beach permits

The Hottest Hamptons Housewarming Gift…. plus a quick Summer 2014 Rental Guide… AND LINKS TO GET YOUR BEACH PASSES !

The best house warming in the Hamptons!

One thing new comers will discover when they come here is the cell phone service out here is the pits.    I’ve had both AT&T and Verizon and I don’t care what their ads say, both their coverage out here stinks!    From Noyac Rd. to Scuttle Hole Rd to Sagaponack South to the Northwest Woods, getting even one bar from any service is wishful thinking!   Hello, can you hear me now????  NO!    Although this particular condition is particularly handy when listening to boring conversations from friends discussing their latest posting on face book.  “I’m sorry, the signal out here is terrible.”

This is the reason that one of the hottest house warming gifts on the east end, from this agent at least (and a few other smart agents)  is a “micro cell tower.” I live in East Hampton outside the village and I was long been frustrated by getting 10 voice messages every time I left my house.   But no more! I fixed that by getting the AT&T 3G MircoCell.   Now in my house I get about 5 bars, where before I got zippo!   The cost was about $150 from AT&T or you can do a quick search on E-bay where you can get them for as little as $99.    I’ve given several away to friends and customers and it was a hit and for a few a life saver (well not literally maybe more of a social life saver).   I’ve heard stories about the providers sending the towers for free if you bitch badly enough, but I hate groveling and I’d rather just pay the money and move on!   If you need more details, call your provider and ask them, “can you hear me now?”

This coming weekend for many real estate agents on the east end marks the beginning of the traditional summer rental season.   While summer rentals can start as early as the prior year, most Hampton visitors tend to look east beginning President’s Day Weekend.    Well before you trek out here, let me remind everyone that renting out east is a bit different from renting an extended hotel room.      For 3 months a year at least, you pretty much own a house.    Also, unless you’re ready to shell out a big hunk of change, odds are you’ll be driving your car to the beach rather than walking.     So before you pile everyone into that Plymouth Duster you better make sure you have a parking permit sticker!     Last year, I posted a quick video on the “Ask Elliman” site, to give a good overall introduction to spending their summer at the beach.   I’m posting it again to remind everyone… that along with the links for east town’s permit website.   So you can get the ball rolling for Summer ’14 in the comfort of your own home.

BEACH PERMIT LINKS!

East Hampton Village Beach Permits
East Hampton Town Beaches
Southampton Town Beaches
Southampton Village Beach Permits

 

Are Rich People trying to Impersonate Me?! I Smell a Scam in East Hampton!

What can I say, it’s been busy in the Hamptons lately and this weekend will be no exception, even in the middle of WINTER!   Yes, WINTER… the Winter Warlock is working overtime this weekend; there’s snow, the winter Olympics .. very little day light….
Winter Winter Everywhere!

and Sag Harbor hosts it’s Third Annual Harborfrost.    It’s relatively new tradition with fireworks, parties, art exhibits and the locals coming out of hiding to celebrate all things cold and frosty.  But if you really want to know what Harborfrost is really like, let me quote what a friend of mine calls it, “Spring training for St. Patrick’s day in Montauk.”   Anyway, here is the schedule and web site for HarborFrost 2014!   Go have fun people and be safe!  Also, take heart, EH Village beach passes are now on sale!  Winter will soon be a thing of the past like “Beliebers.”

Meanwhile, It’s been a weird couple of days.   First, there was the angry man calling from “Microsoft” who wanted me to give him access to my computer, apparently there getting error message from my “windows computer.”  As he demands,  “Push the Microsoft Flag key and control,” I inquire who exactly he wants to speak to… I mean he has my computer registered in his files, right?    Once again he demands I listen to him but he still doesn’t know my name!  If you’re really interested, google it apparently it’s a common scam.  I actually find these scammers kind of fun to tease, I’m lonely!

Then I got an e mail from someone saying, “I hope you don’t mind me e mailing you at this address?   I googled real estate, hamptons and Patrick and I found your business contacts.    Apparently the e mail we’ve been communicating on has been redacted!”  REDACTED?   I had to look that word up to find out it basically means deleted.
After I emailed saying, “refresh my memory, what were we talking about?”   The nice gentleman figured out he had been had.     Apparently some clown from god knows where took my photo and my name and proceeded to list a summer rental on Air BNB for a home on Lily Pond Lane, East Hampton!!!   Now call me wacky but do you really think anyone who has an oceanfront on Lily Pond lane is going to list on Air Bnb?    Is Jon Bon Jovi or Martha Stewart perhaps impersonating me on the
The Air BNB ad , I didn’t place!!!

