MUST READ: NEW RULES ON SUMMER RENTALS… BUT FIRST CIABATTA TRY THIS PLACE!

A view to a kill… of your diet!
A really cook kinda bakery! Carissa’s new location!

It’s here!! After much anticipation Carissa’s Bakery has expanded and opened a new cafe at the former home of Turtle Crossing in East Hampton! If you don’t know Carissa’s you should! The Village favorite that features some of the most awe inspiring cakes, pies and breads (sourdough pickled rye bread… OMG!) will now serve a full menu from breakfast to dinner at the new cafe. While I haven’t sat down to eat a full meal yet at the new location, the facility at 221 Pantigo place is impressive. I recently had one of their amazing gourmet sandwiches which has me eager to come back and try their soon to be expanded menu along with one of their carefully curated wines. The fact Carissa’s serves from mainly local providers and features one of the more innovative menus I’ve seen, has me thinking this new addition to East End dining will be packed. If you want more information about the new cafe or on Carissa’s original bakery you can click here.

Left Facing Red For Rent Real Estate Sign in Front of Beautiful House.

Meanwhile if you’ve ever rented your home in the Hamptons, here is a bit of news you can’t afford to ignore. Effective July 14th landlords are now limited to collect no more than one months rent in advance for any lease. This means a whole new way of doing business for agents in these neck of the woods. For example, a summer rental from Memorial Day to Labor day would usually require about 50% up front at the signing of the lease and the remainder due before taking possession. Now, a landlord can connect no more than one month’s rent in advance and that includes security deposit! Considering most landlords in the Hamptons handle these rentals themselves, it’s an added layer of headache for anyone who wants to take that summer trip and leave the mayhem of summer. In addition to all of this there are now caps on late fees, tenant screenings and time frames for evictions. If you want more information on this headache inducing new way of doing things, make sure to click here on attorney Andrew Lieb’s outline of the new regulations in this weeks Dan’s Papers.

INSTAGRAM COOL AND ANOTHER REASON WHY RENTING OFF THE INTERNET IS RISKY!

FOR RENTAGAIN!??? A few days ago, I got an inquiry about one of my rental listings.    While this is pretty common this time of year, what was unusual is that the inquiry came from a young woman in the city who apparently had been in communication with “me.”   Lucky for her, she accidently deleted the email chain and had to google “me” to make contact again.  The only problem is she was not corresponding with me but rather someone who had cloned my rental listing online and placed a short term rental ad on Craigslist.    It’s sad but this is not the first time this has happened to me.    Apparently this person was charging $500/night for 6+ bedroom house south of the highway with the money due upfront.   Hey, once again if it looks too good to be true kids…. it’s probably a scam.     Meanwhile, I encouraged her to either use a broker or even look at sites like VRBO and skip Craigslist.     In the end I alerted to Craigslist to this fraudulent ad and 5 days later, they’ve yet to remove it.     I know I didn’t post it nor did the owner of the house.     Meanwhile, if any of you are planning to impersonate me online….. can you at least give me six pack abs in any of the photos?

Now after dealing with all of this drama, I’m going to spend some time relaxing and go cruising on Instagram.    I mean, what better way to appreciate the Hamptons than eating cookies, lying on the sofa and seeing how much more fun everyone else is having!!?   But before I tell you who I’m following, feel free to follow me at @PJMHAMPTONS.     You can learn all about my dogs, Tate’s cookies and my latest properties for sale.

@roundswampfarm & @loavesandfishesfoodstore –  The ultimates in Hamptons food porn!   I mean how else would you learn that the Jalapeno Bean Burger is back or th

Raspberry+Almond+Cookies
Lisa’s Raspberry cookie @roundswamnpfarm

at you need an almond cheese danish!?

@hamptonsrealestateshowcase – a quick peek at some of the newest and best real estate properties around.

@thewatermillcenter – The center that hosts one of the funkiest events of the summer also gives you an amazing look into some cutting edge art pieces via their Instagram posts.   Featuring everything from Lady Gaga to well, who knows this is a must follow.

@hamptonscarspotter – exotic, classic and anything that looks cool on wheels is featured in this east end account.   So far, they’ve not yet featured my 14 year old Jeep Sahara with 100k miles but hey the summer is still young.

@libbylangdon – Libby is an interior designer and TV personality with quick ideas for making your home a little more “Hamptons.”   Her sunny and perky and informative posts will wake you up faster than two cups of espresso!

