Bingo, Babes, and a Whole Lotta Sass — TONIGHT at LTV. Plus, Montauk, Drugs and expensive donuts!

If your idea of a Hamptons night out involves white pants, polite clapping, and someone named Muffy handing out crudités—keep driving. Tonight (yes, TONIGHT, May 16), Wainscott is getting a glitter bomb straight to the face, and we’re here for it.

Our Fabulous Variety Show (OFVS) and LTV Studios are trading in tea lights for twinkle lights with Drag Bingo, hosted by the absolutely divine RaffaShow and Julia Von Cartier. It’s campy, it’s chaotic, and it’s family-friendly—but not in the “we made organic sugar-free cupcakes” kind of way. Think pop-up drag numbers, prizes you actually want, and enough double entendres to make your WASPy dinner date blush.

Tickets start at just $25 and I think include a few bingo cards—because yes, you’ll want to play and win. Got friends? (Lucky you.) Grab a VIP cabaret table for around $200 which seats four, comes with a gift bag stuffed with fabulousness, and gives you twice the bingo cards. Because nothing says power move like extra bingo chances and front-row seats.

The games start at 6:00 p.m. at LTV Studios, 75 Industrial Road, Wainscott. Get tickets by clicking here or call 631.507.4603. Show up. Dress up. Don’t be boring

It’s a common problem here in the Hamptons. You think to yourself, “Self, where can I find someplace to shop that’s absurdly overpriced? No, not there. Or there. I want something different this time.” You are so in luck this summer, as the Sagaponack General Store is re-opening! The store closed in 2020 and has been renovated to look like it did in 1878. (If only the prices were the same…) That includes a chiller that looks like an old-timey icebox. The shop, at 542 Sagg Main Street, will be open 7am – 7pm, seven days a week.


Inside, there’s an old-fashioned penny candy shop, fresh fruit and flowers, an ice-cream station and coffee bar, fresh baked goods, and take-out meals. What we loved about it is they play Skynyrd all the time; who doesn’t like paying $15 for a donut (although its a really good one) while perusing a cleverly curated cafe and beautifully designed space.

Back down on Planet Earth, the hamlet of Montauk is waiting with bated breath for beloved local pharmacist Frank Calvo to open Montauk Chemists. With the closure of White’s, Montauk has been without a pharmacy. He had originally hoped to open earlier, but as he put it, opening a pharmacy is not like opening a T-shirt shop. Literally everything has to be inspected, from the mortar and pestle to the $6,000 scale. There are tiers and tiers of local, state, and federal laws that must be followed. The good news is that the New York State pharma board is supposed to give the shop a final inspection this week, and then Montauk Chemists will be ready to open by this weekend! All of Montauk will rejoice. Congratulations, Frank!

REEL FANCY: SWEDISH FISH TO SCHOOL SAG HARBOR AND BENEFITS TO HOOK YOUR CALENDARS.

🌈 Pride & Paddleboards – LGBTQ+ Network Summer Kickoff

📍Bridgehampton Surf & Tennis Club | 🗓️ May 24, 2025
Support the first LGBTQ+ community center on the East End and sip seaside with the chicest crowd west of Fire Island. Auction highlights include spa days, designer swag, and maybe Andy Cohen if you bid hard enough.
🎟️ Tickets: $250+
🔥 Best Reason to Go: Gorgeous cause, ocean view, open bar—need we say more?
🧣 Reason to Skip: Hoping for Speedos? Sorry. It’s more “coastal grandmother” than “Coachella glow-up.”
👉 More info here

🎣 Southampton Fresh Air Home – The Greatest Yard Sale on Earth

📍Barkers Island Road, Southampton | 🗓️ June 7, 2025
This mellow-meets-moneyed affair supports summer fun for kids with physical disabilities. Expect designer home goods, trips, beauty treatments, and a surprising amount of social clout for a yard sale.
🎟️ Tickets: $250+
🔥 Best Reason to Go: That $4,000 coffee table you almost bought in SoHo? It’s here for $1,200.
🧢 Reason to Skip: If you think “casual attire” includes denim—don’t. Think Nantucket red, not Levi’s.
👉 Details here

❤️ Heart of the Hamptons Heart Ball – American Heart Association

📍Bridgehampton Surf and Tennis Club, Bridgehampton | 🗓️ June 27, 2025
Where glam meets goodwill. This legendary gala helps fund life-saving research and gives you a reason to buy that outfit you can’t expense.
🎟️ Tickets: $500+
🔥 Best Reason to Go: You’ll glow, even if it’s just from the anti-aging serum in your gift bag.
🍤 Reason to Skip: Unless you’re auctioning off a Peloton, don’t expect to burn off the passed hors d’oeuvres.
👉 Get tickets here