Interwebs?  What, can’t they just send unwanted pizzas or ring the doorball and run away to the neighbors they don’t like?!   I mean this is crazy!!!  Anyway, the nice people at Airbnb.com caught this before me and the ad was taken down.   But how weird is this   (See it below).    So buyer… or renter beware when you’re surfing online!     This is almost as weird as when Amex asked me if I bought 10 cases of horse feed in Kentucky!   Besides if you’re going to steal anyones identity… I mean really… you couldn’t pick someone more glamorous than me!?
Also, don’t mind if I rub this in… DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME FOLKS USE A BROKER OR AGENT!

Southampton permits are now on Sale… and a peek at some of those MILLION DOLLAR HAMPTONS RENTALS!

Get cha’ permits!

REMINDER OF THE DAY!  Southampton Village beach permits are now on sale!!  The cost is free for residents, $350 for non residents and $250 for “local non-residents.”   What you need;  a valid registration for your car and for locals a copy of your tax bill or lease with 2 utility bills.   This will allow you access to park at Coopers Beach, Cryder Lane, Dune Beach (village residents only), Fowler, Gin Lane, Halsey Neck, Roads G and D, Old Town, Wyandanch and Little Plaines Lane.   If you want complete information I suggest you go to the town website.    I’m also including a bonus link to the TOWN of Southampton permit information page!   Oh summer is in the air!

Art is apparently a very good business.   In the latest recorded transfers,

Artist and real estate investor Fischl

artist Eric Fischl has apparently purchased not one, not two, not three but five properties in North Haven.   The properties located in over the river and through the woods total a little over 3 million dollars.   While I have no idea what Fischl and his wife fellow artist April Gornick will be doing with the property located off Ferry Road, I’m dying to know.  If you have any clue fill me in!  Two two have been residents of Sag Harbor for years and both have matching studios here in the Hamptons.

Well It’s May 1st and that means Memorial Day is right around the corner.   In many parts of the country the calendar is marked by the return of various migratory animals.  Here in the Hamptons it’s marked by the migration of the summer renters! In case you didn’t know, the standard rental period for the Hamptons is Memorial Day to Labor Day.  It’s also the time when all of the “masters of the universe” and “glitterati” of tv and film come to rest their weary heads.     Well if you’ve ever wondered how celebrities like Mariah Carey, Beyonce and others live when they’re hanging with Martha, Howard and Puffy… wonder no longer.   I’ve dug deep and come up with some of my favorite MILLION DOLLAR* HAMPTON RENTALS!*or rentals that can at least be priced in terms of millions, i.e. 1/4 of a million, 1/2 million, 8/10ths of a million!

 

It’s that time of year, Beach Permits are selling like hot cakes… again!!! Plus, bracing for the rude Hamptons!

Yep, the snow just melted but already we’re fast approaching the end of the line for the most prized posession of Summer 2013!  I’m of course talking about East Hampton Village Beach permits.   While the price has risen to $375.00 for this coming season, that hasn’t stopped the rush.    While town permits for East Hampton Town and Southampton Village and Town beach permits are unlitmited and they don’t run out, EHV sells about 3000.    As of today, there are only about 300 or so permits left.   So, if you’re curious how to get a permit and where you can use them, click here.   That means there are only about 10% left, sadly I had to use a calculator to figure that out.    So unless you want to bike to beach after that Fly Wheel spin class you better hurry!!!

So, while Summer is right around the corner that got me to thinking is it really that bad out here during the season?  I mean are the lines at the Golden Pear any longer … are the waiters and waitresses less patient… is the parking lot at King Kullen any less aggressive?   Well in my 3rd and final chat with author Steven Gaines and film reviewer and stand up comic Bill McCuddy we addressed the very nature of Hamptons culture… RIGHT OR RUDE!?  Which also happens to be the name of Bill’s new web page and facebook fan page.   Check it out and let me know what you think.