What’s New in the Hamptons Hood ’14… or What Happened While You Spent The Winter with People!

It has nothing to do with Nixon or Kung Fu pandadiplomacy.com

While the folks over at Curbed Hamptons talk about all the new restaurants this year, I decided to go a different direction and talk about all the other stuff!     Which calls to mind, I once had a very successful client in my car some time back talking about all things Hamptons.  As we drove by the East Hampton movie theatre he asked me, “Kung Fu Panda’, what’s that about?”   Really?  He wasn’t kidding. Isn’t it obvious that its a morality tale about a poor tailor and his struggle with alcoholism set in pre war Europe! UH… Kidding!  It’s a frigging cartoon about a Panda that knows Kung Fu!   So, that being said, I wonder what they’re going to think when they drive by Panda Diplomacy in Water Mill!   website.  It’ looks pretty cool and I have no doubt it’s what everyone will be wearing at The American Hotel this summer!  Ok, well maybe not there.  The wax museum has it’s own separate dress code.  Well, for those of you that don’t know it’s a surfing apparel, boards and accessories store.   Located at 760 Montauk Highway in Water Mill, better known as the shopping center where there used to be Blockbuster-Citarella-Water Mill Cupcake-Avanti-Subway-Foodies and the soon to be opened West Elm Shopping Center.    If you want more info on surfing pandas, check out the

Citarella has hit Southampton!   While it’s not a “full fledged” supermarket according to sources.   It is no doubt a welcome addition to a town that has the second worst supermarket in the Hamptons Walbaum’s which only comes after Walbaum’s in East Hampton.  The store got approved earlier this
month by the Southampton Village Planning board and quickly settled into their Hampton Street location.   While some locals have voiced their concern over the potential parking problems let me accentuate the positive, THEY HAVE FRESH FOOD!

Another newcomer is located on Main St. in Bridgehampton and it’s called BLOW.  No, it’s not that kind of place!  Get your minds out of the gutter people… this isn’t Nevada!  It’s a hair salon that’s specializing in blow outs for ladies and the occasional puffy haired gentleman about to kick up their heels at the given Hamptons benefit!    If you want more information on getting glamours you can check out their website here!    If you want the other kind you need to get on a plane and head to Vegas or perhaps Amsterdam (ohhhh Amsterdam… more on that later… apparently the Dutch love the Hamptons).

If you’re like me one of the greatest things about living out east is not the surf, the beaches, world class boating, golf or even the lack of good cell phone reception.   It’s the fact we have some of the best damn food anywhere.  One of those that has a reputation of being the best of the best is Tate’s Bakery and now they’re selling their White Chocolate Macadamia cookies among other masterpieces out of the Red Horse Market in East Hampton.  But if you’re worried about your waistline  don’t fret, the cookies are sugar, fat, calorie and dairy free…. NOT… if you have to read the calorie label, move on!   I have not doubt there is like 12 pounds of butter in each cookie but damn, they’re awesome!   They make great chipwiches too… just in case you need more calories!

www.barrysbootcamp.com

But if you’re worried about calories and such silliness, fear not Barry’s Bootcamp is opening a new outlet in Amagansett this summer.    Yes, the home of sadistic (IMHO) workouts that burn tons of calories!  According to Racked.com  the location will feature healthy to go meals from Hu Kitchen.      Great news but I’ll pass on the meals, there’s a coconut cupcake (from Mary’s) with my name on it!  The gym is located at 199 Montauk Highway, right behind Mary’s Marvelous!   Did I mention Mary’s coconut cupcake?  It’s another Hamptons masterpiece and makes a great reward for just doing one of their  before I do one of their infamous 1000 calorie burning classes. UGH!

Finally one more thing new in the Hamptons this summer!  A deadly new tick born disease!  Goody!  I’m not going to bore or kill the mood by writing about it.  If you’re curious let the kill joys at CBS News do it for you here.    In the meantime, i’m going to get some new panda surf clothes and eat my cookies and cupcakes in peace!

A Year After Sandy Generator Sales Still Soar…. and Fall Images of the Hamptons!!!

Ok, this year was a lot prettier than last year.  Hurricane Sandy ripped through the East End a little more than a year ago,  leaving much of the region without power for as long as 3 weeks.  Yes, I was one of them.    Since then homeowners have been exploring their options to prevent their milk from souring and the Internet from going down.    One of the most popular solutions has been purchasing a home generator.    From the simple gasoline lawn mower engine variety to the more complex, heres a quick intro some of the basic facts from the folks at East Hampton Energy Solutions!

Sure, the pools are closed and the beach is a little bit nippy.  But if you’ve ever had a doubt that the Hamptons are spectacular in the fall then look no further.   Here are some of my favorite sites in and around the East End.

Scarecrows line Main St. Amagansett, thanks to the kids from the local elementary school!
North Haven foliage or as a news anchor I once worked with called it… Foil-age!
Mill Hill Lane, East Hampton Village.

