Hamptons

TRENDS: Mushroom for Improvement…. Personal Chefs Not Just for the Uber Wealthy!

As a child of Lithuanian, Scotch, Irish heritage the idea of a good home cooked meal was as mysterious as the pyramids.   My mother much to her credit worked as a real estate agent in the 70’s (in my view a pioneer back then) and would come home throw a steak on the grill and kill it ten times over!   I would dream, hope and pray that she would get stuck working late and instead opt to buy me a Swanson or Libby Land TV Dinner. (see below if you don’t remember).   Ahhh the simple life…  where the only other option was perhaps dining out (Perkins Pancakes was a favorite) at a local restaurant.     The idea of actually having someone else come to our house to cook was something far out of consideration and reserved for people like the Carringtons or the Ewings!    But the times they are a changing’!

 

A cheaper alternative but less results!

Something I’ve noticed in the past few years among renters, friends and associates is the growing request for personal chefs.    One client who doesn’t want their name mentioned specifically cited the difficulty in not only getting reservations on a summer weekend but the simple fact that getting from home to wherever is more difficult than sitting through Russell Crowe’s performance as Noah!   OK, they didn’t make the Noah reference but they did say it’s a pain in the butt to drive in town.

Also, with more diners having to adhere to diet restrictions due to such things as food allergies or even vegetarian guidelines, hiring a personal chef certainly makes it easier.    One personal chef I spoke with said while he’s “not exactly sure if the average Joe is hiring them just yet,” people who a few years ago wouldn’t normally have thought of hiring a personal chef are jumping the bandwagon.
While prices vary, one chef I spoke to Dominic Ohrlich who was trained at Culinary Institute in Hyde Park said it varies for the occasion but average costs are about $500 to $800 a day.    While not exactly chump change, it would probably cost you the same to go to dinner with friends and get a muffin at Round Swamp Farm.   If you’re curious, you can visit Dominic’s site at www.privatechefforhire.com!

Meanwhile, if you’re bored this weekend (the weather is supposed to be lousy) you might want to consider heading over to Bay Street Theatre where Conviction is having it’s world premiere.    According the to the blurb,  it’s a delicately balance, beautifully nuanced family drama that digs deep
beneath the surface of a happy suburban existence.      The show stars American Horror Story’s Sarah Paulson who I thought stole the movie “Down with Love.”   If you want more information or tickets visit Bay Street’s website here!    I haven’t seen it yet but from what I hear it’s one of the theater’s best productions in years!

 

A Tale of Two Restaurant Openings…. Plus, Everyone Really Is A Critic!

Ok, the dust has settled and we’re back to a calmer and more civilized Hamptons, well up until July 4th weekend anyway.    That being said, I’m exhausted the guest, the traffic and the difficult cocktail conversation.  “Yes, I heard that Saint Barth’s is not what it used to be.”  Oi vey!  But other than the buzz about where everyone else went and where I didn’t there were a few topics that seemed to be on everyone in the Hamptons lips.   The state of the real estate market on the east end and what new restaurants have come to town!    But if you thought today’s blog was going to be about the market, you would be wrong!    I’m going to spill the beans on the two biggest openings of the last week!

Now, while I didn’t go to any restaurants this past weekend I do have sources that braved the openings of two highly anticipated new restaurants in Sag Harbor; Doppio and Harlow.   The menus and pedigree of both are very different and the reaction to both was pretty much the same…. VERY DIFFERENT!

Harlow which arrives in town with very high expectations opened it’s doors recently.   Located at the

A rough start?   But oh what a view!

old B.Smith’s location on Long Warf, it comes from one of the partners of the infamous Nobu and already has one location in the city.     Billed as similar to their city outlet with a more “low key East End atmosphere,” the restaurant will none the less attract a similar crowd with offerings such as their signature oyster bar.   So,  was it a home run?   Well according to  friends of mine who went this past Saturday, it was a more of a strike out.   They described the restaurant as a complete “cluster f***!”  In spite of having reservations they were put off not 1…. but 2 hours before they called it quits and headed off to The Cuddy instead!    They said the staff was also very surly and I’ve also heard mentions about the bathrooms not working and patrons having to go down the block.    So as you can tell, I have no reports on the food just yet!

