renee zellweger

What’s with the attitutde!!!???

The Hamptons are getting some bad press lately and personally I find this shocking!!! One would have thought with the lousy weather and that in turn causing a lousy turnout on top of everything else in the world.. one would think we would have a season with better food, better service and a better attitude in Hampton’s restaurants. Well guess what!? You were wrong.

Gawker has made it a sport for attacking Hamptons attitude and the first target they assassinated was “Georgica!” Watch the video!!
http://gawker.com/5299198/the-hamptons-still-sucking
Then there’s the “Blue Parrot” owned by the trio of Perlman, Zellweggerrere (whatever) and Bon Jovi. Yes, they’re finally open but I haven’t had a chance to go yet. I heard the food is pretty good but the portions are tiny. But have no fear, the margaritas are here… and from what I hear they’re strong. The only odd thing I find about all of this is… THEY HAVE A BOUNCER! How come they didn’t have bouncers at the Chi-Chi’s I used to frequent in college! Well it wasn’t in the Hamptons for one! I promise I’ll go in the next few days to the “Parrot” and let you know if it’s everything I hear. If they let me in! ONE LAST THOUGHT… Why is HBO playing “FRED CLAUS” in the middle of June?!?

When will the Parrot finally take flight??.. don’t say anything in the Hamptons unless you want the world to hear !!

So, we’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting for the return of good mexican food to the Hamptons. I’m sure you’re all thinking I’m going to be mentioning a 7-11 Bean Burrito again.. but I can’t. I do love the nachos and the margaritas at La Superica in Sag Harbor but I’m not 25 and I actually like being able to hear my what my dinner companions say.. well certain dinner companions anyway.

I’m hoping BLUE PARROT will open soon. The longstanding tex-mex casa is being revised and revamped with the help of billionaire Ron Perelman, Jon Bon Jovi and Renee Zell…e…weigers..ener (I so can’t spell). The current owners promise it will have the same atmosphere as the old hangout but with a new chef and better food. I personally don’t remember what the food tasted like but the margaritas were amazing — oh maybe that’s why I never really tasted the food! I went by on Saturday morning.. no luck… called on Sunday… no answer and the message machine was full. Alright guys…we need guacamole now!! Open Already!!
Overheard:

A woman talking at the bar at Bobby Van’s about her upbringing; “Wolves would have done a better job than my parents!”

Two twentysomething Prada Princesses eating ice cream in East Hampton village and remarking on the young woman with her much older husband and their triplets: “Those aren’t children, they’re a science experiment!”
At a dinner party Saturday night held by a major Hollywood big-wig: “I take care of myself…. I treat my body well… I treat it like a pharmacy.”
Two “masters of the universe” discussing the new way of doing business: “I’m used to having free range in my business.” – I guess that’s not too bad… he could be a farmer with chickens?!

 

SPIN, SPIN, SPIN…. BUT NOT TOO FAST! WE HAVE RULES AGAINST THAT IN THE HAMPTONS!!

I’m sweaty and I’m in pain… and that’s the good news. For those of you just coming out east for the first time since last year, Zone Hampton has undergone some changes. Gone are the old stationary spin cycles, and in are RealRyder Core Balance bikes. According to local legend (Sam who does the check in) these bikes help you burn up to 30% more calories than a normal spin class. I need to burn more calories too… my closet is starting to look like the “huskies” section from MEN’S WEARHOUSE. The manufacturers web site states that this bike “It tilts, turns, and banks like an outdoor bike–works out the core, upper body, legs, cardio, and improves balance the way other indoor cycling bikes can’t.” The first time I tried to get on I fell off the bike, which is better than falling off the wagon!

I went Sunday, Wed and this morning and I feel like Grandpa Walton. Zone Hampton is great, the instructors are fun and the occasional star watching is fun too; Matthew Broderick was in one of my classes and Renee Zellwegererereazzxer… you know the chick from “Jerry Maguire” has been spotted. This in spite of the fact she came skillfully disguised in hat and sunglasses (which must have caused even more sweating). If you happen to know Ms Renee, tell her shouting and squealing like a mouse caught in a glue trap can blow your cover! Anyway, more information about the classes? Go to… http://www.ridethezone.com/.
While going fast at spin class is good… going fast anywhere in the Hamptons is very bad. The Hamptons have always been a bad place for future Andretti’s but this year it seems worse! They’re are speed traps everywhere!!! I mean EVERYWHERE! If you don’t carry a fresh box of Krispe Creme donuts I advise you all to mind the speedometer. So… what are you to do… keep the following in mind:
-East Hampton… don’t go down Race Lane on weekend mornings if you have an expired inspection sticker. The town police are often there checking every car that goes by.
-Main St. Sag Harbor, East and Southampton… don’t speed… not only is it dangerous (pedestrians pop out of cars all of the time) but they’re there with radar guns… ALL OF THE TIME!
-Coming into Southampton where route 27 enters into Southampton by Mason Ole or as I call it Mason Ptomaine! Anyway, the nasty signs are gone.. but the speed traps are not!!!
-Finally on Scuttle Hole Rd. in Water Mill where it meets Head of Pond, don’t’ even think of speeding… not only will you get a ticket but you may very well be eating venison for dinner and have a hefty hefty repair bill for the new cracked grill! Personally, I find venison too gamy so I drive the speed limit!
If you don’t want to take my advice and you get busted… I found this website… I’ve never had to use them but i love the address; http://southamptontraffictickets.com/
Finally we’re almost done our sample unit at 21 W. Water St. http://www.21wwater.com/. If you’re on my mailing list don’t worry you’ll be invited to our sunset cocktail soiree in the next week or so! It’s going to be awesome, AWESOME, AWESOME, so make sure you’re on my list and e mail me!! Ciao!