real estate.

I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccck! Again. Today’s topic… an unsuspecting, devastating and very stylish looking danger in the Hamptons!!!

So, June was indeed a busy month for me.  But I’m not going to go into that.  I’ve got a few good blog postings in me and I promise I’ll try to get them out soon!  So where to begin?

Innocent looking… yes!?

Well, the thing that came to mind and got me back to my keyboard was a little tidbit that came from a friend who’s a volunteer fireman in Bridgehampton.    While I see many folks out there in the Hamptons pouring into Spanks and hiking the beach in Christian Louboutin’s all for the sake of appearances.  Where am I going with this?  Well, the town of East Hampton just bought matching Moncler outfits for their entire fire department!  Just kidding.   Let me get back to my point that is really actually quite off point.

Well you know those shiny candle lanterns that adorn so many Hamptons landscapes, well apparently they’re  deadly?  Ok, well maybe not deadly but they created a virtual TOWERING INFERNO the other day in Bridgehampton that would do Irwin Allen proud!   Apparently one home owner left one of these stylish and sleek adornments outside during last weeks heat wave.  The problem was the glass on the lantern acted as a sort of magnifying glass and burned a hole right in the side of the unsuspecting homeowners beautiful cedar shake abode!  YIKES!   Talk about a need for some Restoration Hardware… get it?

Finally, a little chuckle from the crazy tenants file!  You know that red switch for the furnace and hot water heater?  Well in some of the older homes, these switches look like something more out of Doctor Frankensteins lab.  I mean Dr. Frankunsteen’s lab.   Anyway, its a bad place for your wife to hang her purse!  Because when you hang a purse on the switch, it goes down and the furnace goes off and you have no hot water.  It’s that simple.  You’re a CEO and you needed me to figure that one out?!  Just saying!

Hamptons Showdown Part 1… why, where and how much! And MANGIA in E. Hampton!

Well it’s that time of the year where you need to mark your calendars and your Marc Jacobs outfits to what weekend benefit you’re going to hit this coming summer.    If you ever saw that mini-series by Barbara Koppel “The Hamptons,”  you know it’s all about the benefits.  What you wear, who you’re seen with and what publication takes your picture!  Since there are so many benefits this summer, I’m going to break this into two parts this summer and give you the pluses the minuses of this summer’s benefits.

Kicking it all off on 5/26/12 is Miracle House Summer Kickoff – Miracle House is a non-profit extended stay facility that provides housing, counseling and support for those seeking treatment in NYC and need assistance.   The location is the Bridgehampton Surf an Tennis Club.. and this is a huge event.

While it started as an AIDS charity and therefore has a strong gay following,  it benefits everyone from young to old with any illness.  Tickets start at $300 and go up!

The best reason to go: Taylor Dayne will be performing live and it’s a ton of fun for a great cause.  Potential Reason to skip it:  Most of the “boys” will be better dressed than you and in better shape!

6/2/12
Southampton Fresh Air Home Sale and Auction Benefit Gala – Southampton FAH provides a camp experience for physically challenged youth with sailing, swimming, hiking, etc.   The benefit is held at their facility on
Barkers Island Road in Southampton  It’s one of the more mellow benefits of the season but it’s a who’s who’s mixer for everyone in Southampton.   Tickets once again go for $300 and up.

The best reason to go:  The furniture in the silent auction is amazing stuff… they’re are also great trips and everything from teeth whitening to fishing trips available! Potential reason to skip it:  The auction items here don’t go for TJ Maxx prices (it’s the Hamptons folks, people are generous) and the tooth whitening I won two years ago cost me like $20k after the dentist discovered my need for 3 root canals!

6/16/12
The Retreat – Artists Against Abuse – The Retreat is a safe house for victims of family violence in addition to conducting educational outreach programs that advocate non-violence.   It’s one of the more relaxed benefits of the summer and usually a great time!  The benefit will be held at the Ross School facilities on Butter Lane (same as last year). Tickets start at $150 for the pre-party and go up from there!

