Hamptons

An Über Bad Problem… Calling Der Kommissar!

One of my favorite apps in the world UBER is adding fuel to an already raging fire and has more than a few Hamptonite’s lederhosen in bunches!   They’ve offering rides between NYC and the east end through a helicopter site called Blade.    These “UBER CHOPPER” rides are a flat rate of $2500 for a five seat chopper ride.  This is just another reason the battle for quiet skies is getting louder on the East End.  New helicopter routes and flying patterns are making life a thunderous hell for thousands of residents at all hours of the day and night in the Hamptons.   In fact, according to sources complaints about air traffic noise have tripled in just one year alone!

 

That’s why you’re likely seeing some new bumper stickers around town declaring “HELICOPTERS SUCK – JUST SAY NO TO HTO.”     A quick tutorial now, HTO is the FAA code for East Hampton Airport.     Anyway, In my assessment and I’m no expert, it’s more than just a quality of life issue that has residents and officials concerned.   It’s also simple economics effecting the housing markets and tax base.   I know I hear the argument, the helicopters help create jobs.   But a few pilots from Teterboro or Rockaway are not exactly a boom to local business.   The bottom line is hundreds of residents are filing for tax reductions due to the constant thunder resulting in an alleged decrease of property values.    So wait, let me see if I get this right … a few pilot jobs in New Jersey versus a decreasing tax base here in the Hamptons?    Anyway, one way to help stop this register a complaint.   Go to the towns web site next time your house is being buzzed and you feel like you’re living through you’re own personal “Airport ’75.”   File a complaint here at the noise complaint website and have your voice heard (hopefully over the engine and blade noise).     

Activist against the airport noise are not trying to ban the traffic all together but rather limiting the hours of the facility.    Learn more from the Quiet Skies Coalition!    I mean really, LAX closes at 11 pm but East Hampton Airport stays open all night?!    A 24 Hour airport really?!   We don’t even have a shoe repair, doggie daycare, good Mexican restaurant but we’re the town that never sleeps according to the airport!   Besides everyone who saw Jaws 2 knows helicopters and beaches don’t mix!

 

Friday Funny on Saturday…. Commedian Steve Rannazzisi brings “Manchild” to Bay Street Theatre.

We here at “The Chatter” like a good laugh every now and then, especially during the busy summer months.   So when we aren’t busy reading the Yelp reviews for Harlow in Sag Harbor, we are on the  look out for anything to help us forget the 5 hours we spent grid locked on Route 27.     Well, let me tell you, I have cure for those summer time blues and it comes in the form of comedian Steve Rannazzisi who will be presenting “Manchild” this Monday night June 30th at Bay Street Theatre in Sag Harbor at 8pm.    If the face looks familiar it could be you recognize him from films like “For Your Consideration,” Comedy Central specials or his starring role on the FX series “THE LEAGUE.”

A native of Smithtown, Long Island Rannazzisi is no stranger to the Hamptons and is aware of our current Kardashian Krisis. “They’re ruining the planet earth!   Has anyone called Billy Joel, maybe he can do a commercial to help?”   Taking inspiration for his stand up from everyday observations, he describes his comedy as more “R rated and a little less PG.”   Having been discovered on stage by Ashton Kutcher, his salty humor was put to years in his participation on the MTV show “Punk’d.”    A sort of edgy “Candid Camera,” where celebrities are often the targets.  One of his favorites involved him being the tow truck driver who takes actor Tracy Morgan’s car from valet to flatbed.  “It was hysterical, I told him I had to take it to Barstow which is a couple hours away.  When we revealed the gag, Tracy went crazy laughing he was such a good sport about it.”

While he preps for the sixth season of “The League,” Rannazzisi is taking some time to return to the comedy stage.  “It’s the greatest experience to perform in front of people.   While I love doing the TV show, working with some great people… nothing is more fun than when a live audience is right in front of you.”    As you can see from the clip below he’s definitely comfortable on the stage and after you watch, I’m sure you’ll want to buy tickets here (click here) for his performance this Monday night!   See you there!

17,500 Reasons why the Kardashians Kame to the Hamptons…. plus it’s Totally 80’s Time at the Talkhouse!

The Klassiest Kids in Town!?

