SAG HARBOR

A FEW REASONS WHY 2024 WASN’T SO GREAT!

It’s been far too long since I last posted, and my brain feels like an overstuffed suitcase of annoyances I can’t zip shut. Before I can move forward, I need to vent and get the most maddening trends of 2024 off my chest. From the annoying to the infuriatingly bad, the Hamptons delivered its usual cocktail of glamour and absurdity this year. But some moments just demand a proper takedown. So, let’s dive into the highs, the lows, and the eye-roll-worthy trends (I won’t even bring up the “Housewives” of the Hamptons) that need to be unpacked before I can clear my head and move on.

WORST FASHION TREND OF 2024: There’s nothing quite like spotting a city slicker decked out in head-to-toe designer gear, accessorized with an Amber Waves Farm hat, as if they just finished milking cows instead of sipping a $30 rosé. Newsflash: it doesn’t make you look cool, and it definitely doesn’t make you look earthy. That hat isn’t a shortcut to farm-to-table authenticity—it’s a neon sign flashing “I’m trying too hard.” The vibe isn’t rustic charm; it’s urban douchebaggery with a side of performative granola. No offense to Amber Waves btw… love the place and yes i have the hat but with a Brunello Cucinelli outfit head to toe is more than I can stomach. If you want to buy a hat but promise not wear it with Prada shirt… click here!

Worst Food Trend – There’s a troubling craze in the Hamptons dining scene: restaurants with way too much attitude. You know the type—where snagging an 8 o’clock reservation feels like winning the lottery, only to arrive and find your table isn’t ready. But wait, don’t even think about sliding up to the bar for a drink to kill the time because those spots are apparently “reserved” for people with a reservation. Make it make sense! While I’ll spare actually naming the offenders , let’s call out that place in Sag Harbor for leading the charge. This might fly in NYC, where the vibe thrives on exclusivity, but in the Hamptons? It’s just pretentious—and honestly, exhausting. Honorable mention: XXXXX on Shelter Island for too much attitude.

Worst Media Trend – Another bad trend taking over the Hamptons? Those endless “Top 10” lists. Every publication, website, and influencer under the sun is churning them out, all vying for ad dollars. And surprise, surprise—guess who always makes the cut? The store, the landscaper, designer, plumber, pizza place, and yes, even real estate agent who happens to advertise with them. Shocking, right? My inbox is constantly bombarded with these “best of” compilations, and honestly, I take them with a grain of salt. The only time I really perk up and pay attention? When I’m on the list. Funny how that works.

Worst Landscaping Trend – The Hamptons has a sign problem—everywhere you look, there’s another one cluttering the landscape. Yes, we’re all used to the sea of real estate signs, but what about the ones for builders, designers, landscapers, and politicians that seem to take up permanent residence? Most real estate agents at least have the decency to take their signs down as soon as a property sells, but if the house sold three years ago, why is the designer’s sign still camped out front? This is supposed to be a bucolic retreat, a break from the hustle and bustle of city life—not a patchwork of advertisements making it look more like Long Island City.

Now that I’ve aired my grievances and taken aim at some of the more annoying trends plaguing the Hamptons, I feel like I can finally exhale. Consider it a little housecleaning for the soul—a necessary purge to clear the way for a brighter, more positive outlook. Yes, I know, I’m a bit of a Grinch. But hey, even the Grinch had a change of heart, and so can I. With the venting out of the way, I’m ready to turn my focus to the good stuff ahead: the moments of charm, beauty, and joy that make this place special. Here’s to a fresh start and a year worth celebrating—minus a few extra signs and attitude-filled bars, of course.

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED… YET? GLADIATOR 2 KEPT ME WAITING IN THE ARENA. PLUS, A FESTIVE FEAST FOR THE EYES!



A battle for patience (yeah more than waiting for me to blog again) rivaled any gladiatorial combat as I found myself in the modern-day coliseum—a Regal Cinemas theater—awaiting Gladiator 2. I felt like a christian waiting for the lions. The show was slated to begin at 7:00, but instead of roaring into epic action, I was bombarded with boredom with an endless parade of commercials. From Pepsi to Mountain Dew, insurance policies to U.S. Navy recruitment ads (Don’t ask don’t tell), the arena was packed with sponsors vying for attention. By the time the movie finally started—well after 7:30—I felt like a weary Roman citizen waiting for the emperor’s signal to let the games begin. In the end, though, Ridley Scott’s epic was worth the wait, even if I had to endure 30 minutes of corporate sword-and-shield tactics first! Now, I know why people prefer Netflix.

Speaking of movies for cinephiles! The 17th annual Hamptons Doc Fest rolls into Sag Harbor from Dec. 5 to 11, featuring 32 films at Sag Harbor Cinema and Bay Street Theater. Kicking off opening night is Merchant Ivory, Stephen Soucy’s 2023 doc celebrating the legendary filmmaking duo behind 44 acclaimed films, gracing this year’s festival cover. The highlight? Oscar-winner Michael Moore snagging the Pennebaker Career Achievement Award on Dec. 7 at Bay Street, followed by a screening of his groundbreaking debut, Roger & Me. Tickets are on sale now— click here and don’t miss it!

