A few years ago, I gave some homeowners the ultimate guide (click here) to getting rid of those guests that just can’t take a hint. You know the types, that turn a two day invitation into a living hell only to discuss extending their stay! Well, today’s blog isn’t about how to get them to leave, it’s about giving them parameters for being invited next summer! Yep print this out and leave it on the dresser or send this blog link with a wink and a nod and say, “but you know I don’t mean YOU!”
So here you go, my attempt at preventing animosity, hurt feelings, bruised egos…
and most of all bloodshed. This is the ultimate Hamptons chatter guide for houseguests on HOW TO GET INVITED BACK!
1- Pick up your dishes! The sink isn’t magic and those dishes you leave in the sink don’t get rinsed and put into the dishwasher by a group of unemployed Keebler elves.
This means your coffee cups, wine glasses, bagel dishes and jam crusted knives need YOU to rinse them off and put them into the dishwasher! If the said washer is dirty and the housekeeper has the day off, here’s a great way to earn brownie points… empty the thing!!!
2- Don’t use a new towel every ten minutes! Most of us don’t have a full time staff or an unlimited supply of bath and beach towels. One of the biggest complaints I hear from Hamptons homeowners is when guests go through the linen closet booty like tissue paper.
Try limiting your use to one beach/pool towel and one bath towel. Unless you’re helping with the lawn or cleaning my septic tank, odds are you can hang your towels and reuse the next day!
3-Don’t drink (or eat) more than you bring – If you bring one bottle of Boone’s Farm Blue Hawaiian wine feel free to drink it and offer your host a glass. Do not take said Blue Hawaiian put it on a shelf and then proceed to drink all of my Sancerre. That’s just not nice! Buy a nice bottle of wine anytime you visit the Hamptons … it’s the right thing to do. Also, if you plan on going on a bender, it’s a good idea to make it a case.
4- No fighting – You might not think this needs to be mentioned but believe you me…. it’s worth bringing up. If you want to be a good guest don’t fight with the hosts, don’t fight with the other guests and don’t fight with your companion. This means avoid drinking too much, don’t talk about politics and religion and don’t be cranky. Always remember, you got invited because your hosts enjoy your company…. be enjoyable!
5- If you’re in a bad mood or don’t feel like socializing don’t come! Yes, most Hamptons homes have wi-fi. Yes, the guest rooms are comfortable. Yes, most have central air. But if that’s an excuse for staying in your room all day, why are you even there!!!!???? Stay in the city or check into a Holiday Inn express… you’ll feel smarter!
6 – Eat in the Kitchen – Do you do that at your own home? Do not take Toasted Coconut Entenmann Donuts without a napkin into the bedroom or anywhere else around the house. Also, eating your chicken salad sandwich with a side of guac and chips in the pool and hot tub is kind of a faux pas.
7- Wear clothes around the house – I know. I didn’t think this needed mentioning TOO but butts aren’t always good. Especially if you’re sitting in someone’s living room. But then again if you look like a supermodel….
Now excuse me, as I wrap up this blog. I’ll now get off my soapbox and put some of that soap in the washer and start cleaning more of your towels.