@modelbartenders – if you don’t have good looking friends you might as well have some good looking staff.  RIGHT?! Ok, technically this is a NYC based account but they do serve the Hamptons and it features models!  EYE CANDY!

@truth_training – you’ll never get to be a @modelbartender unless you work out like the folks on this account.   I find it so inspiring I’m going to do some kettlebell lifts right after I finish the cinnamon roll from @roundswampfarm.  Seriously though there is some great information about their classes and ideas for fighting flab.

Cover_White
The new book by @justfredericoazevedo

 

@hedgeshamptons – meet the brokers, celebrity news and go behind the hedges (get it?) of some of the most stunning homes you can’t afford.      Yep, its total real estate porn and worth following!

@justfredericoazevedo and @hollander_design – two of the hottest landscape designers around!     Be inspired by Frederico Azevedo and Ed Hollander or just be wowed by their stunning landscape designs.   It’s like a walk in the park without leaving your sofa… or your Tate’s cookies.

@gimmeshelteranimalrescue – Cuteness overload and they’re all available for adoption!  Share some of their posts and maybe you can get a furry fur legged friend a home.

@Mecoxbaydairy – it’s a glimpse into country living at its best.   Cheese.  MMMMMMM… CHEEEESSEEE.   Oh and there’s also COWS!   Who doesn’t like looking at the face of a cow!!?  Of course, unless it’s before your going to LT Burger.

 

cows
@mecoxbaydairy … COWS!

 

 

 

A BIG EMPTY SCOOP IN EAST HAMPTON… PLUS FINDING MY FURRY FRIEND A HOME!

Just what East Hampton needs before the season… another commercial property going vacant.  Yes, the scoop is that Scoop is shuttering it’s doors on Newton Lane in the next weeks.   The two decade old luxury retailer is holding an inventory liquidation sale right now.   Known for their eclectic brands of high end duds,  rumor has it that the retailer will be shuttering all their doors in the next few weeks.   According to reports, they already shut their Soho outlet sometime earlier this week.

Soho…Soho??? Is that anywhere near the Tanger Mall in Riverhead?   Damn, I’ve been living here in the Hamptons too long.  ANYWAY, it’s time to get your butt to the store before their inventory is gone!    If you can’t make it, you can always go to their website www.scoopnyc.com,   where the discounts have already begun.

Speaking of sales and saving money,  the clock is ticking for Suffolk county homeowners looking to file for a property tax grievance.   The deadline is end of business day this Monday the 16th.   If you want more information, you can go to the NY State website and then click on your individual town.    You can also do a quick google search online for one of a number of tax reduction services.   Most of them don’t charge anything unless you actually get a reduction.   If you do, they’ll take about 50% of your first year’s savings.   Check with each service about their individual fees and procedures.

Meet Mattie!!!

Finally, a little bragging from me.   For the next few weeks, I’m working together with the folks at Gimme Shelter Animal Rescue in Southampton to feature an adoptable “Pet of the Week.”   You can see the ad in Dan’s Papers or follow me on Twitter or Instagram.   While I’m sure some of you out there would have preferred that I sponsor a “Penthouse Pet” of the week, I thought it would be more beneficial to feature the one that would likely be better company!    if you want more information about my buddy Mattie, check out www.gimmeshelteranimalrescue.org.

Have a great weekend everyone!

 

Do You Make the Cut?! Take the Quiz to See if You Qualify for The Hamptons “A LIST!”

When I was younger, I once asked my mother about one of my friends who always bragged about the  money his family had.   She told me, “real money whispers, it doesn’t scream.”    Hmmmmm….. “does that mean we have money?”  She then laughed and said “hardly.”    Anyway,  I kind of feel the same way about a lot of things.   I don’t trust the guy who always claims he’s “honest” and I don’t believe the person who brags about their social status.

If you booked it 20 minutes ago, you’re A List!

That being said, It was the late 80’s and I was living in NYC having fun, care free, poor and young.    I had no clue about how some people view the world.   So, it was a shock to me when one of my close friends at the time announced to me he no longer wished to hang the same haunts with me anymore because, “there are no “A” list people in this crowd.”   OK!   Who knew New Orleans (where this person lived before NY) was a training ground for New York’s elite.    Silly me.   Well low and behold that same person is here in the Hamptons and no doubt glomming where ever there is glomming to be done!  So that had me thinking.  How do you really know if you’re on the “A” list in the Hamptons?   After consulting with some of my fave’ Hamptons Chatter consultants I came up with the following quiz to help folks know where they rank in the hierarchy!    So take the quiz if you dare!    I’ll let you know how you did at the end!