Now, I get it!  It’s Memorial Day weekend and you got slammed and we’ll give you some time to get your bearings.   But then again, it’s not like you didn’t know it was going to be a crowded holiday weekend!    We’ll check back in a few weeks and see how they do especially since it is one of THE best locations on the east end and the menu looks really impressive.

Doppio is up an running!

Meanwhile, down the street at the home of the former Madison and Main the folks at Doppio apparently got off to a very auspicious start.   Billed as an artisan bistro, the restaurant with the
“dopey” sounding name obviously came to town ready to do business.    I’m hearing  the crew in Sag Harbor is a well oiled machine with good food and good friendly service!    Let’s hope they can keep up the good work!    The last thing in the world I wanted on the east end was another Italian restaurant but Doppio sounds like its worth the trip!

Speaking of customers and their restaurant experiences, if you ever want a good laugh look no further than some of the reviews for Hamptons restaurants on YELP!    Now, I know sometimes people are just plain pains in the butt and that’s why I take the caveat here, I didn’t write these comments, I’m just reporting them.   I mean, god forbid people do online reviews of this blog!   I can hear them now; “How can you not know the difference between they’re and there.”   “You have all the wrong punctuation.”   “Lousy spelling.”   Yeah, well you know what….  lighten up Frances, it’s a blog not the New York Times!    I know I’m not Tom Wolfe but at least I’m no Bret Easton Ellis!   So anyway, here are some of my favorites that had me squirting my Sauvignon Blanc through my nose!    But more importantly it proves my point Hampton diners are sometimes hard to please!

Pierre’s Bridgehampton:  While the over all rating for Pierre’s was 3 out of 5 Stars, there were a few scathing remarks that have not doubt been responsible for a dent in their status.   TB from Manhattan said on 7/22/13 “below average food, fighting cougars…. and beyond obnoxious.”    Is a restaurant full of cougars a bad thing?

Calvin from NYC wrote on 8/30/13 “Too arrogant!  French man…. Do not give them a credit card for reservations and the reservation never on time.”   Well Calvin,  if you can own a credit card you can obviously afford to buy a verb.  Calvin you are a stupid American!

Sant Ambroeus, Southampton:  Overall they got 4 out of 5 stars, so why not 5?   Well, TF from Atlanta wrote on 6/12/13, “I tipped a very small amount because of poor service – about 10% but later on my credit card statement I noticed that they ignored the tip amount I wrote and “updated it to 18%.”  Sorry TF, zeros and 8’s look so similar it’s an honest mistake.  Maybe they were just agreeing with you and put another zero on top of your zero!?  See… it can happen!

Well apparently service with attitude is their biggest issue.   Christy G from Greenwich Ct. wrote on 7/7/13 “if you don’t walk in dripping in gold and Versace they assume you shouldn’t be there.”   While S.P. from Denver, CO. wrote 4/14/12 “why give a wine list if you ‘re never coming back to take the order.”   When in Rome you two!

LT Burger, Sag Harbor:   3 out of 5 Stars.   Josh M. from Manhattan wrote on 1/28/14 that he “wouldn’t go there if my eyebrows were on fire and the place had the only water in Sag Harbor.”    I guess he didn’t like it?

Trust me they get better but I’m trying to be nice here guys!    Some comments involve bad food and cases of Montezuma’s revenge!    All I can say is it’s rough out there!

Old Stove Pub, Sagaponack: 2 out of 5 Stars.   Michael S. from New York wrote on 8/23/13… “If you enjoy sea bass that smells like a soiled diaper served, eventually, by a shiftless and competent waiter than this is your joint!”

In the age of social media EVERYBODY IS A CRITIC!

