Hamptons Showdown Part 1… why, where and how much! And MANGIA in E. Hampton!

Well it’s that time of the year where you need to mark your calendars and your Marc Jacobs outfits to what weekend benefit you’re going to hit this coming summer.    If you ever saw that mini-series by Barbara Koppel “The Hamptons,”  you know it’s all about the benefits.  What you wear, who you’re seen with and what publication takes your picture!  Since there are so many benefits this summer, I’m going to break this into two parts this summer and give you the pluses the minuses of this summer’s benefits.

Kicking it all off on 5/26/12 is Miracle House Summer Kickoff – Miracle House is a non-profit extended stay facility that provides housing, counseling and support for those seeking treatment in NYC and need assistance.   The location is the Bridgehampton Surf an Tennis Club.. and this is a huge event.

While it started as an AIDS charity and therefore has a strong gay following,  it benefits everyone from young to old with any illness.  Tickets start at $300 and go up!

The best reason to go: Taylor Dayne will be performing live and it’s a ton of fun for a great cause.  Potential Reason to skip it:  Most of the “boys” will be better dressed than you and in better shape!

Southampton Fresh Air Home Sale and Auction Benefit Gala – Southampton FAH provides a camp experience for physically challenged youth with sailing, swimming, hiking, etc.   The benefit is held at their facility on
Barkers Island Road in Southampton  It’s one of the more mellow benefits of the season but it’s a who’s who’s mixer for everyone in Southampton.   Tickets once again go for $300 and up.

The best reason to go:  The furniture in the silent auction is amazing stuff… they’re are also great trips and everything from teeth whitening to fishing trips available! Potential reason to skip it:  The auction items here don’t go for TJ Maxx prices (it’s the Hamptons folks, people are generous) and the tooth whitening I won two years ago cost me like $20k after the dentist discovered my need for 3 root canals!

The Retreat – Artists Against Abuse – The Retreat is a safe house for victims of family violence in addition to conducting educational outreach programs that advocate non-violence.   It’s one of the more relaxed benefits of the summer and usually a great time!  The benefit will be held at the Ross School facilities on Butter Lane (same as last year). Tickets start at $150 for the pre-party and go up from there!

The best reason to go: The ART !  Hello everyone from Dan Rizzi (this year’s honoree) to April Gornick and Ross Bleckner have been featured at previous auctions.  The selection is amazing. Potential Reason to skip it:  Have you seen any work from Bob Ross of PBS fame? NO! Plus, add insult to injury, no potential fluorescent works to replace my Led Zepplin poster under the black lightt!!!

 American Heart Association’s Heart of the Hamptons – Widely recognized as a premier philanthropic and festive event in the Hamptons. The Heart of the Hamptons Ball has raised over $2.5 million for the American Heart Association since it began 15 years ago.   The event is held at the Hayground School in Bridgehampton on Mitchell’s Lane.  Tickets start at $500 and go up.

The best reason to go:  The Goody Bag is one of the best of the season!   Have you seen any wrinkles on my face lately!?  NO, that’s because I got this amazing moisturizer in last years bag!   Potential Reason to skip it:   Just because you devour every passed hors d’ourves at the cocktail hour doesn’t mean you have an inside track for winning those training sessions in the silent auction.  FAT ALARM!

Finally, according to their Faceboook page, the new and improved Red Horse Market is open for business!!! I’m totally psyched and once again Pasquale’s fresh home made mozzarella will be a staple for my summer dinner parties.   The hours according to the page are 6am to 9pm!  How cool, I don’t have to rush home from work to make a 6pm closing time!!  The phone is 631-324-9500 if you want more details! MANGIA!!!

Welcome to Hell Hamptons and a weeks worth of blogging!!!

Yeah, I was busy last week and it took me some time before I could take some pen to the page I’m still in recovery between work and the events south of the highway LAST WEEK, and north of the highway too. Heavy rains and high winds knocked down trees, downed power lines and overflowed ponds from Montauk to Quogue. A friend sent me this picture from Sagaponack where a tree got it’s revenge and cut power to some folks in the area. It was horrendous! The high tech phones… the Wolf stoves.. the Tivo’s…. the radiant heated floors were all kaput!! In fact, some home owners were trapped like a group of Iranian hostages behind the gates of their homes that wouldn’t work because, they’re electric!!! Thank goodness for 911, they were throwing pate and cashmere blankets to all of those south of the highway families in need!!!

In a similar vein, the New York Post has scooped Hamptons Chatter yet again! Apparently writer and the east end’s own Mr. Ripley Steven Gaines has joined forces with the Post to label the east end a “third world country!” Said the article “Bentley – and Mercedes Benz-driving Hamptonites are suffering blowouts and bent rims because of huge potholes on Route 27.” Wow, it sounds like a Roland Emmerich movie!!! 2010! Maybe we can also get a great special effects shot of an expensive mansion falling into the sea!? Wait, I forgot no effects needed we can just shoot that happening to Estee Lauder heir Ron Lauder’s house as we speak!

Finally… restaurant week came and went. I tried Rugosa for the first time in about a year. The menu is a little better…. the food is pretty good but they need to hire bus boys! The wait staff was sweating bullets on Friday night trying to wait on tables and clean them at the same time. I don’t care how good the food is if the experience sucks I won’t go back. SWEATING AND PANTING WAITERS AND WAITRESSES IS NOT A GOOD EXPERIENCE!