 

EH Village Fringe, near Buckskill Rd.

 

The center of Sag Harbor Village!

 

The prettiest tree in the Hamptons, seriously!  Look at the Shape!  Brick Kiln and Scuttle Hole Rds.

 

 

A Brouhaha at the Beaches in Amagansett and a Cure for Round Swamp Farm’s Cinnamon Buns… well sort of!

VERBOTTEN!

Those oft over-the top folks in “Amagainsit” are at it again.  Fearing that the guest of a guest, share house, booze-swilling Saturday afternoon fedora crowd would drift east from Indian Wells due to parking lot restrictions and an increased police presence, the Beach Hampton homeowners association sent out an early summer warning to members.

That beach access would be restricted to members in good standing with the Dunes home owner’s association (i.e. residents and their tenants ).
OK. We’re good so far.  While we won’t consult our Hamptons Chatter legal department just yet about their legal right to restrict access they have begun stationing “monitors” at various beach access points.  (although when we googled “lawsuit beach public access” it appears the folks in Amagansett are walking a very shaky and fine line).

This summer, clipboard carrying Studio 54 type bouncers have been checking to make sure not only if beach goers are from the right part of town, they’re also making sure everyone is ponied up with his or her Homeowners Association Dues.    But what if you landlord has paid the dues… you want to go to beach but the bouncer says “no you didn’t.”   Well that’s exactly what has been happening.  Apparently this is becoming more and more of a problem with rental tenants lugging their wares to the beach only to be turned back!!! I don’t know the whole deal here but I’m just predicting this is going to blow up before the end of the summer.

Meanwhile here in the Hamptons we’ve got more than our fair share of famous culinary and home making genius’.      There’s of course Martha Stewart…. there’s Ina Garten (who I like even though she and Jeffrey have yet to invite me  over) … and now there’s ANKE.   In keeping with the  summer of healthy eating I want to tell you Anke’s Fit Bakery and her stuff is awesome.   I’ve also been discussing this around town, and I’m hearing similar stories from other agents whose summer tenants are being subjected to random shakedowns in The Dunes.    Perhaps this is just all a bunch of misunderstandings but bouncers on the beach?!!!   Stay tuned.

 

 

Shunning refined flour for her baked goods, Anke uses spelt flour, whole oats and other organic ingredients because, “Ingestion of refined flours elevates the potential for heart disease, stroke, cancer and obesity.  The health risks can be reduced by using whole grain flours instead of refined flours.”  My personal favorite is Anke’s Chocolate Loaf cake make with coco and a bunch of good stuff.   But you would never know it, I would swear it’s Entenmann’s!    Marie Claire, Tracy Anderson, the East Hampton Star and a bunch of other publications will attest to the fact I speak the truth.   So check out the website or go visit Anke at the Sag Harbor Farmer’s Market on Saturday morning.  You and your gut wont’ regret it!!!  Now, back to the treadmill!

Noise pollution will hit a new high in the Hamptons! Mistuh Sheffieeeeeld!!! Plus, playboy bunnies at the Beachhouse?!!

This Sunday, comedienne and actress Fran Dresher will be screeching in East Hampton for a good cause. The Father’s Day Family Fun event will benefit Fran’s cancer prevention organization, Cancer Schmancer, while also celebrating her new TV show and Cancer Schmancer’s WE THE FUTURE youth program. Featuring live music, food, viewing of the US Open, video games, a castle bounce and many more fun activities for both parents and children, this event offers the perfect outlet for Father’s Day fun. Tickets can be purchased on their website! The event will be honoring local businessman and Enclave Inn owner Michael Wudyka as “Father of the Year.”

Also this weekend the Beachhouse (how do I spell this anyway) will be launching their Saturday Tea Dance. You know I’ve been talking a lot about the Beachhouse because it’s close to my house and it’s a great space. I know the gang over there have been negotiating with DJ Lady Bunny to host the event. Yes, the same DJ Bunny who hosted my friends Bill and Sue’s wedding where his Palm Beach Mother remarked “that woman is wearing too much make up.” I JUST FOUND OUT SHE WON’T BE THERE THIS WEEKEND… BUT WHO KNOWS ABOUT NEXT.  Featuring drink specials and I think a custom bar menu it should be a blast. So what’s the space like? I went over there the other day and spoke to manager Rory Boothby and videotaped a quick tour. I’m still learning how to do this editing thing but take a look and tell me what you think!?

BY THE WAY TEA DANCE STARTS AT 4PM No, not about my editing about the space. You’re a critical bunch.

Quote of the week. A friend of mine had a customer who asked about a property on Mulford Lane in Amagansett. When his customers asked about the neighborhood he quickly responded “go to google earth and zoom in real close. You see the roof in the middle of the water, someone bought that as a waterfront a few years ago.” They have an appointment to see the house on Saturday. Now that’s a waterfront!!!