🍽️ God’s Love We Deliver Midsummer Night Drinks Benefit

📍Private Estate, Water Mill | 🗓️ July 12, 2025
This one’s for the do-gooders who also love a good garden party. Supporting the NYC-based charity that delivers meals to people too sick to shop or cook, this event is equal parts glam and grounded.
🎟️ Tickets: $300+
🔥 Best Reason to Go: Gorgeous estate of Neil Patrick Harris, heartfelt cause, and cocktails that actually justify the Uber surcharge.
🥱 Reason to Skip: If you’re looking for high drama, this one’s a little more hydrangeas and hugs than Bravo brawls. (Although I’ve seen a few bitch fights over the same xoxoxoxo outfit.)
👉 Learn more here

🐶 Unconditional Love Gala – Southampton Animal Shelter Foundation

📍Southampton Arts Center | 🗓️ July 19, 2025
This one’s personal—because it’s where I found Ralph, my screeching, stubborn, sandwich-stealing beagle who also happens to be the coolest dog in the Hamptons (Bella is sweet but she is not cool). The gala supports the lifesaving work of the no-kill shelter that matched us up, and it’s a favorite for animal lovers, local celebs, and anyone who knows a good rescue story when they see one.
🎟️ Tickets: $350+
🔥 Best Reason to Go: You might just meet your own Ralph—hopefully minus the operatic bark.
👠 Reason to Skip: Only if you hate love, puppies, and open bars.
👉 Fetch details here

🌟 30th ANNIVERSARY Gala – The Ellen Hermanson Foundation

📍Bridgehampton Surf and Tennis Club | 🗓️ July 26, 2025
Dancing, drinks, and dedication to breast cancer support. This gala brings the glam and the good vibes with a high-energy crowd and an even higher heel count.
🎟️ Tickets: $400+
🔥 Best Reason to Go: The dance floor is lit. Seriously, bring your flats.
🎻 Reason to Skip: Hoping for a sedate soirée? This is more Beyoncé than Brahms.
👉 Full event info here

🐾 Bow Wow Meow Ball – ARF Hamptons

📍William P. Rayner Training Center, East Hampton | 🗓️ August 16, 2025
This year’s Bow Wow Meow Ball celebrates 51 years of ARF’s tail-wagging heroism. Expect a star-studded evening with heartfelt tributes, gourmet eats, and the Parade of Animals that guarantees more “awws” than a baby goat video.
🎟️ Tickets: $500+
🔥 Best Reason to Go: Glam, decor, cupcakes, cocktails, and adoptable animals. What more do you want—puppy kisses? (Actually, those too.)
🐕 Reason to Skip: If you don’t like dogs, cats, or compassion… maybe try Wall Street that night and seek help.
👉 Snag your ticket here

Mark those calendars, fluff your tulle, and let the benefit bingo begin. And remember—just because it’s for charity doesn’t mean you can’t be just a little competitive in the silent auction.

IN CRUST WE TRUST… ASIAN WITH A FRENCH TWIST… PLUS THE BROVENTURE THAT BIT THE DUST.

Looks like East Hampton is leaning in hard to its new identity as “Little Little Italy.” The once-rotating door of restaurants at the old Laundry/Lodge/Leif Hope’s/Race Lane/Botero space is getting yet another tenant—this time, it’s Rubirosa (or as we’re calling it, Rubirosa for the season), the legendary red-sauce-slinging shrine from NYC’s Little Italy. Yes, the Staten Island pizza dynasty behind Joe & Pat’s is bringing their vodka pie dreams out east in a summer pop-up that’s sure to leave carb-loving locals sauced. With East Hampton already feeling like an Italian food group chat—Città Nuova, Serafina, Crazy Pizza, Sant Ambroeus (close enough), Sam’s, and La Campanina—we’re officially at risk of a marinara monopoly. But we’ll allow it, especially if the chicken parm is as gooey as the gossip at Nick & Toni’s. Get ready for vodka pies that could convert a keto warrior, and enough mozzarella to clog Montauk Highway. One thing’s for sure: this town isn’t running out of thyme—it’s running out of thyme to digest all this Italian food. Sorry.

Those of us who were annoyed beyond belief last year by the pretentious “NAOA Life Club” on Buckskill Road in East Hampton can breathe easier. If you recall, a couple of bros from the city rebranded the old Hampton Racquet Club as a wellness club with a reputedly $30,000 membership fee. $30K for wellness? As Fred Sanford would say, “I’m coming, Elizabeth!” Applications also had to include links to social media and a photograph. Of course, NO NERDY, OLD OR UNATTRACTIVE FOLKS. Anyway, thank goodness, that venture failed and Hampton Racquet is back with a fairly sensible $3K individual membership and some fancy new upgrades thanks in part to NOAA or NAOA OR NOAH. Whatever! Anywho, also back is the amazing Thai food of the former V Cafe with a new French/Asian fusion twist. Now called Suongs Cafe, it will likely be one of my go-to spots this summer… so sing a SUONG.