The best reason to go: The ART !  Hello everyone from Dan Rizzi (this year’s honoree) to April Gornick and Ross Bleckner have been featured at previous auctions.  The selection is amazing. Potential Reason to skip it:  Have you seen any work from Bob Ross of PBS fame? NO! Plus, add insult to injury, no potential fluorescent works to replace my Led Zepplin poster under the black lightt!!!

6/23/12
 American Heart Association’s Heart of the Hamptons – Widely recognized as a premier philanthropic and festive event in the Hamptons. The Heart of the Hamptons Ball has raised over $2.5 million for the American Heart Association since it began 15 years ago.   The event is held at the Hayground School in Bridgehampton on Mitchell’s Lane.  Tickets start at $500 and go up.

The best reason to go:  The Goody Bag is one of the best of the season!   Have you seen any wrinkles on my face lately!?  NO, that’s because I got this amazing moisturizer in last years bag!   Potential Reason to skip it:   Just because you devour every passed hors d’ourves at the cocktail hour doesn’t mean you have an inside track for winning those training sessions in the silent auction.  FAT ALARM!

Finally, according to their Faceboook page, the new and improved Red Horse Market is open for business!!! I’m totally psyched and once again Pasquale’s fresh home made mozzarella will be a staple for my summer dinner parties.   The hours according to the page are 6am to 9pm!  How cool, I don’t have to rush home from work to make a 6pm closing time!!  The phone is 631-324-9500 if you want more details! MANGIA!!!

A fancy term for “garage sale” and Southampton landlords beware!!!

Google went to something called CHROME and my blog looked like garbage for over a month.  It was hard to read and I didn’t have any enthusiasm for posting on something that looked like Coogi sweater.    So much has and is happening on the Hamptons so I’ll try to get on top of it asap.

A new fancy term for getting rid of junk?
First issue I think we need to tackle in the Hamptons is what do we call it when you’re unloading junk in front of your house?! We all see those signs all over the place advertising “estate sale” or “garage sale.”    Well in East Hampton they have something entirely new and unconventional and it’s apparently called a “YERD SALE.”    I guess that’s a fancy Hamptons way of announcing a “yard sale.”

Meanwhile, in Southampton town landlords beware!!  A few years ago they decided to require that landlord get a permit to rent their home.  Local Law No. 40 went into effect in the areas of the Town of Southampton back in 2008.    Well now some homeowners are being challenged in court by their tenants for partial or full rent refunds for various complaints from the pool heater doesn’t get hot enough to the back yard had too much shade.   But guess what, the tenants are winning because the landlord didn’t get a permit.  So if you’re thinking about renting your house this summer in Southampton, make sure to get a permit and don’t say we didn’t warn you!     And if you think I’m kidding about tenants complaining about things like shade guess again, it’s a true one!
The former Turtle Crossing

 

Finally, if you’re depressed about the demise of Turtle Crossing in East Hampton take heart.   There’s a a new BBQ place coming to town.   A big thank you to my friend at East Hampton Patch for the details. I was a big fan of the old Turtle Crossing before they got fancy.   My expectations for this new establishment will be high especially since it’s being opened by the former executive chef and BBQ expert of the “Crossing”  Arthur Wolf and his wife Michelle.

 

Security Concerns for Dummies in Bridgehampton!

We all know that Joe Farrell is making plenty of money these days.  But my question is does he really need a full time security guard to stand in his windows!?   But wait, that’s no ordinary security guard.   The said security guard is always there with his arms crossed and the same lifeless expression on his face.   Hmmmm, could it be in fact that this guard is indeed lifeless?   I walked up to the window the snap a few pics because I was suspect and low and behold no reaction, no movement.  In fact, he should get a job at Madame Toussaud’s.   If anyone has the answers, let me know.

Meanwhile, if you haven’t had a chance to stop by Greek Bites in Southampton you should.   Friends of mine encouraged me to stop by and get some stuff to go but that’s a little far for me to do a quick drive-by.  So instead I decided to stop in and try it out.   My review on a scale from 1-5 is a solid 4.    The moussaka and fried zucchini that I tried were awesome.   The atmostphere was pleasant and certianly a big improvement over Meson Ole!  So, in conclusion don’t be afraid to try something new!  Greek Bites is located on County Rd. 39, in Southampton.   631-488-4388.