In case you’ve been living under a rock the Hamptons are buzzing with the comings and goings … or should I say Komings… ugh… no … comings and goings of the Kardashians.   If you don’t believe me go to Google and search “Kardashian Hamptons” and you’ll get about 17,500 news articles come up.   Meanwhile search “Hamptons Deer Cull” and you get 2 articles.   I’m so glad we have our priorities straight! Anyway, while you read about “13 Hot Spots Too Classy for the Kardashians” or even “9 Things to Know about their Summer in the Hamptons,”   I’m going to add one more tid-bit to the mix.   I’m hearing via the grapevine that producers for the show….. are not only asking to see if they can shoot in local restaurants and get all the patrons to sign releases but that they’re also allegedly asking to get it for free!      Their claim is that their show has done a lot to help businesses increase traffic and everyone should be thrilled to have KK-K shoot in their restaurant.    SO, how is it going?   My sources say not so good.   The “K’s” are going after spots that are already hot and don’t need “Z” list celebrities to promote their business.   Think about it, do you really think the Hamptons A list need an endorsement from the Kardashians?    I’m sure Jerry Seinfeld and Gwyneth are both waiting with baited breath to see where they’ve decided to dine!   By the way, let’s also be real here.. .they’re living in NOYAC…. not Southampton… I’m dying to know if they’ve made it yet to Cromer’s for some fried chicken or mac and cheese!?

In honor of throwback Thursday, I’m doing a little plug for Stephen Talkhouse this weekend.  One of the best and underrated bands from the 1980’s is playing tomorrow night.   Yes, the English Beat featuring Dave Wakeling is coming to town.   I’ve seen the band here a few times over the past few years and in a way, it’s kind of a perennial.    Playing all their hits including “I Confess, Mirror in the Bathroom, Save it for Later” and even a few General Public songs (Wakeling was basically the heart of both bands), the show is amazing.  I think I’m too old to go to an arena and see anyone.     But the intimate setting of The Talkhouse makes for a really memorable night.    You can buy tickets here ahead of time and in case you don’t know the band, here’s one of my favorite songs by them… trust me you should go!

Avoid the Soulpsychos …. Plus, the Latest Threat to Property Values!

While we still lament the departure of Tiffany a few weeks ago. We (royal) are taking solace in the fact that there is actually something cool that took its place.   I mean, it could have been a Kardashian pop-up or worse yet another real estate office!  But alas, that’s not what we got! Instead we have something to make the Hamptons a little more civilized on Saturday and Sunday mornings during the season, Peloton!   OK, what exactly is Peloton?   It’s the cure for the overly aggressive Lululemon wearing…. Range Rover driving… Vitamin water drinking…. Soul Psychos!   Rather than jockeying online to reserve a spot at an overly crowded spin class, you can instead buy one of Peloton’s bikes for about $2000, pay a small monthly membership and join in via-video for one of a dozen or so classes a day live from New York City!    The bikes come with a video screen where you monitor the class and have your stats sent back to the studio, so don’t try reading the paper while you pedal.    They’ll know if your sweating or riding like your grandmother!   I took a look at one of the bikes at the store on Main Street East Hampton and this stuff is cool! But don’t worry, if you’re Internet is slow… thank you Optimum…. you can download and store classes on the monitor’s hard drive!     If you’re curious, take a look at this video.    I know I want one of these!  Here’s the link!
 
Could this be bad for owners of historical homes!

Meanwhile, if your’e fit, you’ll be living longer and if you’re living longer you can protect your property values!  SAYYYYYYY WHAT???!   I kid you not!    As if the real estate market weren’t confusing enough, between potentially rising interest rates and an unpredictable market now you have to worry if someone has died in your home!   OMG!  I can hear it now  “Mrs. Freeling, while my clients love Cuesta Verde, this house is not clear… and my buyers want to offer you 25% off of your asking price!” Now, I don’t know about you but I’m not sure I buy the whole ghost thing.  I’ve only seen one in my life and that was after taking an ambien with a margarita!    If you think I’m joking, check out the website DiedinHouse.com!    I know it’s a very catchy name, right?  Its kind of like listing your home on overpricedgarbageforsalebyowner.com!

Finally, some new restaurant reports coming later in the week!   Plus…. go see Conviction at Bay Street Theater!   Some of the best performances of any show on any stage anywhere!