Question 1:   It’s a Saturday night in July and you have 2 house guests.   There are 4 of you total and you all decide at the last minute to go out to dinner.   Do you…

A)   Not sweat it, there are like 5 restaurants you can call who will sneak you in!
B)   Run over a few minutes early and hope they remember you and get you to the top of the list.
C)   Go to the restaurant of choice and put your name on the list and wait.
D)   Suggest the Princess Diner.
E)   Burger bites to go from the Hess station in Wainscott.

Question 2:  When it comes to getting a beach sticker, you….

A)  Ask “what’s a beach sticker?  I just walk out my door! ”
B)  Get a new one and put it on your “beach car” next to the past 5 years of stickers!
C)  Don’t need one, we bike!
D)  Convince everyone Mastic-Shirley is still the Hamptons and hop in the car!

Yeah, Mariska is A list!

Question 3:  When discussing Hamptons Magazine or Dan’s, you remind everyone…
A)  “I’ve been on the cover.” (or in the case of Dan’s painted the cover)
B)  “Been profiled and or been on the “list” more than once!”
C)  you were once in party picture, because you “photo bombed Alec Baldwin.”
D)  you’ve “never been in Hamptons or Dan’s” but you’re a “regular in the Press police blotter.”

Question 4:  Location is everything and your home is …
A) South of the Highway and super close to the beach.
B) Village/Village Fringe and definitely a good hood.
C)  A 30 minute drive to town away from it all but really we don’t mind.
D) Can’t really say, they make us move the trailer every two weeks.

A “C” list event!

Question 5: My typical Summer Saturday night consists of…
A) Inviting everyone to a fabulous benefit and I’m on the host committee.
B) Going to a fabulous benefit and my friend is on the host committee.
C) Hiding a bottle of booze, grabbing dinner from Citarella and heading to a beach.
D) Going to a dinner followed by Kareoke at my real estate agent’s house.
E) I desperately remain at home, inventing lovers on the phone.

Question 6:  How would you best describe the interior of your home?
A)  I had a fabulous up and coming designer create a unique style.
B)  I had a fabulous up and coming designer help me from DWR/Restoration Hardware.
C)  I had a fabulous up and coming designer from Home Goods in Riverhead.
D)  I had a fabulous up and coming designer help me who was institutionalized in ’73.
E)  I had my mother give me her old furniture.

Question 7:  In the Hamptons being spotted with a celebrity is social gold!  Would you say you hang with…
A)  Madge, Jerry, J-Lo and we rotate hosting!
B)  My friend who won a Emmy/Grammy or Tony back in the 80’s/90’s!
C)  My friend who was a Real Housewife!
D)  Khloe and Kourtney … in fact, I found them their store location!
E)   My friend who was a guest on Jerry Springer!  But the kid wasn’t his.

Question 8:  When traveling to the East End in the summer do you…

Dan’s your gateway to A- List!

A)   Stay put at the beach till Labor Day.
B)   Have your driver take the back roads on Thursdays and Tuesdays.
C)   Take the Ambassador or Luxury Liner.
D)   Take the NJ Transit Casino bus to AC with the $15 in free quarters.

Question 9:   One institution in the Hamptons is Murph’s Tavern in Sag Harbor.    You ….
A) have been a few times with the nanny or tennis instructor so don’t tell my spouse.
B) Remark, “That bar on 114,  I went a few times.”
C) Get your mail delivered there!
D) Sniff “Never, someone might see me!”

Question 10:   A topic of conversation at dinner is …
A) The difficulty in finding a good personal chef!
B) The difficulty in finding a good caterer!
C) The difficulty in finding good take out food!
D) The A****** on the “B” weekend who keeps stealing your booze out of the refrigerator!

So here’s the key…. A answers are worth 10 points.  B- 8 Points  C- 7 Points   D-6 points
E – minus one point and if none of the answers apply 7.5 points.   Now grade yourself like you were back in High School!  If you scored…

90-100 –YOU ARE “A” LIST!!! You are Hamptons Royalty and probably shouldn’t be reading this blog.  Trust me it’s beneath you.

80-89–    You are definitely B-List.   I scored an 80 so I made B-List by the hair of my chinny chin chin!  So there you have it my friend had every right to dump me!  I’m soooo not A-List!

70-79    You are on the C list but loving life and I want to hang with you!

69 and below  Can I recommend Wildwood Crest or Seaside Heights?

FINAL SCORING: Minus 90 points if you took this quiz seriously you loser!    Otherwise, let me know how you did!  Post away!