It’s D-Day #1 in the Hamptons… What it Really Costs to Operate on the East End!

Just in case you didn’t know, today is D-Day in the Hamptons for real estate agents (the second D-day is the first Friday in August).   It’s the day when most of the seasonal rentals move into their houses.    While many tenants get confused and call it “check in,” I’m here to remind them that renting a house is not like checking into a hotel and your real estate agent isn’t a concierge.   But while I’ll no doubt get a few calls this weekend complaining about broken toasters, lousy towels and confusing pool heaters… and yes I will try to answer them…  there is something I won’t have to deal with this season.   It’s the sticker shock from what it costs to operate a Hamptons home!    Why?  Because my mantra to every tenant is you’re essentially owning this house for the next few months and that means you’re going to have to pay for it!

So what does it cost to operate a home during the summer season on the east end?   I’m going bare bones here but let’s take a look:
They charge more to wear this!
lingeriediva.com

 

1) Maid Service – most rental contracts require the tenant to hire a maid and clean the house once a week.   Some landlords insist you use their current housekeepers (aka spies) in order to keep the house in the same order as when the tenant walked in the door.  So let’s figure 8 hours once a week at an average rate for housekeepers of $20 per hour.  Add $160 to the weekly cost and we’re off and running up that tab!
2) Lawn Service – Unless you’re willing to pull that cord on your Briggs and Stratton you’ll have to fork over a few bucks to maintain that lush green Hamptons yard.   While some yards are bigger than others (not a Smith’s song), I’m going to put the weekly lawn maintenance at about $90 a week.   Some landlords will also require you foot the bill for the gardening but for the sake of erring on the side of caution, we’ll omit that pricey little point!
Hey, you like that guy from NCIS?

3) Phone, Internet and cable – I know a large number of my customers, clients and friends choose that “Triple Play” thing from Cablevision.   For the basic package you’re looking about $80.00 a month.  While it’s not the costliest expense for the summer, if you add those extra movie channels or rent an occasional “pay-per-view”  event or flick it adds up!

4) Pool Service – Sure you can throw some chemicals in the skimmer basket and call it a day but $150.00 per week.   Now, I know you’re saying “HOW MUCH?” but remember this is the Hamptons!  You want you’re pool to sparkle… sparkle… sparkle!!! Once again if you’re a renter this is usually required in the lease and you’ll be responsible to pay for the service plus supplies (chemicals).

5) The Electric, The Heat and the Rest – Now while this depends a lot on the weather let’s put this in a logical way.  If it’s hot outside, you’re not going to heat the pool and you’re going to pump the air-conditioning.   If it’s cooler outside, you’re gong to open the windows and crank the heat on the pool.   Either way you’re going to want to spend the money (unless of course you’re my father who would never turn on the air conditioning unless it was 95 degrees) Now I might be a little high here but I don’t think I’m totally out of the park.   I’m going to put this somewhere in the neighborhood of $800 a month and that’s based on a 3500 s/f house.

Benjamins are required!!!

Ok, so let’s tally this puppy up….. click click click click click click…. change the calculator battery… clack clack clack clack!   Our grand total to own or rent a house out east is about and I say ABOUT… no haters here….  about $2500.00 per month or about $620 a week more or less.     So there you have it and I didn’t even include the $100/person pizza dinner at Serafina (which I have a new respect for… went last night and it was really good).    This isn’t the Jersey Shore folks!

Speaking of which, the New York Daily News quoted me today and I want to clarify.  I love the Jersey Shore and I’ve been many times.   I grew up going to places like Margate, Long Port and Long Beach Island.  So when I say people don’t want the Hamptons to become the Jersey Shore, I’m talking more about the show then the actual area!      Now, will someone tell my friends from home to stop giving me grief over this!  REMINDER:  I just wrote about how to get rid of house guests (scroll down)!

Summer Showdown Part 1…. Time to Pencil the Calendar with the Best Benefits!

A worse Saturday night Janis Ian never imagined!

