real estate

From Tarts to Triage: A Swiss Bakery and ER Are the New Power Duo You Didn’t Know You Kneaded!

A long-awaited remedy has arrived in East Hampton—and no, it’s not a prix fixe at Nick & Toni’s. The new Stony Brook East Hampton Emergency Department on Pantigo Place is a sleek, 22,000-square-foot sanctuary where cutting-edge medicine meets Hamptons polish. When I first entered the facility, I was greeted by the enticing clear and sterile smell that just had me craving a refreshing IV. Picture sunlit halls, rooftop solar panels, and the kind of swift, attentive care in sleek and stylish scrubs that would make Naomi Campbell jealous. Gone are the days of ambulance rides through Route 27 gridlock—first responders can now deliver patients to top-tier treatment in record time. One EMT called it “unbelievable”—the kind of praise usually reserved for the filet mignon at The Palm.

Open 24/7, the facility offers a resuscitation room, cardiac monitors in every suite, and a full menu of diagnostic delights: MRI, CT, ultrasound, and X-ray. Backed by $42 million in funding and a 99-year lease, it’s emergency care with ambiance. You may not want to end up here—but if you do, you’ll feel like a VIP.

Overheard in the waiting room:
“The service was so fast, I barely had time to finish panicking.”
“They took my vitals and still made me feel like the most important table in the room.”
“Honestly? I’d come back just for the lighting and the cardiac monitoring.”
“It’s like Le Bernardin for medical care—minus the foie gras.”

So many hyped openings out east… so how did I miss this bread-y little secret? Alpina Swiss Bakery in Water Mill has apparently been quietly serving up pretzels, pastries, and proper Alpine carbs for over a year—and I just discovered it like I was Marco Polo stumbling into carbohydrate Shangri-La. Run by Swiss father/son duo Christoph and Robin Mueller (a.k.a. the Edelweiss Mafia), this cozy spot sits next to their Hampton Kitchen Deli and features an open kitchen where you can spy fresh sourdough, croissants and museli being whipped up by a baking dream team. I’ve shamefully been there three times since the discovery. My last indulgence? A turkey and cheese sandwich on a homemade beer pretzel—funky, chewy, a little salty (i think it was the cheese) and weirdly addictive. It’s like Switzerland crash-landed on Montauk Highway, and I’m not mad about it.

Bingo, Babes, and a Whole Lotta Sass — TONIGHT at LTV. Plus, Montauk, Drugs and expensive donuts!

If your idea of a Hamptons night out involves white pants, polite clapping, and someone named Muffy handing out crudités—keep driving. Tonight (yes, TONIGHT, May 16), Wainscott is getting a glitter bomb straight to the face, and we’re here for it.

Our Fabulous Variety Show (OFVS) and LTV Studios are trading in tea lights for twinkle lights with Drag Bingo, hosted by the absolutely divine RaffaShow and Julia Von Cartier. It’s campy, it’s chaotic, and it’s family-friendly—but not in the “we made organic sugar-free cupcakes” kind of way. Think pop-up drag numbers, prizes you actually want, and enough double entendres to make your WASPy dinner date blush.

Tickets start at just $25 and I think include a few bingo cards—because yes, you’ll want to play and win. Got friends? (Lucky you.) Grab a VIP cabaret table for around $200 which seats four, comes with a gift bag stuffed with fabulousness, and gives you twice the bingo cards. Because nothing says power move like extra bingo chances and front-row seats.

The games start at 6:00 p.m. at LTV Studios, 75 Industrial Road, Wainscott. Get tickets by clicking here or call 631.507.4603. Show up. Dress up. Don’t be boring

It’s a common problem here in the Hamptons. You think to yourself, “Self, where can I find someplace to shop that’s absurdly overpriced? No, not there. Or there. I want something different this time.” You are so in luck this summer, as the Sagaponack General Store is re-opening! The store closed in 2020 and has been renovated to look like it did in 1878. (If only the prices were the same…) That includes a chiller that looks like an old-timey icebox. The shop, at 542 Sagg Main Street, will be open 7am – 7pm, seven days a week.


Inside, there’s an old-fashioned penny candy shop, fresh fruit and flowers, an ice-cream station and coffee bar, fresh baked goods, and take-out meals. What we loved about it is they play Skynyrd all the time; who doesn’t like paying $15 for a donut (although its a really good one) while perusing a cleverly curated cafe and beautifully designed space.

Back down on Planet Earth, the hamlet of Montauk is waiting with bated breath for beloved local pharmacist Frank Calvo to open Montauk Chemists. With the closure of White’s, Montauk has been without a pharmacy. He had originally hoped to open earlier, but as he put it, opening a pharmacy is not like opening a T-shirt shop. Literally everything has to be inspected, from the mortar and pestle to the $6,000 scale. There are tiers and tiers of local, state, and federal laws that must be followed. The good news is that the New York State pharma board is supposed to give the shop a final inspection this week, and then Montauk Chemists will be ready to open by this weekend! All of Montauk will rejoice. Congratulations, Frank!

A FEW REASONS WHY 2024 WASN’T SO GREAT!

It’s been far too long since I last posted, and my brain feels like an overstuffed suitcase of annoyances I can’t zip shut. Before I can move forward, I need to vent and get the most maddening trends of 2024 off my chest. From the annoying to the infuriatingly bad, the Hamptons delivered its usual cocktail of glamour and absurdity this year. But some moments just demand a proper takedown. So, let’s dive into the highs, the lows, and the eye-roll-worthy trends (I won’t even bring up the “Housewives” of the Hamptons) that need to be unpacked before I can clear my head and move on.

