sagaponackWhat would you pay for 2 acres south of the highway in Sagaponack?   Yes, it has lush vegetation and is located in one of the most expensive zip codes in the country.    Before you answer,  just know it also has a large building envelope and includes an historic barn that was built in the 1890’s.     Oh, it’s also super close to the Sag General store too.   Well rather than make you guess I’ll let you read the ad from Zillow.     Call me crazy but I think this might be a little aggressive.  Look for price reductions soon.    No it’s not my listing… it’s a for sale by owner.    By the way, if you need to click the financing options button you probably can’t afford it.

Screen Shot 2018-08-17 at 7.52.01 AM.png – hopefully they’re negotiable


Yep, it’s the height of the summer season right now here in the Hamptons.    It’s a time for hot hazy days, warm ocean surf and a slew of stars.    But not the kind in the sky, the kind that have twitter accounts and get better service at restaurants than you or I.      Speaking of which; I’ve been asking some of my friends from the biz (yes, most are bartenders– stop it!)  who are some of their favorite famous clientele?     Here are a few names that were thrown out.   All are noted for being friendly, courteous and above all good tippers.

Paul McCartney – He’s “awesome” said one person and very generous.

23rd Annual Simply Shakespeare
They love him, yeah yeah.

Hugh Jackman –  He and his wife are super appreciative and friendly according to my sources.

Jimmy Fallon –  He and his wife always introduce themselves (seriously) to staff and are friendly and outgoing.    Occasionally likes to prank with the staff.

Alec Baldwin – He’s a local and frequent visitor about town, restaurant staff members all remark he’s a “good guy.”  They also point out his wife Hilaria is a super sweet.

Howard Stern – Sits in the back of restaurants as to not attract attention, quiet and really nice to everyone from the front to the back of the house.  He’s also a very very generous tipper.

Gwyneth Paltrow – Yep, she’s goop and spends tons of money on things that most of us can’t even contemplate (check but she’s friendly and shares the wealth with the help.  To quote one source,  “she doesn’t make a fuss when she comes in.”

Jessica Biel – One story involves some rowdy fans approaching her and her husband (who is apparently also famous) in the middle of dinner.    She smiled, posed for selfies and left a nice tip at the end of the meal.     Here’s hoping the Timberlake’s buy out here soon.   I’m happy to help.

Sag Harbor’s Countess

Countess Luann de Lesseps – I don’t watch the housewives… never have… probably never will.. but the buzz around town especially in Sag Harbor is that this lady is just that.

There are a few names I could have put on this list that most waiters and waitresses avoid like the plague.    But I’m trying to stay positive, but if you see me in person feel free to ask.






I’m sorry but I’m confused.   This past Winter sucked… tons of snow… tons of cold…. a loooooong winter and yet “the ticks are worse than ever!”   I thought if we had a cold winter then the tick population would be smaller.   They froze right?!  But now, I keep hearing the ticks are worse this year because we had a cold winter!  My head is hurting.  This is more head ache inducing than watching Madonna act…. the same bad actress who apparently doesn’t like paying taxes for her Hamptons spread!! Hmmmmmm.


But I digress, Recently I got an e mail from a Mr. Richard Feder from Fort Lee, NJ who writes.   “Dear Hamptons Chatter, So what’s the real deal on the ticks this year?   Which kind of tick just bit me?  Do I have Lyme disease or Lime disease? How do I remove a tick?   Is it really worse this year than last year?   What can I do to help keep ticks away?”     Well Mr. Feder, you ask a lot of gross questions that I don’t want to answer. So instead, I’m suggesting you go visit the University of Rhode Island’s website  There you’ll find the answers to everything you wanted to know about ticks that I found too gross to answer.   One thing they do say on the site is that it is indeed worse this year than last year because of the cold.  Uggghhhhh.  Anyway, from the site… some good advice for parents….

Another thing about the East End that I also find puzzling is the name of some of the streets out here. I mean it’s the Hamptons!   Shouldn’t all the streets have beautiful and idyllic names?   Well that’s my point.   If you’re a home owner on one of these following streets, I suggest you get together with your neighbors and push for a name change.   Not only might it help improve property values, it might also look a lot better on your next holiday card’s return address.    In no particular order by the way here are some streets that could benefit from a name change.*

Prime location… questionable name!