Guys, I hate to break the news to you but in spite of the temperatures, Memorial Day is right around the corner.    So while you’re thinking it’s time to trade in your Spanx for that moo moo you might want to also starting contemplating how your calendar is shaping up.    I mean really, nothing is worse for your social standing than having an open calendar!   So, if you don’t want to spend your early summer nights driving through the Burger King in Southampton, please consider going to these fun events and supporting their great causes!   I also did you the favor of giving you links to buy tickets for each event, just click on the event name!

Edit Windsor hosts the GLBT Network on 5/24.

Kicking it all off on 5/24/14 GLBT Services Network Summer Kickoff –  A newcomer to the Hamtons, “The Network”  offers a community center that serves as a safe place with counseling and various services for members of the community and most importantly of all, at risk youth.    The kickoff event will start at 2pm and is hosted at the Southampton home of Edie Windsor who you may or may not know was the driving force for the fall of the DOMA.   Tickets are reasonably priced at $75 now, $125 at the door.  The best reason to go:  It’s early in the day plus you get your chance to potentially meet the woman who could be considered the Rosa Parks of this generation.   Potential reason to skip it:  Probably not the best benefit for single women looking to meet the man of their dreams. But hey, you never know!   So after you had your first round you can head to…..

 The Miracle House Summer Kickoff – Miracle House is a non-profit extended stay facility that provides housing, counseling and support for those seeking treatment in NYC and need assistance.   The location is the Bridgehampton Surf an Tennis Club.. and this is a huge event.  While it started as an AIDS charity and therefore has a strong guy following,  it benefits everyone from young to old with any illness.  Tickets start at $300 and go up!  The best reason to go: Great atmosphere with a fun crowd and since most of the boys shame their friends that eat those puff pastries and pigs-in-the-blanket, there’s plenty of food!  Potential Reason to skip it:  You get shunned for eating the puff pastry!  But hey, I can live with being shunned.  Now pass that tray!

Fresh Air Home Sale and Auction Benefit Gala!

6/7/14 Southampton Fresh Air Home Sale and Auction Benefit Gala – Southampton FAH provides a camp experience for physically challenged youth with sailing, swimming, hiking, etc.   The benefit is held at their facility on Barkers Island Road in Southampton  It’s one of the more mellow benefits of the season but it’s a who’s who’s mixer for everyone in Southampton.   Tickets once again go for $300 and up.   The best reason to go:  The furniture in the silent auction is amazing stuff… plus it’s some of the best people watching ever!   Yes, people really do wear bright yellow pants with lime green tops! Potential reason to skip it:  The best auction items here go early and these are not TJ Maxx prices but hey it’s for a great cause!

6/21/14 The Ellen Hermanson Foundation Summer Solstice – Hosted at the Southampton home of

Chuck and Ellen Scarborough host Summer Solstice.

Chuck and Ellen Scarborough, the event offers cocktails and some of the best bites around!   Tickets are starting at $300.  The foundation is a grassroots organization that has become a truly amazing success story promoting women’s health issues through awareness and providing counseling and medical services on the East End.  The best reason to go:  When was the last time you were invited to Chuck and Ellen Scarborough’s house?  DUH!   Potential Reason to Skip It:  No you can’t stay overnight! Chuck and Ellen will be asking you to leave their house after the event!

6/28/14  American Heart Association’s Heart of the Hamptons – The Heart of the Hamptons Ball has raised over $2.5 million for the American Heart Association since it began 15 years ago.   The event is held at the Hayground School in Bridgehampton on Mitchell’s Lane.  Tickets start at $175 for after dinner party tickets and $500 for cocktails and dinner.    The best reason to go:  Great star spotting at this event…this year journalist Rita Cosby is emcee and everyone from Rudy Guiliani to Christie Brinkley have been spotted here!  You may even see some Z listers like Star Jones too! Potential Reason to skip it:   Lot’s of great music and dancing on a hot summer night equals lots of sweaty and ruined expensive outfits!   It’s not pretty!