pizza – Hamptons Chatter

IN CRUST WE TRUST… ASIAN WITH A FRENCH TWIST… PLUS THE BROVENTURE THAT BIT THE DUST.

May 9, 2025May 5, 2025

Looks like East Hampton is leaning in hard to its new identity as “Little Little Italy.” The once-rotating door of restaurants at the old Laundry/Lodge/Leif Hope’s/Race Lane/Botero space is getting yet another tenant—this time, it’s Rubirosa (or as we’re calling it, Rubirosa for the season), the legendary red-sauce-slinging shrine from NYC’s Little Italy. Yes, the Staten Island pizza dynasty behind Joe & Pat’s is bringing their vodka pie dreams out east in a summer pop-up that’s sure to leave carb-loving locals sauced. With East Hampton already feeling like an Italian food group chat—Città Nuova, Serafina, Crazy Pizza, Sant Ambroeus (close enough), Sam’s, and La Campanina—we’re officially at risk of a marinara monopoly. But we’ll allow it, especially if the chicken parm is as gooey as the gossip at Nick & Toni’s. Get ready for vodka pies that could convert a keto warrior, and enough mozzarella to clog Montauk Highway. One thing’s for sure: this town isn’t running out of thyme—it’s running out of thyme to digest all this Italian food. Sorry.

Those of us who were annoyed beyond belief last year by the pretentious “NAOA Life Club” on Buckskill Road in East Hampton can breathe easier. If you recall, a couple of bros from the city rebranded the old Hampton Racquet Club as a wellness club with a reputedly $30,000 membership fee. $30K for wellness? As Fred Sanford would say, “I’m coming, Elizabeth!” Applications also had to include links to social media and a photograph. Of course, NO NERDY, OLD OR UNATTRACTIVE FOLKS. Anyway, thank goodness, that venture failed and Hampton Racquet is back with a fairly sensible $3K individual membership and some fancy new upgrades thanks in part to NOAA or NAOA OR NOAH. Whatever! Anywho, also back is the amazing Thai food of the former V Cafe with a new French/Asian fusion twist. Now called Suongs Cafe, it will likely be one of my go-to spots this summer… so sing a SUONG.

And remember all that brew-ha-ha last year about the Hedges Inn (everyone’s favorite drive through hotel). possibly turning into yet another exclusive members’ nightlife club? That also failed. (Toteboard so far: Hamptons 2, City Bros 0.). Andrew and Sarah Wetenhall, who transformed the Colony Hotel in Palm Beach, are taking on the Hedges Inn, founded in 1873 by Isabella Hedges (who by the way was also one of the founders of LVIS). Guests of the 13-room inn can choose from some pretty luxe amenities, including Ahab, the inn’s “texting concierge service”. Supposedly, “whether guests are after a last-minute dinner reservation, additional pillows, the best beach for golden hour, or just a clever one-liner, Ahab is always just a text away.” Excuse me a second, folks! I need to text for a clever comeback.

Also available is a “personalized beach setup service,” “curated beachside refreshments,” and a “bespoke bike program.” Thank god the bikes have spokes! Anyone else tempted to check in and see if they have palanquin service to Main Beach? Just me? The new restaurant is called Swifty’s, because nothing says “Hamptons” like a restaurant named for a famous Hollywood agent who lived permanently in L.A. Noteworthy dishes include Swifty’s crushed avocado with espelette (nope, me neither), agave house chips, pico de gallo, and Yami’s salsa. The menu also features jumbo Maryland crab cakes, chicken curry salad, chilled lobster salad with green goddess dressing, and chicken paillard with lemon, arugula, and shaved parmesan. On top of all this they’ll be hosting their (local Paul Johnson who is famous) apparently “famous” trivia night every Sunday from 5-6:30.