And remember all that brew-ha-ha last year about the Hedges Inn (everyone’s favorite drive through hotel). possibly turning into yet another exclusive members’ nightlife club? That also failed. (Toteboard so far: Hamptons 2, City Bros 0.). Andrew and Sarah Wetenhall, who transformed the Colony Hotel in Palm Beach, are taking on the Hedges Inn, founded in 1873 by Isabella Hedges (who by the way was also one of the founders of LVIS). Guests of the 13-room inn can choose from some pretty luxe amenities, including Ahab, the inn’s “texting concierge service”. Supposedly,  “whether guests are after a last-minute dinner reservation, additional pillows, the best beach for golden hour, or just a clever one-liner, Ahab is always just a text away.” Excuse me a second, folks! I need to text for a clever comeback.


Also available is a “personalized beach setup service,” “curated beachside refreshments,” and a “bespoke bike program.” Thank god the bikes have spokes! Anyone else tempted to check in and see if they have palanquin service to Main Beach? Just me? The new restaurant is called Swifty’s, because nothing says “Hamptons” like a restaurant named for a famous Hollywood agent who lived permanently in L.A. Noteworthy dishes include Swifty’s crushed avocado with espelette (nope, me neither), agave house chips, pico de gallo, and Yami’s salsa. The menu also features jumbo Maryland crab cakes, chicken curry salad, chilled lobster salad with green goddess dressing, and chicken paillard with lemon, arugula, and shaved parmesan. On top of all this they’ll be hosting their (local Paul Johnson who is famous) apparently “famous” trivia night every Sunday from 5-6:30.

Brady’s Card Vault Scores a Touchdown… Just in Time for Another Prix Fixe Blitz

CELEB NEWS, Tom Brady is heading to East Hampton—but not to toss a football or rekindle anything with Gisele. The NFL legend is opening another Card Vault, this time taking over the former Tod’s/Tory Burch spot in the heart of the village. With locations already in Massachusetts and Connecticut and East Rutherford NJ, this high-end trading card shop is apparently where touchdowns meet Topps. I recently brought it up while watching Patti LuPone’s one-woman show at Symphony Space (as one does), and the reactions were… mixed. A few friends asked if he was selling credit cards, one wondered aloud if Gisele would be doing the decorating, and the rest had never heard of him. I didn’t have the heart to explain. But cheers to my friend Eileen O’Neill of Corcoran for brokering the deal—and for those who actually do follow Brady, rumor has it he’ll be in town Memorial Day weekend for the grand opening. Get your selfie sticks and rookie cards ready.

Didn’t we just do this? Yes, Long Island Restaurant Week is back again—because apparently, our waistlines didn’t suffer enough in January. Running from April 27th to May 4th, the spring edition offers prix fixe menus that’ll tempt you into carbs and cocktails all over again. Some Hamptons heavy-hitters joining the gluttony this round include Barons Cove, Nick & Toni’s, Page, Rumba, The Palm, Il Buco, Flora and Fauna (yes, both), LDV at Maidstone Inn, Ocean Club Montauk, Cowfish, Cove Hollow Tavern, Kalissa, and Bridgehampton Inn. Whether you’re pretending to be “just here for the salad” or diving fork-first into dessert, there’s something for everyone—except maybe your skinny jeans. Full list and menus at www.longislandrestaurantweek.com. Bon appétit, again.

Finally, all aboard the retail express—next stop: confusion! A few months back, a not-so-subtle (yet somehow still invisible) “available retail space” sign popped up at the East Hampton LIRR station, offering a 613-square-foot “opportunity” that includes 125 square feet of exclusive retail space and 488 square feet shared with the M.T.A.—yes, including a bathroom. According to the M.T.A., anything from a newsstand to a full-service restaurant is possible… just hold the tobacco, adult content, and apparently, joy. Tenants are also required to keep the waiting room and restroom open daily from 5 a.m. to 8 p.m. all summer—because who doesn’t dream of being a bathroom attendant in paradise? Bids were supposedly due in February, but the sign’s still up and it’s still on LoopNet. As for CBRE? I searched harder than an LIRR conductor checking tickets and found nada. Similar spaces are also available in Southampton and Amagansett if you’re looking to train for retail glory.

Yeah, I know the shirtless pic of Brady is gratuitous. But I know my audience.