Finally, looking for some holiday fun this season? Step into a winter wonderland at LongHouse Reserve after dark, where glowing sculptures and light-dappled garden paths transform the landscape into a magical experience. This holiday season, don’t miss the return of ZIMA! by The Neo-Political Cowgirls—a captivating theatrical adventure through the garden’s beautifully illuminated trails. Directed by Kate Mueth, ZIMA! (Polish for “winter”) is an immersive, 30-minute journey that brings to life folklore, dance, poetry, and music from cultures around the world. Along the way, guests will discover whimsical vignettes before heading to the cozy art market, where handmade gifts, festive treats, and live music await. After your adventure, warm up at the Holiday Artisan Market, supporting local artists and makers, with all proceeds benefiting the LongHouse Annual Appeal. A perfect blend of art, culture, and holiday cheer! There is a suggested fee of $45 per person. You can purchase your tickets by clicking here.

PROPOSED NEW RULES COULD KILL YOUR PROPERTY VALUES… PLUS, IT’S TIME TO DINE OUTSIDE!

Oh, the drama! All that’s missing is Susan Lucci! East Hampton Town is buzzing with controversy over proposed zoning changes that could shake up property values and development norms. Picture this: the maximum size of swanky single-family homes might get sliced in half, and finished basements and attached garages could be counted in floor area calculations. But hold onto your hats, because this isn’t just about square footage—it’s about power struggles and neighborhood dynamics. While some are cheering for more modest homes and better community standards, others are fretting over the potential impact on property prices and the ability to expand. It’s a real-life soap opera playing out in town halls and public meetings, complete with builders, real estate agents, and lawyers duking it out over the future of East Hampton’s skyline. So grab your popcorn and settle in, because this brouhaha is far from over!

If you want more information about what’s going on and how it could impact you, come to my second Hamptons Homeowners Forum this coming Wednesday at LTV Studios in Wainscott at 6pm. Click here for more details and to reserve your space!

As the Hamptons unfurls its sun-soaked banners, signaling the arrival of the al fresco dining season, it’s like watching a grand theatrical production where the stars of the show aren’t just the chefs but also the seagulls eyeing your seafood platter. Bostwick’s on the Harbor has flung open its doors, beckoning patrons with promises of fresh seafood and sunset views. Rita Cantina in Springs is now ready to spice up your evenings with margaritas and tacos, while Duryea’s in Montauk tantalizes taste buds with the promise of lobster salads galore. But hold onto your sunhats, folks, for Duryea’s in Orient is joining the culinary extravaganza next Thursday, ensuring that no corner of the Hamptons is left untouched by the gastronomic frenzy. And as if that weren’t enough, Beacon in Sag Harbor is gearing up for a grand entrance on the 15th of May, adding another jewel to the crown of Hamptons sunset dining. Finally, with Moby’s set to open its doors on May 22nd, it’s clear that the Hamptons’ dining scene is not just heating up—it’s sizzling and a sign that bumper to bumper traffic is just a breath away.

CONTROVERSIAL COMEDY IN SPRINGS PLUS JEERS AND CHEERS!

It’s not every day that a racy sign in a beach community would spark both controversy and such heated debate in online forums. In Clearwater Beach, a sign advertising “swingers” events has garnered mixed reactions from residents. Some are growling about the sign, while others are giggling. The said sign has since been removed but the impression it made is still circulating in private messages and on the internet. While nobody thinks the posters should quit their day jobs for comedy writing, one thing is certain – the sign has people talking… and bickering. Meanwhile, rumor has it real estate agents have reported an increase in inquiries for properties in the community.

Now for some Hampton’s JEERS AND CHEERS!

A Hamptons Cheer to the folks at Baron’s Cove in Sag Harbor. A friend of mine who I will name Mr. Magoo for his own protection and privacy. Well Magoo recently drove his Tesla into Sag Harbor village without realizing he had less than 1% power. After a brief search, we discovered that there were two chargers in the village. Both were located at popular hotel/restaurants. After describing and begging to avoid the nightmare of what it’s like to reactivate a Tesla (its happened before sadly) to the first establishment, we were told “it’s only for guests of the hotel.” Boooo. A second call to Baron’s Cove and we were not only told to “come on by” but feel free to hang in the air conditioned lobby! So a big cheer to Baron’s Cove! It’s great when folks are part of the community. Oh Magoo you’ve done it again!

A Hamptons Jeer to Leon 1909 on Shelter Island. After describing this as one of my favorite spots in previous blogs I went back again a few weeks ago with a few friends. While I ordered a healthy portion of fries with my meal, my skinny dining partner ordered a burger with no bun and two pieces of lettuce for wrapping. Sadly, when the dinner arrived the waitress told us it’s a no go on the leafy greens. Say what?! After a quick request to speak to the manager, we were told by him that we could order a salad because “all the lettuce is already allotted for the dishes and salads.” So, make sure you count your leaves when eating at Leon and a Hamptons Jeer and big boo to them.