Paws, Sauce & Applause: Hamptons Heats Up with Two New Pizza Joints and a Doggone Fabulous Pageant

April 8, 2025

Well, pour one out for Kizzy-T’s—our beloved little East Hampton haunt that managed to serve charm and chow without the side of theatrics. Taking its place? None other than Crazy Pizza, (click here to learn about Crazy Pizza) the flashy import from SoHo, where apparently pizza needs to be served with a show and a manifesto. According to their website, they’re bringing “an Italian oasis” to our quaint village, because what East Hampton really needed was more imported vibes and fewer local gems. While they wax poetic about “bold new flavors” and “elevated culinary visions,” we’re just hoping they don’t charge $45 for a margherita and a round of interpretive dance. Stay tuned, folks—it’s pizza, but make it drama. BTW, friends in the city have given Crazy Pizza some major thumbs up.

As you remember (you do, right?) we have two beloved pups. Bella, a black mixed breed who is now getting on to “dowager” status, and Ralphie, an incredibly dignified beagle. And by “dignified,” I mean “not really.” And not ready for dog shows. Dog agility? Ralphie jumps like a sack of potatoes. Obedience? Ah hahahaha, he’s a beagle. Of course, he is the cutest and bestest boy there is, but it’s hard to tell from a photograph.

Which is why I’m unsure whether we’ll be entering the Inaugural Baron’s Cove Doggie Pageant. Sure, Bella would have Evening Wear locked up, or would have if Chanel Chien hadn’t closed up shop, and Ralphie would win the Swimsuit competition rocking a tiny pair of Vilebrequin trunks, but I don’t want to make my dogs feel as if their only value is their looks.

Of course it’s all for a good cause–Southampton Animal Shelter Foundation. If you can’t make the pageant in person on May 18, ESPN will surely be streaming it later. Click here for more details.

Finally one more bit of pizza news. Pizza Pizza is now part of Cluckman’s on Water Street in Sag Harbor. If you’re looking for a quick slice on the go… this is your spot. It’s good and hearty pizza with an eclectic and large selection of slices. The safe is also friendly and attentive. So give it a try and let me know what you think!

< Cluckman’s Pizza!

WISHES FOR 2020! PLUS A TASTY PRIX FIXE!

January 21, 2020

I’m still reeling from the coal in my stocking this holiday season. I mean I’m not poor, poor, pitiful me but I was hoping for a brand new shiny MacBook so I could bring you more Hamptons Chatter! But enough complaining! Because the optimist that I am, my gaze is now turning toward the new year! So what will it take to make me truly happy…. other than a good script of Zoloft? Wait no further, here are my wishes for not only me but everyone in the Hamptons. Remember, a few years ago I wished for a few more good Mexican restaurants and now we have two (Coche Comedor and K Pasa).

Domino’s Pizza or Little Caesars – Since Phoenix restaurant in Wainscott closed the home delivery thing in the Hamptons sucks. I grew up in suburbia and although we didn’t have Ubereats or anything of a sort, we at least had pizza delivery!! While I know the above pizza companies aren’t exactly gourmet, they deliver! I’m not picky, I’m just lazy.

More Cell Towers – A few years ago, I wrote a blog about all the dead zones out east (click here) Well not much has changed in the 6 years since I wrote that piece. If you don’t believe me how bad it is on the East End, download the Open Signal app. It will

CELLMAP2 — A VERY CRUDE MAP; A is an ATT dead zone. V is Verizon dead zone.

show you how bad it actually gets. The one thing that has changed is that more folks are abandoning landlines for cell service only. Where a few years ago, cell phones were a luxury they are now necessity. The fact the Hamptons have such limited service is not only dangerous it’s irresponsible. UPDATE: It looks as if something is happening soon… for ATT users !!! CLICK HERE

An Upgraded Movie Theater – I love going to the movies. The popcorn, the shared experience and the amazing real estate commercial before the film even starts are all part of a great evening. But lately, I’m having CINEMA ENVY. Social media posts by all of those snowbirds in Florida flaunting reclining chairs and big glasses of Chardonnay while watching Star Wars have me wanting that experience here.

I know most folks would pay more just to avoid having the seat where your legs are in your mouth and a spring is puncturing your back.