Swamp Road -EH- As my friend Bill Mccuddy says, “only in the Hamptons will people pay $2 million to live on a road called Swamp.”     My suggestion is to rename this Cedar Vista Way.    Isn’t that better?!

Widow Gavits Road -Sag Harbor- OMG… really?   So sad.   How about we call it, “New Chapter Lane.”   I mean no disrespect to Mr. Gavits but don’t you think it’s time she moves on?

You named a street after him?

Van Houton Street – Southampton (Riverhead) – They named a street after Millhouse?  The geeky kid?!  How about Bart Boulevard instead.  It still has that comic appeal but less nerdy!

Mount Misery – Sag Harbor – Put on the Barry Manilow albums and get me a razor blade!  It’s actually a really nice street and close to Sag Harbor Village  But oh that name!!   So what to do? Let’s rename it Fallon Way… after Jimmy Fallon!  My favorite Hamptons celebrity who seems to always be happy and friendly to everyone!  OK, how do we start this petition!?

Dead Trail – Southampton – It’s located right off of Bridies path…. so why not call it Groomies path? Everyone loves a bride and groom.  It’s a good location and surrounded by trees but what a bummer of a name.  Although it’s a perfect location during Halloween!  Insert scary laugh here!

*not sure if it will really help values but hopefully you got a good chuckle.

The Chinese Democracy of Blog Posts… The Winners and Losers of Summer 2014!

Yes, sometimes it’s worth the wait and other times it’s the equivalent of “The Phantom Menace.”     Its been a few weeks since I’ve sat in front of this computer and contemplated a new installment of Hamptons Chatter.   But that doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about this blog.     Some of the observations I’ve made over the past few weeks but weren’t worthy of a full musing are being poured into this latest posting.   So, will it be worth it?   Of course because doesn’t everyone love when someone else tells them if they’re hip or hopeless?

Chef Eric Miller created a winner with Bay Kitchen!

New Restaurant:

Winner:  Bay Kitchen in East Hampton –  Bay Kitchen has it all;  a killer review in the NY Times under it’s belt, a killer location and good service.
Loser:     Harlow in Sag Harbor – It had the location and the buzz but bad service and bad attitudes killed the fun quicker than your elderly grandmother’s surprise visit during that last college toga party.
Winner:  Channing Daughters, Wolffer and Bedell Rose wines –  A shortage of local rose wine says it all.  It was “THE” drink at benefits and bbq’s this past summer.
Loser:    The BBC at Cyril’s –  a temporary loss of a liquor license  not to mention that you
get a blood alcohol spike by just walking in the parking lot (you could lose that sobriety chip), led to a summer of despair for more than a few fans of Napeague’s favorite haunt.

Winner:   Studio 89 in Sag Harbor – Rich Decker has created a bright, clean and airy space where they actually like their clientele!Loser:       Equinox Fitness – You guys keep taunting us with opening in the Hamptons.  Until you do you will remain on the loser list!  If you open out here next year, we’ll talk!

Hamptons Celebrity:
Winner:   Jimmy Fallon – He’s now a Hamptons home owner and you’ll see him tooling around town year round.   He’s taken over the Tonight Show and invigorated it with his own brand of humor and made it his own.  It’s the same way he behaves at restaurants and stores around town; friendly and approachable.   Why can’t all celebrities be more like Jimmy Fallon!?Loser:     He’s Chevy Chase and you’re not… and neither is Jimmy Fallon!  That is a good thing. The humorless and unfriendly failed talk show host, unemployed sit com star and father in law to a midnight swimming lad who had the town searching frantically at night for his whereabouts is nothing like Fallon.   Hey Chevy, if you’re not busy maybe you can finally make “Snow Day 2?”Hamptons Media/News source:
Winner:  Hamptons Magazine  – The biggest and the best and the only one that doesn’t take resort living too seriously.  Hamptons magazine is the fun yearbook for the East End and the only one I know people actually talk about during the summer!  “Hey, you were on the list!”  Hint!

Loser:     Hamptons Chatter –  Inconsistent updates with a bad layout and too snarky for my taste!   Besides does anybody read that blog anyway?
Fashion Statement:
Winner:   Vineyard vines – Their polos are stylish and reasonably priced!  It’s cool preppy chic and you can’t buy them at TJ Maxx.   Not that there is anything wrong being a Maxinista!  It’s also not
contributing to Polo-fication of East Hampton.
Loser:  Crocs –   If I have to tell you why, then you shouldn’t be reading this blog!