WORST FASHION TREND OF 2024: There’s nothing quite like spotting a city slicker decked out in head-to-toe designer gear, accessorized with an Amber Waves Farm hat, as if they just finished milking cows instead of sipping a $30 rosé. Newsflash: it doesn’t make you look cool, and it definitely doesn’t make you look earthy. That hat isn’t a shortcut to farm-to-table authenticity—it’s a neon sign flashing “I’m trying too hard.” The vibe isn’t rustic charm; it’s urban douchebaggery with a side of performative granola. No offense to Amber Waves btw… love the place and yes i have the hat but with a Brunello Cucinelli outfit head to toe is more than I can stomach. If you want to buy a hat but promise not wear it with Prada shirt… click here!

Worst Food Trend – There’s a troubling craze in the Hamptons dining scene: restaurants with way too much attitude. You know the type—where snagging an 8 o’clock reservation feels like winning the lottery, only to arrive and find your table isn’t ready. But wait, don’t even think about sliding up to the bar for a drink to kill the time because those spots are apparently “reserved” for people with a reservation. Make it make sense! While I’ll spare actually naming the offenders , let’s call out that place in Sag Harbor for leading the charge. This might fly in NYC, where the vibe thrives on exclusivity, but in the Hamptons? It’s just pretentious—and honestly, exhausting. Honorable mention: XXXXX on Shelter Island for too much attitude.

Worst Media Trend – Another bad trend taking over the Hamptons? Those endless “Top 10” lists. Every publication, website, and influencer under the sun is churning them out, all vying for ad dollars. And surprise, surprise—guess who always makes the cut? The store, the landscaper, designer, plumber, pizza place, and yes, even real estate agent who happens to advertise with them. Shocking, right? My inbox is constantly bombarded with these “best of” compilations, and honestly, I take them with a grain of salt. The only time I really perk up and pay attention? When I’m on the list. Funny how that works.

Worst Landscaping Trend – The Hamptons has a sign problem—everywhere you look, there’s another one cluttering the landscape. Yes, we’re all used to the sea of real estate signs, but what about the ones for builders, designers, landscapers, and politicians that seem to take up permanent residence? Most real estate agents at least have the decency to take their signs down as soon as a property sells, but if the house sold three years ago, why is the designer’s sign still camped out front? This is supposed to be a bucolic retreat, a break from the hustle and bustle of city life—not a patchwork of advertisements making it look more like Long Island City.

Now that I’ve aired my grievances and taken aim at some of the more annoying trends plaguing the Hamptons, I feel like I can finally exhale. Consider it a little housecleaning for the soul—a necessary purge to clear the way for a brighter, more positive outlook. Yes, I know, I’m a bit of a Grinch. But hey, even the Grinch had a change of heart, and so can I. With the venting out of the way, I’m ready to turn my focus to the good stuff ahead: the moments of charm, beauty, and joy that make this place special. Here’s to a fresh start and a year worth celebrating—minus a few extra signs and attitude-filled bars, of course.

PASTABILITIES IN BRIDGEHAMPTON AND TRIVIA FUN PLUS IS COOKIEPUSS A STONER?

Hold onto your taste buds, Bridgehampton! The culinary stars are aligning as Arthur and Sons, the much-talked about NYC Italian joint, gears up for its debut at 203 Bridgehampton – Sag Harbor Turnpike. Picture this: it’s taking over the former stomping grounds of the dearly missed Fresh and Hamptons Aristocrat Catering – talk about a gastronomic glow-up! Joe Isidori, the culinary maestro behind a hip Italian joint that’s become the talk of the town in NYC, recently rocked the Drew Barrymore show. Now, he’s bringing his kitchen wizardry to the Hamptons, promising a menu that’s as buzzworthy as a Hollywood red carpet. Springtime in Bridgehampton just got a whole lot tastier, folks!


In a move that would certainly make Cheech and Chong cheer, Greg Konner of Konner Development, has revealed plans to turn the familiar Carvel on Montauk Highway into a retail pot shop cheekily named Budhampton. Seemingly unfazed by potential backlash from the community and town officials, Konner boldly claims that if he meets the criteria, they can’t say no. The Carvel site apparently checks all the boxes for a retail dispensary, according to town and state regulations. But don’t get nervous you’ll soon have to haul to Southampton for your next Cookie Puss, smoke signals are saying that the Carvel will return soon in an adjacent new commercial location.

Finally, looking for a night filled with some laughter, friendly competition, and tasty waves, I mean bites? Look no further than Trivia Night at Kizzy T’s in East Hampton! Located on Montauk Highway East Hampton, where Bamboo and Zok-Kon once stood, this roadside tavern offers an alternative to a sleepy winter Sunday night. Every week at 7 trivia czar Paul Johnson poses questions, pictures and audio clips that keep you on your toes. And it’s not just about the brainpower – indulge in foosball, darts (booze and sharp objects- hmmm), billiards, and more while downing some pretty darn good chow including smashed burgers, chicken wings, and salmon rice cakes, all for about $20. I recently came close to snagging the $100 gift card, and trust me, the thrill of the game is worth it alone. For a night of fun, food, and fantastic memories, Kizzy T’s is the place to be. Check out their website at www.kizzyt.com for more details.