Well enough wishing and complaining for now anyway. If you’re looking for something good to do this time of year and I know the options are limited… I’m going to start talking about some of the great prix fixes going on right now. My first choice right now is Tutto Il Giorno in Southampton and Sag Harbor. On Thursday and Sunday’s they’re offering a 3 course dinner and two glasses of wine for 2 at $59.00 (not including tip). Considering that’s the price of a single entree at some places, this is a great deal. Not only that the food is off the hook but not exactly low calorie. I will also say, this place has some of the best atmosphere of any eatery on the East End. Well that’s it for me this time around.. MANGIA!

ANSWERING SAG’S KNEAD FOR DOUGH… AND IT’S THE ____ OF THE HAMPTONS.

August 3, 2018August 3, 2018

I hope it doesn’t sound too too cheesy, but I’ve been working on some snappy lines about the newest restaurant to open its doors in Sag Harbor. Yes, I know I need to work on my delivery. Anyway, for now I’ll just give you a piece of my mind about Sag Pizza.

Located in the site of the former Conca D’oro (they even kept the sign), the newly renovated and sleekly designed restaurant opened it’s doors to a hungry horde earlier today. Perhaps it’s because it’s from the same folks that brought us LT Burger that had them lining up outside an hour before a single pie was tossed. So, how is it? I thought it was pretty darn good, especially since they were only opened for about an hour. While I heard some grumbling about having to wait in line to get a slice, it’s the first day folks! I’m sure they know there’s mushroom for improvement and given the folks running the place, they’ll get there soon enough. Now, to the really important part… the food itself. I had a slice of the margherita and one of the pepperoni. Both were made with fresh mozzarella and sauce on a thin crust that was nicely complimented by a slight smoky

flavor from the wood burning oven. Overall, a solid slice and a welcome addition to Sag Harbor. If you want more menu information, click on the restaurants website here. Let me know what YOU think.

You know how when you go to any town in the U.S. and the locals have a funny way of referring to their community, you know like in Bayonne you’ll meet someone and they’ll tell you how “people call us the Paris of New Jersey!” Hmmm, while I’m not sure I usually agree with these analogies I will tell you, I do have a few of my own about certain things in the Hamptons. In fact, I asked some of my friends if they had some quaint ways to refer to the sites and sounds of the Hamptons. Here are a few of my favorites:

Madison and Main Sag Harbor is the 42nd and Broadway of the Hamptons. With pedestrians that don’t look, drivers who don’t know how to drive and more cars than these two streets can handle, I can see it. Hit that intersection on a Saturday at 7pm in July and August and you’ll be looking for the dirty Elmo to come take his picture with your kids for $5.

Stop and Shop stores are the DMV of the Hamptons. Perhaps it’s the long lines. It could also be the parking lot that’s full with the mayhem and madness of novice drivers. Maybe it’s the cranky cashiers or maybe it’s the fact you really don’t want to buy the produce at either that this comparison makes sense. Either way, I’m not a fan of either and they apparently bought their dingy lighting from the same place.

Gucci pants, shoes, shirt and an Hermes belt are the Garanimals of the Hamptons. Remember those kids who used to eat the glue in 3rd grade? The ones who were lucky enough to have their mother tell them to always make sure they wear a giraffe pants with a giraffe shirt?! Well some of them grew up and now live in the Hamptons. Yes, t

hey’re here and still dressing with the same amount of thought as they did when they were in phonics class. It’s a thoughtless uniform but with a more expensive flair. By the way, I would wear these Garanimals too if I had the money to spare.

Tesla is the Honda of the Hamptons. If you live in a normal part of the world you go out to dinner, the movies or wherever and you park in a lot that’s probably Honda heavy. It’s a good car. It’s a sensible car. It’s also the vehicle, 90 percent of your friends drive in the rest of the world. Well this isn’t Cherry Hill here. It’s the Hamptons. Yes, sensible has a different look here on the East End. But hey, I do like these cars. I’m not knocking them. BUT, if only there was a supercharging station closer than Southampton.

Amagansett is the Tribeca of the Hamptons. It’s young, it’s hip, it’s loaded with celebs, it’s trendy and the coffee shops are so hip they hurt! I hope I don’t need to explain this further. If you don’t believe me, stop by Jack’s coffee anytime from now to Labor day. Oh, and if you ever see a guy wearing gap khaki shorts and a polo shirt who stands out like a sore thumb in town…. that’s me.