together we noticed this had become the focal point for the party. Eventually, we renovated and changed the bar to its current state (pictured) where it is still the place everybody hangs! It really makes entertaining fun and apparently I’m not the only one who think so. In just the past few months I’ve listed homes both new and old with expansive set ups; wine fridges, sinks, dishwashers, ice machines, etc. But most important of all buyers are looking for homes that have these entertaining centers. I guess it’s all part of what author Faith Popcorn called cocooning. Home is the place to be and people enjoy bringing the outside world into their homes. Now if I could only get my dog to change his name to Norm. Below some of the more impressive (but far from the only) bars currently on the market. It’s a far cry from that 1970s basement version with the budweiser light and shag carpet.

Lower Level entertaining at 633 Hedges Lane, Sagaponack. $9,995,000. Listed by Douglas Elliman… yours truly! Click for more details.

Arts and Crafts coolness at 44 Little Noyac Path, Water Mill. $5,950,000. Listed by Douglas Elliman Joe Piccininni Click Here for more.

Rooftop cocktails at 6 Union Street, Sag Harbor. $7,495,000. Listed by Compass Kathy Zappola & Scott Strough. Click here for details.

CHEERS!!!